Girl with the striped socks

-The new weird guy-

I sit quietly doing work that Mr.B gave to the class, he's a geography teacher so its pretty easy for me. I finish up and pass it to him, and as I sit down i see him smile at me proudly, meaning i did well, I excel at geo so it makes me really proud of myself. I get my sketch book and draw a person, I'm really inspired by the greek goddess Persephone so I draw a girl inspired by her. Maverick looks over my shoulder, 

" Woah, you're really good at drawing." He said impressed by the sketch I have so far. 

"Its still a sketch though, i wouldn't get too excited right now, I'm probably not gonna finish it... as always." I reply stoically. 

"Well you very much should, you know, i'd buy that." He says in a very genuine and passionate tone. 

"Meh." I mutter 

And right as I finished talking, the bell rung. I get up as fast as I can, and for some fuckin reason, this shithead runs after me. I try speed walking but, sadly, he catches up

"*huff huff* h-hey, wait up! Can I see your schedule?" 

At this point theres no turning back, so I give him my schedule that I have on a piece of paper that I oh so messily put in my pocket.  I uncrumple the paper and hand it to him not saying anything has I do so. 

" Awe, we don't have the next 3 classes together, I guess Imma see you at lunch." He says sadly while giving my schedule back. 

" Oh, erm, bummer, huh." I say anxiously. " Im gonna get to class I guess." 

I speed walk to class without saying bye, cuz, I don't even know this guy. What if he's one of those dudes that only talk to you with the expectation of getting in your pants? Ugh no time to think about this, I have math next and Im not exactly good at that. 

                                                                                ~ time skip~    

           I hear the bell ring signaling the end of this class, and next is...... FUCK  

I have to got to lunch which means the guy is gonna be there, and I DONT WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH EM'. The last time I made a friend they ended up being my worst nightmare, gossip and rumors with an extensive amount of false hope. I cant allow being hurt again, not now. Maybe in the future Ill have colleges, but high school is a hot spot for anger fueled by hormones, stress and especially sadness. I had an idea. Though i hate missing a day of school because of my whole fear of being unnoticed and not worried about, I think that maybe I should skip class, since this is the only other one im gonna have with the.......thing again, so why the fuck not? 

I get my shit from my locker and jogged my way sneakily around school. Although my school has security guards that are über assholes, they don't have a lot of attentiveness, stupid, huh? I get to the door that is located most closest to the back of the school since only employees have that access, and I book it home, until I hear a voice, a familiar one, 

"Hey, you skipping too?" 

 "FUCK ME IN THE ASS WITH ACID ITS THE FUCKIN'  WIERD DUDE!!!!! "  I mentally yelled to my self. 

" U-um well-" 

"Its okay no need to lie." He said in a soft voice. 

" I am skipping but I do get good grades." I said in sarcastic tone. 

"Yeah makes sense. Why are you skipping? Im skipping because I really don't like physics, that shits boring as fuck." He explained. 

"Im skipping because I- um, I just, kinda didn't feeling like going to class today, ya know?" I lied.

"Hm... you sure? Sounds like youuuuu're lying!" He jokes cheekily. 

"No dude, I really do, and could you PLEASE FUCK OFF?" I shout irritatedly. 

" Oh, um shit sorry. I didn't wanna make you mad, just trying to be a neat person cause you're the only person that sits alone!" He shouts back. 

"JUST FUCK OFF ALREADY MAN I DONT WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU, DICKHEAD!!!". 

I sprint off in anger and irritation.

" Why wont he leave me alone, goddamnit? I did what I do most of the time, and thats be invisible, why does this guy wanna be around me all of a sudden?" I think, then I remember. 

"He cant know, theres no way! Im pretty sure no one else knows about me and the thing!" I think nervously. 

" No that's impossible, theres no way, no one  has ever told me to go the guidance counselor or nothing, I would know if they knew." I reasoned. 

I get into my house empty and lonely as always. A few minutes later I feel a wave of heaviness, and deep and utter sadness and loneliness. My vision gets blurry with tears, as I walk to my bathroom in my bedroom. I go to the drawer I always go to when I'm like this. I get the newest sharp blade I could find. I look at it with my head down low and tears dripping off my face, and I lift up my sleeve to expose the scars and recent cuts I had done due to the anxiety of the first day of school. Im not suicidal, but I cut. Im aware people can be suicidal but not cut and people who cut aren't always suicidal. Its an addiction. I cut three deep lines on the back of my forearm, that was enough for me. I put the razor back inside of my drawer. And lay on my bed put a cloth I have for this stuff and I bandage it, when I finish I fall asleep. 

                                                          Fuckin' insomnia, and well internet. 

Thanks for reading thiiiiiiis, took me a while to finish but i think it was worth it, im a night owl cuz of adhd n shit but theres benifits to that i guess, lmao. 

                                                                                               Love, Sparrow (aka Hadssah_0_rat0) ❤️🐦