jane the virgin [l.h.]

1.2- that's the problem

i wake up and notice myself dawned in a blue hospital gown and hooked up to an iv. luke sits in a chair next to my bed, snoring lightly and his eyes squeezed shut. my arm is in a sling and my heart beats with the monitor.

"luke?" i ask quietly. he rubs his eyes and lets out a yawn.

"i'm really sorry jane." he sighes. the nervous expression remains on his face. "i just though that you'd talk about you know, the abortion."

"there isn't much to talk about." i sigh. "the baby was already passed, it doesn't really qualify as an abortion."

"can we like try again?" he asks hopefully.

"c'mon luke." i chuckle. "you can go back to the life you want. partying and getting drunk and getting laid. you don't have go stay with me."

"but that's the problem." he gets up, and comes over to me. there's a look in his normally crystal clear blue eyes, but they seem cloudy and conflicted. he kisses the top of my head gingerly, and grabs my hand. "i want to be with you."

as quickly as i can, i kiss him on the lips, a shiver shooting up my spine, wrapping my hands around his neck. "the past month with you has been incredible. i don't know how to say it, but it was so much better getting to know you."

"you don't know how much i wanted to hear that." i giggle. "and in time, if we're still together, i guess that we could try for another kid. but losing this one is pretty upsetting."

"i understand." luke rubs my back in support, i'm pretty feeble from the surgery. "i think that we should name her."

"how do you know that she's a girl?" i ask quizzically.

"i got a hunch." he shrugs his shoulders. "maya lillian. we both liked those names before. and we should add both last names. so maya lillian alderman-hemmings."

"i think its cute with just hemmings as the last name." i try to smile, a tear running down my face. "maya lillian hemmings."

before i know it, i'm sobbing. luke begins to cry a bit too, not as much as me, but i never really thought that he had the emotions to cry. i lost my child in a car accident. it hits me once again.

"it's okay j." luke tries to comfort me again. "it's not either of our faults. it was a drunk driver."

"i miss my baby." i wail, kind of like a baby.

"it's okay jane." luke whipes the tears from under my eyes softly, with his thumb. "you are going to be okay. we are going to be okay. babygirl, we're going to just fine." suddenly, luke blushes furiously.

"it's a cute nickname." i giggle. "but i prefer j."

"me too jane." luke nervously runs his hands through his deflating quiff. it's probably lacking from the amount of cuddling.

"hey luke?" i ask. "why did you leave this morning?"

"ever heard of a boner?" he chuckles. "i had to take care of that."

"oh." i raise my eyebrows. "so i turned you on?"

"especially in my clothes." his voice lowers and becomes raspy.

"i was carrying a baby, how did that turn you on?" i ask, laughing.

"i don't know." he chuckles. "i mean i've always thought you were hot. we had a few classes together over the years, but i never really took the time to get to know you. until the party."

"i think i kind of remember it." i whisper, so even luke can't hear me.