The Worst Days of Our Lives

Chapter 26: Chance

Chance began pacing the length of the dark sidewalk, mumbling to himself, his almost whispered words almost sounded like “Great to see you’.  When he stopped moving and opened his mouth to begin the next length of his tirade, Cassandra stood up unsteadily and looked at him, her eyes were confused and sad; shaking her head and moving her eyes to the ground, she simply whispered, “I had no idea.” Chance had two options at this point, he could scream at her more about how stupid she had been for staying here by her own free will and not telling anyone, or he could force himself to breathe and calm down, hearing her out and finding out the details of all that had happened.

Stubbornly, Chance threw his hands in the air and moved over to where Cassandra was, wrapping his arms are her frail body, pulling her against him. He assumed she would now feel emotions of either guilt for putting him through hell or sadness that she had made the mistake of staying here, but no tears were shed, no body-shaking sobs were felt. Chance pulled away to look at Cassandra, but all he found was dry eyes and a small sympathetic smile, “I had no idea you didn’t understand.”   

At this statement, his mind began to swim once more, he felt himself sway and begin to lose his balance, the almost-falling sensation bringing him around enough that he could regain his lost balance. ‘What was there to understand? There was no sort of way to over-exaggerate or not comprehend a kidnapping,’ Chance thought, moving his hands up to his forehead, the pressure from all of this that was building inside of his head was beginning to give him a throbbing headache.

“We really should clear some things up,” Cassandra stated and looked from Chance’s completely confused face to Jessica’s once again, venomous glare. Cassandra didn’t seem to notice this because she asserted her hand towards Jessica and flashed her a smile, “Cassandra, it’s nice to meet you.” Jessica took Cassandra’s small hand and squeezed it a little to hard, making Cassandra wince as he bones slid together painfully, “The pleasure is all mine,” Jessica spat back at her. Luckily, not Chance nor Cassandra was in a place to look for the deeper emotions in Jessica’s words, they both simply ignored the bubbling anger in her voice.

Turning to Chance, Cassandra again repeated ,”We really do need to talk, but not here, are you guys hungry?” She questioned, turning her head to glance at Jessica too. Twenty awkward silence filled minutes later, the three of them had piled into Chance’s truck, drove to the nearest Waffle House, and were now sitting in a back booth, steaming cups of coffee sitting in front of all of them.

It didn’t look like Chance and Jessica were planning to start the conversation, so Cassandra took the initiative, “I’m not quite sure what you believe happened, or what you have been believing, but I’m afraid its, well, wrong.” Fighting against every fiber in his being, Chance suppressed the urge to start screaming at Cassandra for saying these ludicrous things. Pressing his mouth into a tight line and balling his fists beneath the table, he waited for her to continue.

When she did, she turned to Jessica, “I’m not quite sure how much you know or have been told, but if you have the same thoughts as Chance,” Cassandra smiled and shrugged, shaking her head, “I’m afraid neither of you truly have accurate information. Chance, I’m not sure how you distorted the facts in such a way. Toby isn’t some evil monster that set out to ruin our lives,” Chance’s eyebrows shot up at the mention of a name, he now had a title to put with a face. However, Chance’s expression had turned from anger to sympathy, he could see it in his Cassandra’s eyes, she honestly believed the words that were coming out of her mouth. What had he done to her to make her so naive?

“I’ll explain it to you the way it was explained to me. This whole situation, the entire experience, it was a blessing, a gift, a wonderful occurrence that we should both be thankful for.” As much as Chance wanted to simply lash out at Cassandra, deep down he knew that something had changed within Cassandra’s mind, she wasn’t thinking logically or clearly like she used to; her ability to process mass amounts of information was simply no longer present.. She was doing nothing more than what she was trained to do, as if Toby programmed her to give up all thoughts besides the twisted ones that belonged to his own mind.

“That day, well, it would’ve been awful for both of us. Toby knew that,” Cassandra continued, nodding her head as she spoke, “I didn’t want to leave you and you didn’t want to lose me. It would’ve ended in tears and screaming and that would’ve scarred us both. But that’s just the first day. Imagine if I would’ve actually left for college. You would’ve been left in that town, alone. I would’ve been thrust into a completely new and unfamiliar world, full of dangerous people. We both would’ve had unimaginable stress on our shoulders, neither of us could’ve truly handles such a burden.” Chance couldn’t believe what she was saying, she honestly believed he had saved her from s life of  misery, when all he really did is prevent her from living.

Cassandra looked confident that she had convinced him of the true brilliance and kindness of this Toby, but Chance had to snap her out of this. Reaching forward, he took both of her hands in his, both himself and Cassandra leaned across the table, looking into each other’s eyes. “So, if he saved you, you wouldn’t leave him?” Chance asked, afraid of her answer. As expected her head shook back and forth urgently, “No, I would never, he has done so much for me, for us,” she persisted. Chance took a deep breath, “If you wouldn’t leave him, that means you’re still with him, is that right?” Cassandra nodded and looked at him like that was the most obvious question in the world, where else would she be? Chance needed to know her current circumstance, “Toby is very fond of you then, to have kept you and taken care of you all this time,” she nodded in agreement, “So where is he? Why were you alone, drinking yourself into oblivion?” This question was the first that Cassandra didn’t look like she automatically knew the answer to. Chance could see her take a few moments to go over the events in her head, no doubt she was having a hard time remembering anything recent.

Slowly, her confident, happy expression, slowly melted away. Cassandra yanked her hands from Chance’s grip and pulled away from him, cowering into the corner of the booth. Her face was plastered with an expression of horror and pain, Chance didn’t know what had caused her sudden switching of moods, but he knew Cassandra well enough to realize when she was about to have a panic attack. Unfortunately, Chance also that meant that there was practically nothing he could do about it.

Within all the emotions present on her face, not only was their the tragedy, but there was confusion. Chance realized that she hadn’t experienced these attacks during her time with Toby, so the sensation that was taking over her lungs and making her skin crawl, was almost new. Feeling the strong instinct to take care of her, Chance stood up and moved towards Cassandra but she flinched away as though she had been slapped. Concern for Cassandra bubbled through his mind, what event had she remembered that was so awful, it forced her to panic?

Attempting to avoid frightening her further, Chance backed away in order to give her space. Cassandra, however, viewed this as an opportunity to escape her current situation. Before Chance realized what was happening, Cassandra had slid out of the booth and bolted past him, into the ladies restroom.  Chance hesitated for only a second at the door, turning around to Jessica and giving her an apologetic look. She remained in her seat, looking blankly into her cup of coffee.

Chance pushed the door open and scanned the small tiled room, stopping when his eyes found Cassandra. Shaking on the hard, grey floor, Cassandra had curled herself into a ball and Chance could hear her breath coming rapidly. “I’m so sorry, Cassandra.”