Sirens Eye || A Kylo/Ben X Reader Fic ||

Chapter 40: Selfless & Stubborn

"You're lucky that she's graduating this year, or else you'd have to transfer schools for sure. But, with only four months left I think you can get away with it. Especially because she isn't in any of your classes this upcoming semester," she looked up at him then, plucking another dead petal and letting it fall to the floor. Ben watched it fall, thinking that that's how he felt at the moment.

Dull, limp, falling.

He was scared.

"I don't want to put her through any more than I already have," he spoke in a small voice, remembering that he had made Sweetheart question their relationship. Question what she meant to him.

Evie put her hand on his shoulder and Ben tensed at the contact. She looked at him with a look that he had never seen before. A mother's gaze.

"She can handle it. I know that because she's my daughter and because she loves you."

Ben sucked in a breath, not having heard anyone else say that to him. It made it feel more real and less like a dream. He was starting to feel overwhelmed.

Abruptly he walked behind Evie and put the centrepieces back on the table, grasping the edge to steady himself.

"I'm going to do... something to screw things up. I always do."

Evie clicked her tongue, "Maybe. Probably," Ben looked up at her, shocked that she wasn't denying it, "But so will she. You know by now that she is not perfect–"

"She is to me," Ben cut Evie off, unintentionally, but he couldn't let anyone degrade his feelings for her. Not even her own mother. He looked up, expecting to see Evie frowning or something, but it was the complete opposite. She was smiling, walking over to him.

She popped out her hip and put her hand on it, much like Sweetheart does he thought, and said, "And that is exactly why you'll make it work."

Ben thought about it, there wasn't anything that he wouldn't do to be with her, to protect her and make her feel like the only woman in the universe. In many ways he had already done that, but he had also made her feel small and alone, scared and confused. He wasn't sure if he deserved her constant forgiveness.

He thought that she should hate him. Not love him.

He hates himself for letting himself fall in love with someone so precious, because he's scared all he'll do is break her down. Dim her light and keep her from becoming the best she can.

"You didn't hear this from me..." Ben looked at Evie, completely terrified for her next words, "But she's applied for a semester abroad."

Ben's jaw dropped. He had no idea. When did she do this? How... could she do this?

"She did it the day she came home for Christmas Break, just made the deadline too," Evie's hand found Ben's shoulder and he tensed again.

"Where?" His eyes were downcast, his fists clenched.

"Greece, William would go with her and do his own business there to make up for the trip you guys missed."

"Greece," Ben confirmed aloud. He couldn't go to Greece. He was teaching three classes this semester. He knew that people went abroad for semesters, but he never kept tabs on where.

"It's not confirmed yet hon, she won't get the news for another two weeks."

Ben had to fight the inner turmoil starting to bubble within him. Not necessarily the blinding rage that he might have once felt, but it was more guilt than anything. It was his fault. All of it. He pushed her away and made her feel like she needed to leave. It was his fault that she applied in the first place. Now that things were finally where they were supposed to be she might be leaving.