Whimsical Reflections

The Patient

Eddie had been to the doctor's office twice that week so far. Seven times that month. Forty-two times that year. And it was only May.

When Dr. Robert walked past the waiting room and saw Eddie chatting up the other patients, he was at his wit's end. "Again?" he called to Jackson, a nurse who was walking by, motioning toward Eddie. "How many times is it now?"

"I've lost count," Jackson said with a shrug, and continued on. 

Dr. Robert prided himself on his small clinic, which he ran his colleague Dr. Schaeffer. Together the two of them ran a friendly and accommodating outfit. But he had to draw the line somewhere, didn't he? 

The problem was, there was nothing wrong with Eddie. But you wouldn't know it from listening to him.

"So what are you in for?" Eddie asked the old woman sitting next to him as he brushed his long hair back. It was like a nervous tick with him, he was always pulling at his hair. It was too long for his age, Dr. Robert thought. Eddie was in his 40's. It was high-time for a haircut.

"Bladder issues," the old woman said bluntly, settling back in the waiting-room chair with a huff.

"Going too much or too little?" Eddie asked.

"Too much."

"Yep. I've had that problem."

Dr. Robert shook his head. Eddie had complained about every ailment known to man, but Dr. Robert didn't believe any of it. Eddie was just crazy.

Another nurse, the new one, Betty, stopped on her way down the hall. "Everything okay, Doctor?" she asked, trailing his line of sight to Eddie. 

Dr. Robert liked Betty. She was hardworking and always had a good attitude. She had come to their practice from the hospital downtown. She was ready for someplace quieter.

"It's just Eddie. Hypochondriac. Keeps coming here, making appointments, lying about his symptoms."

Betty's eyes went wide. "Wow. People really do that?"

"Eddie does."

"What do you do with him?"

"Look him over, send him packing," Dr. Robert said with a shrug. He was past the point of sympathy. At first, he had felt badly for Eddie. Hypochondria was a real issue, after all. But not one Dr. Robert could treat. And he was tired.

Betty tilted her head, studying Eddie for a moment. "He looks... kinda familiar. I wonder if he ever came to the hospital?"

"Probably. Probably frequents all the local medical offices," Dr. Robert said, shaking his head in disappointment.

"Yeah, the same thing happened to me last week," Eddie was saying to another patient. "Just popped right out. I think I have Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. Doc didn't seem to think so, but I believe it's still a real possibility."

The other patient, a teen who was nursing his elbow with one hand, scooted further away in his chair, clearly uncomfortable.

"He's disturbing the other patients," Dr. Robert lamented. 

"Maybe just give him an ailment? Kind of like a placebo, but not."

Dr. Robert thought on this. It seemed unethical to make up an illness to appease Eddie. And he wasn't sure it would help. But he was at his wit's end. Nothing he said to Eddie made Eddie believe that he was fine. No matter what, he always turned back up.

Eddie was chatting up the nurses now, making them laugh at some joke or something. He had many of them wrapped around his finger, it seemed. Dr. Robert had to put a stop to this.

"Set him up in Exam Room One," he told Nurse Betty. 

"Sure thing." She walked around to the nurse's station while Dr. Robert continued to watch Eddie interacting with the nurses and other patients. 

After a moment she retrieved his chart and called out, "Eddie Rodriguez?" 

Eddie looked up, and stood with a huge smile. "That's my cue. See you all later!" He waved goodbye to every nurse and patient in the waiting room like he was their best friend.

Dr. Robert moved out of the way as Nurse Betty led Eddie down to the exam room. A few minutes later she came back out to the hallway and joined Dr. Robert.

"Blood pressure and pulse is normal," she said, handing him Eddie's chart. "But, he got some blood work done and I think you'll be pleased with what you find."

Dr. Robert scanned the blood test results and quickly found what Nurse Betty had flagged. "Good work," he told her. It was his lucky day. There was finally something wrong with Eddie. And maybe this would put an end to the whole thing.

Dr. Robert joined Eddie in the exam room. He was seated on the exam table, swinging his legs like a child. 

"Dr. Robert!" he greeted with a wide smile.

"Eddie, good to see you again," Dr. Robert lied. "What seems to be the issue this time?"

"I'm pretty sure I have a brain aneurysm," Eddie said, but he was still smiling.

"Huh, that sounds serious. Well, we got your blood results in from last time. And it looks like there is something the matter."

Eddie's smile dropped then, for the first time. "What?"

"You're a little low on iron in your blood. Just a slight anemia. We'll prescribe you some vitamins and you'll be right as rain. Should help with some of those, uh, other symptoms you've been experiencing."

Eddie's smile was fully gone now. He stared down at the ground, his whole jovial nature diminished to one of... sadness. Dr. Robert was surprised. This, he hadn't expected.

"I, uh, thanks, I guess, Doctor."

"I thought maybe you'd be happy," Dr. Robert said, suddenly feeling bad for Eddie once more. "We've finally got a cause for some of your issues. We can treat it. This is good news, Eddie. You won't have to come around so much anymore."

Eddie just shook his head. "That's not what I wanted." Then, he hopped off the table and left before Dr. Robert could even tell him what iron dosage to take.

Dr. Robert walked out to the hall after him, but Eddie was already almost out the door, rushing past a woman coming in and practically knocking her over in his haste.

"What'd you do to him?" Nurse Betty asked, joining Dr. Robert outside the exam room.

"I just... told him the truth."

"I remember where I know him from," Nurse Betty offered.

"It's not from frequenting the hospital?"

"No, it is. But not because of hypochondria. His wife was sick, I remember. Cancer. He was at the hospital all the time. It wasn't my department so I didn't see him as often as some of the other nurses. But I remember them telling stories. He was always making them laugh. I guess he practically lived there for a while."

Dr. Robert glanced back toward the door, where Eddie had been just a moment before. He always seemed so happy to be here. Like visiting family. Family you actually liked.

"And his wife?" Dr. Robert asked, even though he already knew the answer.

"I think she passed last year. I don't quite remember, though. Like I said, not my department." 

Nurse Betty shrugged and moved on, but Dr. Robert stayed there, staring at the door. Willing Eddie to come back. If not today, then maybe tomorrow, or the next day. However many days he wanted.