Her Personal Thoughts

PROLOG - THE YEAR BEFORE

Dear diary...

August 2019

Tonight was Nolan's birthday party. I arrived around 7pm. That was the first time I was coming to his place. DJ Snake and Bipolar Sun's Middle was playing in the garden behind the house. Golden hour was beautiful. I was wearing that black top that suit me perfectly and let my straight hair down.

I saw Nolan first cause he was welcoming everyone in the garden in front of the house and wished him a happy birthday. Then I said hi to everyone and I stayed with people I knew, Madelyn, Jayden and my friend Owen.

Behind the house there was some outdoor furniture next to the music spot with lights and paper garlands hanging from the arbor. A nice and cozy place. I loved that. And there was this little organized bar near the bay windows. I sat down at the stool and Owen served me a beer.

I went outside to see who was coming and people smoking in front of the house. Then, back at the bar I found Ethan and we discussed a little. It made me really happy to see him again and especially to talk to him. We didn't since middle school and it was very cool. I felt like we could have been friends for a long time if we just talked before but never mind. We didn't use to hang out with the same friends so it would have been complicated.

Then, I don't remember exactly when but there was this guy. Leo. He came to see me on the terrace - or we were here both talking to our friends and we all started to talk together - and this guy absolutely wanted to know my name. I had fun watching him trying to find it but didn't succeed. He said that I had a face to be called Lucy and he wanted to call me by this name. That was cute.

So Nolan started a game he had prepared for the party. We were many of his friends reunited and didn't know each other so he had put everybody's names on papers. Each one had to pick one and see the "dare" written with it on the paper. If the person we picked the name noticed our "dare" we were outta the game. If we succeeded, we'd get the other person's paper and had to do his dare. At the end, the one with the most of the dares accomplished was the winner. I wanted to pick Leo's or him to pick mine but I didn't. I picked up Meryl's paper. I had to make her sing or dance with her. So I tried but it didn't really worked. I don't know if it was accepted.

I asked my friends what they were supposed to do. This guy I met, Liam - I don't remember how we met that night but we were talking - wanted to know my dare. I told him but I didn't gave him the name of the person I was supposed to play a trick. I didn't want him to tell Meryl.

Nobody came to try to do their dare on me. Maybe it was someone who didn't know who "Louise" was. Or maybe someone shy. I was happy to pick the name of someone I knew. I'm not sure I would have done it if I didn't.

I finally discovered that my friend Owen had the paper with my name when he did the dare. He told me he got it after he got someone. He showed me the paper and below my name was written that the person had to nab my number. I didn't even paid attention when Owen asked my number pretending that he lost it. I've been so stupid.

Around ten minutes to midnight I was outside under the arbor texting my friend Owen. We were sitting across from each other sending messages. He was telling me I had a chance with this guy Liam cause he was constantly around me. He came pinch my neck once earlier and said a few words. That was so cute. I'd like to remember what he told me. I don't.

But Owen was also saying that I had a chance with Leo. He just kept on saying that he was looking at me all the time. And that made sense considering the fact that Leo was telling me several times that I wasn't having enough fun or something. I don't know, he wanted to see me dance and cheered me when I was. I'm terrible at dance. I've always been. I did gym when I was young. I like to dance but I'm not a dancer. My best friend is. Not me. I only dance when a song I like is played and that I feel it or if I have someone to dance with. I'm not really comfortable to dance all alone or when nobody is.

So when everybody was gathered dancing the Madison in the garden I just watched them under the arbor doing it. Liam came to get me up and tried to lead me with the dance moves. But I sucked at it. It was nice that he did that for me cause we just met. We didn't know each other before this party.

Then the guys brought the cake and Nolan blew out his candles. I don't really remember a lot of this part. We took a lot of photos together and danced again. I remember Ethan got up on a table and started a little striptease. All the girls were shouting to cheer him and the guys filmed it.

Around four in the morning the boys wanted to go back to dance but everyone was tired so I joined Chelsea, Leo and Jayden in the kitchen. They were eating chicken and hamburgers and they offered me to eat some with them.

I remember we finally went to sleep on the couch in the living room with Chelsea, Ethan and Leo. Chelsea and Ethan shared the same side of the L-shaped sofa and Leo and I shared a blanket on the other side. I remember he kept on stealing it from me. In the morning he was laughing about it with me. I remember his smile. He was really cute.

I was a little sad to go back home after this party. Before I go, when I was waiting for my dad to pick me up Ethan wished me luck for my studies. It was really cool to see him again and to talk to him. I'm not the kind of girl super confident especially with boys. I'm always scared to talk to them.