Hot Flash Fiction: Perimenopausal Musings

Freedom (#slip)

"A life without freedom is not a real life at all," someone said, so I gave those two broads the slip and free I was. 

I had been in their custody almost three years, but it had felt like an eternity to me. In their mind I had no rights. Like twisted parole officers, they thought they could make me do anything they wanted. They told me when to eat, when to sleep, and when to take a goddamn crap. I could refuse the cold oatmeal or the inedible vegetables they fed me under the guise of state recommended nutrition, but I'd see it again the next meal. I could scream and rattle the bars in the middle of the night but the consequences were ugly. They seemed hell bent on exhausting themselves to control me. I needed out.

After about a year I attempted my first escape, but it was short lived. Those broads were no fools, they anticipated my every move, and back I was in captivity. After that, they were constantly vigilant. I think they even got nervous I would do something rash like hurl myself into oncoming traffic so they never let me out of their sight if any dangers were around. So I did what I had to do. I secretly worked out to get smarter, stronger, and faster. 

I don't think I was born a bad person, but this kind of situation seems to be the norm for my type. I guess we are destined to push the boundaries and break the rules. Something about our DNA or how we are wired I guess. It stinks though. I never get what I want.

Today I thought I might have to punch one of them to escape but I hate to do that. Not because punching a dame weighs heavily on my minuscule conscience, or because it isn't a nice release of all that pent up rage and anger that seems to bubble so quickly to the surface, but because I'm wise enough in my old age to know it has serious consequences. 

But today the opportunity presented itself and I quietly disappeared. 

Bliss. I found myself in a busy shopping mall with people, anonymous strangers, swirling around me. My heart raced with excitement and I knew what I wanted first, the first thing any man wants when he gets out of prison.

I eyed a Milky Way bar on a low shelf at a news stand. I didn't have any money, but I've been known to take advantage of the five finger discount. The lady at the counter gave me the stink-eye though, so I knew I'd better keep moving. Besides I already knew what my next move would be.

I bee-lined for an open glass elevator. Those magical feats of engineering.  I got in alone and stood on tiptoe to push the lowest button. That's when a large hand clamped down around my wrist.

"Do you know how worried sick you just made your mama running off like that?" said my grandmother. " You are in BIG trouble young man." 

She dragged me away kicking and screaming.