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Missing dialogue and action tags^
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Consider rephrasing this as it can be misinterpreted to two people (Neel's aunt's husband AND amother Uncle Bane dying, but I know they'fe just the same person)^
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An example of prepositions are not used correctly here or you miss some commas^ (Maybe change to: 'By the time I knew so much about her, it was almost sick' or 'By that time, I knew so much about her that it was almost sick') These may seem so minor and I may seem nitpicky but this can still impact your story and the flow of your sentences~
Writing style: It's a lot of narration and describing Jhanvi through the eyes of Neel, but I feel lack it lacks a little more vivid description and figurative language. There was a lot of average and surface-level description such as things like 'She took my breath away' 'I was obsessed with her' 'her eyes were crystal blue' but I feel like you could dig deeper with description and really paint the infatuation Neel has with her.
Sentence structure: Simple sentences, average structure. Everything flowed nicely and didn't feel choppy or the words didn't feel disconnected. It was decent, no problems at all in this aspect.
Though just a friendly suggestion that isn't necessarily part of sentence structure but the writing format/structure of the chapter:
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I feel like this would sound even more dreamy or really siwrling around in his head if they were italicized, these little things can still make a great impact on the aesthetics of your chapter~
The pace of the story: Good pacing, I think it was perfect. Not too fast nor too slow, the build-up was timely and considering it was only around 3000 words, I don't have any complaints.
World-building: I feel the world-building was vague and ambiguous, but it wasn't bad. You did structure it with the fact that theiy're in college and the lives they live, such as Neel being the ordinary college guy partying when he can and having a part-time job at the bookstore. It wasn't bad, but maybe you could've done better!
Bonus: Cute plot! And also, I like where you left the ending and that it can be left to the reader to imagine what happens next. Since we don't know much about Jhanvi's feelings for Neel, was the smile a precursor to a polite rejection? Or was it excitement and she was hit lovestruck by him as well?
