Speechless (Julian Casablancas Fanfic) Finished

That Fucking Alex Guy

Fabrizio joins Holly at the register and I stand contemplating my options of seating.

I could sit between Nick and Albert but considering how drunk Albert is, I would be afraid to be right in the line of fire for any possible vomit. I scratch that spot off the list. The only other openings are two empty seats that I assume are meant for Holly and Fab or the chair next to Julian.

I contemplate stealing Holly's chair but decide against it being as she is paying for pizza and I guess her and Fabrizio were pretty cute together.

I take a deep breath and walk over to my seat next to Julian and sit down with a quiet thud. He doesn't say anything and neither do I but you could tell that both of us had an entire speech prepared that would never actually come out. At least I did.

Finally Holly and Fabrizio return to the table with the pizza and everyone cheers grabbing all three boxes and laying them out across the table.

"Dig in!" Holly chirps and takes her seat next to Fab.

I grab a slice of pepperoni and devour it right away not realizing until now just how hungry I truly was.

"Hungry Reese?" Nick laughs and I blush giggling and nodding.

I notice Julian give Nick a weird look and without saying anything else he just looks away and starts to talk to Jesse instead. I frown to myself slightly disappointed that the conversation didn't go any further, that would have been the first time tonight I got to actually talk to someone besides Holly.

Nickolai leans across the table to me probably noticing how bored I was and smiles, "So how have you been Reese?"

I sit up excitedly and lean in as well.

"Well I've been good I guess, what about you?" He shrugs and I take that as a not so good response.

"Hey you said you live in Spain right? When do you go back there?" He seems genuinely interested and I can't help but smile.

"Actually I'm staying in New York now!" I beam and he looks surprised but pleased.

He opens his mouth to say something else but Julian interrupts him, "You're staying in New York now? Seriously? Well shit, I bet it's for that fucking Alex guy."

Julian gets up quickly and pushes his chair back harshly, leaving before I can even respond. He seemed so angry and I feel slightly uncomfortable after watching his outburst.

"Oh Reese I'm so sorry about that." Nikolai says with a worried tone in his voice and he places his hand over mind comfortingly. "He's been so on edge lately."

"What the hell was that?" Jesse blurts and everyone, without saying it, is thinking the exact same thing.

Julian's POV:

"You're staying in New York now? Seriously? Well shit, I bet it's for that fucking Alex guy."

I stand up roughly from the table and storm out not even thinking about how I'm going to get home or about the rest of the boys. I can't believe Reese just found someone new and totally forgot about me! I know we only saw each other a few times but I thought it was special.

I did a jerk thing when I hooked with that other girl and I regret it like crazy but seriously? A fucking billionaire? How am I even supposed to compete with that?

I walk out onto the street and look around not really sure what to do now. I'm so angry I can hardly think and my legs feel weak. I really need to sit down so I just fall to the ground and lean against the building behind me.

Reese was the only girl I saw myself staying with for longer than a week and now that's all gone, all because I couldn't go without sex for more than three days. I bring my legs into my chest and place my elbows on my knees, putting my head in my hands and moaning. I just caused a huge scene in there and I can't go back in but I don't have anywhere else to go.

"Hey."

I look up and see a tan, light haired brunette hovering above me wearing a pair of faded blue jeans and a baggy sweater.

"You seem kinda bummed." She mumbles struggling to keep a cig between her lips as she searches her purse for a lighter.

I laugh to myself and mumble, "You have no idea."

"I know the feeling, mind if I join your sulk fest?" She asks giving me a sad smile and I pat the pavement next to me encouraging her to have a seat.

She sits down next to me, stretching her legs out and leaning against the brick wall. She looks up to the sky as she lets out puff of smoke after puff of smoke.

We sit in silence for a moment just enjoying each other's company until she finally speaks up, "You know that feeling when you're in a the shower and you feel yourself getting bored of the temperature so you turn it up and up until it's practically burning your skin? Yet even then, it just keeps becoming dull as you stand there, losing the excitement of the heat. It's almost like your skin is too numb to feel anything."

I'm surprised at first by how much is coming out of her mouth after sharing nothing but silence. The more I think about it, though, the more I see what she means. I sight, "I guess so."

"Well that's how I feel about my life at this point. And that's scary because I'm young and fresh and I should be doing exciting things but I can only turn the temperature up so high you know?" She looks to me with an intense look and I can't help but notice how beautiful her eyes are.

I try to say something but nothing comes out and I just end up nodding.

"That's my existential crisis, what's your problem?" She says looking back up to the sky and I do the same letting out another sigh.

"The girl I'm into has a new boyfriend and he's a billionaire." My issue seems so unpoetic compared to hers and I feel shitty about my poor response.

"That womps." She mutters and I can't help but laugh.

"Womps?" I give her a questioning look and she laughs as well. "What does that even mean?"

"It means jack shit." She seems zoned out and I can't tell if she's stoned or just upset and confused like me.

"I'm Julian by the way." I say after a moment and she just nods.

"Mimi" She says.

She whispers her name almost as if it's a secret. I like Mimi, a name that can be whatever you want it be. That's what I sounds like to me.

It goes back to quiet and I think to myself about Reese, I wonder if she'd be jealous seeing me talk to another girl. Probably not, considering she's got her billionaire.

Suddenly a high pitched bell starts to jingle and I gaze over to see the pizzeria door opening.

"Shit." I murmur grabbing Mimi's hand and pulling her up off the ground causing her cigarette to slip between her fingers. I drag her into the alley of the brick building and it's neighbour.

"Okay man if you're gonna try something here just at least use protection." She says and my eyes go big as I realize how creepy, serial killerish it is that I just dragged her into a dark alley way.

"What? Oh, no. Fuck, no." I start but she cuts me off with loud laughter.

"I'm joking." She says and I roll my eyes.

"Very funny." I murmur bitterly but internally, I sigh in relief.

"So what was that? The girl you like and her billionaire boyfriend leaving that restaurant?" She says pulling away from my grasp and walks deeper into the alley way.

"Something like that." I respond, not sure if I'm supposed to follow her down the dark pathway or not.

"Follow me." She says almost as if she's reading my mind and I do as I'm told, leaving behind any chance of catching back up with the others and Reese.