Powerless

Chapter 29

"It's not that," you whisper, taking a deep breath. It's time to woman up and say it. You have to say the words so he can help you. "I think I'm, fuck it really hurts, I think I might be pregnant." 

All of the color drains from Spencer's sleep-deprived face as he rushes to turn the faucet off, standing you up. The pain continues to intensify, a gruesome cry coming out of your mouth as he helps you stand up, letting you fall into his arms. You go to turn your head and examine the contents of the toilet bowl, only for him to stop you, cupping your cheeks. 

"You don't need to see that," he assures you firmly. He's probably right, but the curiosity is getting to you. "But we need to get to the hospital, okay sweet girl?" 

He grabs a few towels and walks you to the bed, trying to calm himself as you hold back full blown sobs. Rushing around like a mad man, he grabs a pair of his old sweatpants, delicately slipping them onto you and shaking his head quickly when you comment about the blood. After packing a small bag with clothes and towels and all of your toiletries, he helps you back up and you walk toward the door, pain coursing through your abdomen to the point where you're dizzy. 

The last thing you hear as Spencer gets you settled in the car is his fake-calm voice repeating the same phrase over and over. Maybe it wasn't even for you, maybe it was more-so for himself. 

"You're gonna be okay." 

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Heaviness covering your whole body, you slowly stir awake, immediately met with beeping and shuffling and florescent lights. You adjust to your surroundings, looking over to see Spencer on the other side of the room, sternly talking with a doctor. 

"Well we can ask her ourselves. She's awake," the doctor nods toward you, following behind Spencer as he rushes by your side. He grabs your hand, leaning down close to you and kissing your forehead. "Miss Y/L/N?"

"Yes," you ask skeptically, terrified suddenly. Your pain isn't as bad, more of a dull ache, but the fatigue hints that your IV is something other than just fluids. "What happened?"

You look up at Spencer, eyes full of concern, but he just turns to the doctor. Clearly he doesn't know anything either. Shit, you think. He isn't your emergency contact. 

"Your emergency contact, Emily Prentiss, is on the way right now," the doctor states. She has a kind yet matter-of-fact presence, and you know whatever news she is about to drop won't have an impact on her at the end of the day. But for you, it's heavy. "Since Dr. Reid here isn't on your list, I have to make sure you're okay with him hearing this information." 

"Yes, of course," you nod, squeezing his hand. 

"I'm sorry to have to deliver this news," she exhales, eyes sympathetic. "But you're experiencing complications from a miscarriage. This is fairly common at such an early stage in the pregnancy, especially in cases of IUD failure. In your case, however, you were very lucky you came in when you did, because of the implantation failure, you were right on the verge of sepsis, which could have been fatal. We've removed the IUD, which may add to the bleeding, but the tissue is no longer obstructed so the process can continue as normal." 

Spencer squeezes your hand as she speaks, and you feel your heart shatter once more at the look in his eyes. The question he asks next nearly kills you. "Is there anything you can do to stop this?" 

"Unfortunately, once a miscarriage starts, we're powerless," the doctor sighs. You exhale shakily, unsure of it's relief or sorrow. Perhaps both. You glance over at Spencer, your heart breaking even more as he rubs his hand over his eye**, the telltale sign he's distressed. You wonder for a moment if he's trying to discreetly wipe a tear away.