My Testimony

Feeling Alone

I remember being like five years old and watching almost all the other kids playing with their friends. Even that young I felt so different. 

I was chubby and "overweight" for my age, which my family told me frequently. 

My mom is older than most of the other parents I saw so some of things other kids were allowed to do I wasn't. Like playdates with new friends wasn't really accepted.

I was ashamed to bring anyone to my house anyway. My family seemed to be so crazy compared to what I saw on the surface of other families.

I went to school and felt alone and came home and felt alone.

From years on I still felt misunderstood and outcasted. People didn't like me or the person I portrayed.

See I wore a mask.

I felt like if I showed people the real sensitive me they would tear me down so I acted rude and tough. It drove people away. My family said for years of my life that they didn't like me.

That hurts so bad.

That your own family doesn't like you.

I won't lie and say I didn't hurt people. I did some mean things that hurt people and as a result drove them away.

It was my pain coming out.

My attitude seemed to be: "Since they won't hear my pain it's gonna bottle up and come out eventually"

It did. 

I would lash out. Fight and hit people. Throw things. I realize now I would emotionally bully people. 

I felt like I wouldn't find someone to Love me for me and stay.

I had friends that stayed constantly for a year more or less then we would drift apart.

Sometimes I still feel alone.

When I fall GOD is always here to pick me back up and walk with me.

I'm realizing that he's the only friend I need.

All the Love I'm searching for in people and things GOD has already gave.

He's always been there for me.

I just didn't know him. 

He's always known me.

I'm still getting closer to him.

I'm still learning.

Still making mistakes.

GOD picks me up and walks with me every time.

I know now that GOD is all I have and all I ever need.

As painful as those moments were I Thank GOD for them. 

Now I know my Best Friend.

Not a human one.

My Best Friend Forever even after I leave this earth. Before I took a breath of life.

GOD was is and is to come

GOD is my Best Friend Forever.

He's given me human "best friends". I Thank GOD for all of them.

For all of you who feel alone... 

Your not alone.

GOD was here before you took your first breath and will be with you Forever.

GOD has your friends out there. People who love unconditionally.

GOD is the bestest friend forever you could ever have.

Get to know him.

You're never alone.

GOD Loves you best.

Psalms 27:4 NIVOne thing I ask from the LORD, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.