Sorcery (Louis Tomlinson)

xvii. Smiles

I watched on as Louis reached in and pulled the medical booklet out, glancing it over for a bit before throwing away his wrappers and returning to his seat. His long fingers flipped through the pages of information easily, azure eyes scanning over them before flicking to me.

"Why was this in the trash?" He asked, eyebrows furrowed as he read over more information. My hands threaded my fingers together in worry before I attempted to change the subject. I knew Louis wouldn't understand my fear of surgery, and would probably argue that I get the ICD.

"Because I don't want it." I quickly said as I scrolled through more channels. "Wow, there's a lot of sports games on today."

The television remote was taken from my hands and used to turn the screen off, Louis' attention now completely focused on the ICD packet and what it was doing in the garbage in the first place.

"Mira." He spoke, reminding me of a parent scolding a child. "Why was this in the trash? The doctors gave this to you to help, didn't they?"

"Well, yeah..." I started, not really sure how to approach this issue. "But I'm not getting an ICD so there's no point in having the booklet."

"And why aren't you getting one? It says in here it could help keep your heart beating normally, why wouldn't you want that?"

"I just don't." I weakly said, unconsciously shrinking into the covers like they would just swallow me up and take me away from Louis' interrogation.

"That's not a good reason. Why won't you have the surgery? This thing could seriously help you." Louis argued, making me shake my head.

"I don't want the surgery. I don't want to be put under and cut open..." I trailed off, my voice growing softer. "A-and what if it doesn't even work when they try it?"

Louis saw it then, he saw how afraid I was. His lips parted slightly as he realized how scared the very idea of surgery made me, and he intertwined my fingers with his before speaking again.

"It'll be fine, you won't feel a thing." He assured me, but I only shook my head.

"Exactly. W-what if I die and I don't get t-to be with y-you...I'll n-never know because I w-won't feel anything..." My voice kept cracking and stuttering, and I felt a pinching in the corners of my eyes like I was going to cry. Louis immediately started hushing me and wiping away the small tears with his thumb, my hand gripping his left arm tightly as I closed my eyes in fear. I felt Louis' lips kiss my cheek, begging me to open my eyes again. Louis' face was blurry from my tears when I did, my grip on his arm getting slightly tighter as I ached for his comfort.

"Shh, don't cry, Butterfly. You're much prettier when you smile and you're happy." Louis whispered, offering me a small smile before he moved to sit on my bed, the mattress sinking a little with his weight. He opened his arms for me to hug him, and I gratefully wrapped my arms around his middle, my face becoming buried in the small space between his neck and shoulder and he held me tight. I felt Louis' hands on my back where the hospital gown opened a bit, warm and soothing.

"Please don't make me get it..." I weakly whispered into the crease of his neck, Louis sighing before releasing
me and tilting my chin up to stare at him.

"I just want to keep you safe." He told me quietly. "And if getting this surgery means that I don't have to worry about another incident like yesterday's happening again, then I'm fine with it."

"I'm scared, Louis." I admitted, Louis cupping my cheek with his palm and offering me a small smile. I leaned into his touch on my cheek, my eyes closing before opening to look him straight in his breathtaking eyes.