Amrita

Reunited

"You really have the balls to ask that? Why do you think?"

"You didn't have to jump into the river just to get away from me, though. I know how the water makes you feel."

"I'd rather spend five hundred lifetimes underwater if it meant I'd never have to see you again."

This time it was clear: My words pierced through him. The only thing that gave it away more than him slightly recoiling away from me, was the look in his eyes. It was the first time I'd ever seen the great Phawin Wanichakarnjonkul seem vulnerable. Well, maybe the second time.

"I thought that maybe a hundred years would be enough for you to forgive me," he says softly, in almost a whisper.

"No," I say, coldly, walking to the front door and opening it for him. "I asked you not to bother me but maybe you forgot, so I'll ask you one more time. I don't need you here. Please leave and don't come back."

"I never forgot. I wouldn't break my promise for nothing," he replies. "Do you really think that I would even dare to show my face to you if I didn't have all the answers you were looking for? I spent a lifetime searching for it all. I always intended to let you know."

I've always been a reasonable person despite the many emotions rumbling inside of me, and what he's saying made sense. There was no reason to come look for me after all these years if he didn't have anything important to say. If I allowed myself to recall the Phawin I knew in the past, he was never the type to lie to anyone or break his promises, especially to me.

"Just hear me out... You can hate me, curse me as much as you want, kick me out of your life and forget about me all over again, but please listen. All I'm asking for is a few minutes. Just please listen..."

The soft spot for him in my heart has awakened. I couldn't shake the way he looked at me. Maybe it was because it's been so long since I saw my own eyes reflected back to me. There was such a sense of comfort when I looked into his, like I wasn't alone. It's almost too much to ask to make sense of everything so suddenly, but I was willing to give it a shot.

"Wait there," I say, pointing to my couch and closing the door. "I'm going to take a shower and get out of these clothes. Don't touch anything."

Phawin raises his hands in the air in faux surrender, moving aside to let me through. I see him try to hide a smile of victory, and an immediate tinge of annoyance courses through my veins.

"Ten minutes, that's all I'm giving you," I say, disappearing into the next room.

I just hope against all hope that I'm not making a huge mistake.

******

"Wait! Nong!"

Hia calls out to me in the usual way that he does, but I don't slow down. It's not my fault that he's a slow walker.

We're the only young guys to be seen on the main road at this time of day. Our town doesn't have its own school, church or even its own market so working as early as you can is a common occurrence. The recession made it tough to travel just to study, so we learned to work as soon as we could walk. Most kids our age were all busy with their family's farms or shops, but Hia and I were the exception.

"Nong, wait for me," he says, finally catching up and falling in step. He's a bit out of breath but he doesn't wait long to bring up exactly what he wanted to know. "Did you finish what Kruu Kae wanted for us to read?"

(*Kruu is Thai for Teacher)

"No," I answer. "I don't like reading, Hia. It's too hard, and the books that she gave us to read are so boring..."