31 Days

17 - Absence

Warning(s): none

Victoria couldn't deny that her travels abroad had done her some good. It had given her a much needed break, and the trip had been filled with beautiful memories. It seemed like her dear Aunt Sophie had been right after all. But even after her month long excursion to Italy, she still had no idea what to do about her failing engagement to Landon.

You see, she and Landon had been having issues ever since he got down on one knee. She thought she'd seen all sides of him, but she was wrong. Day after day passed with nothing but arguments and yelling, nothing too positive or hopeful for their future. They'd been engaged for two months when she traveled to Italy for a month at the advice of her aunt Sophie. She took her grandmother with her, who'd always wanted to see Italy and jumped at the opportunity to go with her granddaughter. The wedding was supposed to be six months after the engagement, but now Victoria wasn't so sure she wanted to go through with it.

She sighed and her forehead nearly rested against the cool glass of the window of the train. Her grandmother looked over at her.

"What is it, honey?"

Victoria didn't look away from the countryside that sped by. "Nothing new. I'm still not sure if I should go through with marrying Landon or not. And we're headed home right now, I'll be back in our apartment by sundown. This is my last chance to decide."

"It's not your last chance, darling, you can still decide after you return," her grandmother ventured.

This got her to tear her gaze from the countryside. "That's true, but I want to decide before I return. I feel like I would get stuck in the engagement whether I like it or not if I didn't decide before I returned, Grandma Evelyn."

Evelyn smiled softly. "I know, honey. I just wanted to remind you."

The pair fell silent. Victoria went back to watching the landscape speeding by, but she didn't really see it. She was too lost in her own thoughts to appreciate the beautiful countryside.

She knew she'd genuinely loved Landon. Up until their engagement, at least, if she was honest with herself. And she thought she'd gotten to know him inside and out and that she'd seen every side of him. That is, until she said "yes" and the quarreling began. It started small; he'd leave the toilet seat up and she'd gently remind him to put it down next time and he'd become defensive. She'd be just getting out of the shower after work and he'd interrogate her about why the dishes weren't done. Then, it grew bigger as the wedding planning begin, until they were fighting over nearly everything.

Victoria hated fighting with him. She hated fighting with anybody in general. She always tried her best to de-escalate the situation and talk things through calmly and rationally. She was only human, so even she found herself growing angry and irritated during fights. But she really did try her best to stop any and all fights.

She'd heard about a bazillion times before that all relationships experience fights, but her gut told her that this wasn't the respectful, rational discussions or fights that so many of her married friends had experienced.

She groaned and put her head in her hands. "I thought I'd seen all sides of him but now I feel like I can't even trust him! But I can't deny that I loved him!"

Evelyn remained silent, letting her granddaughter try to sort things through for herself.

Victoria lifted her head from her hands and looked into her grandmother's kind blue eyes. "I thought I knew him."

Evelyn's heart ached for her granddaughter. She placed a sympathetic hand on Victoria's leg. Victoria fought back tears that threatened to spill onto her cheeks.

"What do you think, Grandma?" she whispered. "What would you do?"

Evelyn had already formed her opinion in her head, and she spoke softly. "I will only say that you keep going back to the idea that you thought you knew him. If he kept that side of him from you, you didn't fall in love with him. You fell in love with the him that he presented to you that he thought was favorable."

Victoria's eyes shifted out of focus as she began to retreat into her thoughts again.

"But, remember, honey, that the decision should be yours and yours alone."

Victoria nodded faintly. Silence fell between them again. After a minute, Victoria's quiet, strong voice broke the spell.

"It's off."

Evelyn looked up at her granddaughter. Victoria, in turn, raised her eyes.

"It's off," she repeated. "The engagement, the wedding, everything. He's not who I thought he was. I can't go in blind, and I can't let my significant other be dishonest with me. I deserve better than that."

Evelyn gave a soft smile. "If that's what you want."

Victoria nodded determinedly. "Yeah, this is what I want."

She looked down at the ring on her left hand. It held no beauty for her now.

"I suppose absence didn't make the heart grow fonder," Evelyn said with a sly wink.

Their giggles were hardly audible over the train whistle announcing their arrival to the station across the street from Rome's airport.