Blood Enemies • The Vampire Diaries [2]

I. DREAMERS OFTEN LIE

I decided to ignore her call, setting my phone back down, letting it ring as I walked over to my windows, pushing back the curtains to let in the sunlight. I shut my eyes, momentarily basking in the warmth against my skin, before glancing down at the slightly gaudy ring wrapped around my finger, blue stone twinkling against the light.

Once again, my phone began to ring, and that time I decided I'd take it, walking back over to my desk, leaning over my chair to pick it up. My hand fell to the chair's back, resting against the jacket I had left draped over it months ago ; Elijah's jacket.

"Finally," Caroline greeted once I answered, putting the phone up to my ear. "I thought I was gonna have to leave you another message."

I gingerly ran my fingertips along the soft fabric of the jacket, saddened. Stefan wasn't the only one that disappeared that night, Elijah was gone too. Initially, I'd been angry with him, convinced that he and Klaus were working together, both messing with me, but as months went by, I had a lot of time to think - too much time - and I wasn't so sure that Elijah had meant to hurt me.

I mean, why would he leave me that note, if he was going to just leave?

"You know," I replied, faintly smiling. "one voicemail is just as effective as nine."

"Well," Caroline said. "I don't want you forgetting about the party tonight."

Today was June 22nd, mine and Elena's birthday ; our eighteenth birthdays. Legally adults, somehow still teenagers. Caroline was throwing a party, even though I'd told her a million times I didn't want one. It was stupid, since I wasn't even really turning eighteen. And I didn't want to think of that, to be reminded that I was dead.

Because it would inevitably return me to last spring, and I couldn't be reminded of that. It was too sad, too hard to think about. I never got a say in becoming a vampire, never had that choice, and I hated it, I hated every part of being a vampire.

Everything hurt worse, like everything was just so extreme. There was no subtlety in being a vampire. When I was happy, it was like I had the whole world in the palm of my hand, and when I was sad, it was like I had nothing left to live for, to smile about. What was worse was the blood, because I knew that I could make all of that hurt go away by feeding, but if I did that, then I'd kill someone - I mean, I didn't even know how to feed without going too far, without losing control.

So, I was stuck feeding off animals, trying to keep everything under control, when I was just one drop of blood away from draining the entire town. I was constantly on edge.

"I never said yes in the first place." I pointed out, moving to sit down at my desk.

I wondered if maybe things would be different for me, if Stefan were there. Maybe I wouldn't hate vampirism as much, or maybe I'd hate it more because I'd have to watch him in love with my sister, for the rest of her life.

What kind of a selfish person was I to think that way? To feel that way?

I hadn't told her about what happened with Stefan, about our near-kiss, I mean, how could I? Besides, that wasn't the only secret I'd been keeping, and it wasn't by far the worst.

No one knew that Klaus had turned me. But I'd had to come up with a story, because nobody was stupid enough to believe that I didn't remember, so I found a scapegoat ; Katherine. She hadn't stepped foot in Mystic Falls since that night that Klaus had set her free, so I figured I'd pin it all on her.

And they all believed me. It was so easy to lie, so easy to keep it going because it was so easy to just turn that part of me that felt guilty off, so easy to live a lie. But, it never lasted long.