Folkin' Around (Ryden)

We're So Miserable And Stunning

September 27, 2005 (Yes I know I skipped like eight months)

I sat in the cafe, sipping my coffee and reading the newspaper like a boring adult. Brendon was sitting across from me, silently scribbling something down onto a notepad. The sounds of brewing coffee and a laughing girl filled up the small room.

That's all I am really. A boring adult. No, none of these thoughts today. Today is my day to be happy and celebrate the album.

"There's a music store across the street. Want to go look?" Brendon closed his notepad and looked up at me.

"Sure," I threw away my empty coffee cup and followed Brendon out of the cafe. It was a warm day, as usual in Las Vegas. A small girl ran down the sidewalk in front of us, being chased by an older boy who I assumed was her brother. The mother apologized to us and rushed after the children.

I dragged Brendon across the street, eager to see if they had our record. I carefully pushed open the door and a small bell jingled, indicating our entrance. I let go of Brendon's hand and walked over to the register.

"Hello. I was just wondering if you had the album A Fever You Can't Sweat Out by Panic! At The Disco?" I nervously asked. It was weird asking for our own album.

"Sure do! You're the first person to ask for it! In fact, no one has even bought it yet!" The man at the register said. I frowned. "It is an amazing record, you'll love it!" That made me smile.

My mom said she was going to buy it the morning it came out. Figures, no one really cares as much as they pretend.

He pulled a copy out from behind the desk and handed it to me. I paid for it and showed it to Brendon.

We sat on a bench in the far corner of the store. Brendon ripped the plastic off the case and carefully pulled it open.

"That's my name!" He pointed to the lyric booklet. I smiled and chuckled. I grasped his hand in mine and looked into his eyes.

"I'm proud of you," I said to him. He blushed and giggled.

"I'm proud of all of us Ryan. This is our album! I could put this in a boombox and hear my own voice!" He grinned as wide as he possibly could. His eyes crinkled up on the sides and I could tell he was genuinely happy.

"You know how we were talking about what's going to happen in ten years? Well, what if we aren't performing together... I mean what if something terrible happens and the band breaks up?" I let out my deepest worries to him. His face fell and his eyes darkened. He quickly looked away, I could tell he didn't know what to say.

"I suppose it's for the better then."

What did he just say?

"I mean, we are sensible people. So if the band breaks up it will most likely be for a good reason. Then I suppose we'd all be happy and move on with our lives. But I certainly don't want that to happen."

I turned to face him again and smiled. "You're right. Sorry for bringing that up, today is supposed to be happy. Let's get out of here and go pack. We are going on tour tomorrow!"

The man working at the register glanced over at us with a confused look. "You guys are going on tour? What's your band name?"

Brendon gave me a knowing look and looked proudly up at the man. "Panic! At The Disco."

................................................................................................................

I folded up my t-shirt and threw it into my suitcase. It was half past noon and I'd just finished packing for our first tour. It was only around the US but I was excited nevertheless. The rest of the band was downstairs doing something noisily.