Wolfish Love

Jamie!

|1 Hour Before The Death Of Baden's Mother|

Baden:

I'll kill him if I have to. How dare he? Does he think she's better than me? I'll show him, what he's missing out on- what he left behind. Standing up from the wooden log, I throw my head back and take a long chug from the sixth Cruiser of the night. Wiping my mouth, the bottle slips from my fingers as I start my march- my nostrils flaring. Maneuvering around the bonfire, I curl my fingers and bawl them into tight fists.

My eyes narrow into slits as I near him. Did he think I wouldn't see? Everyone's here, everyone in this goddamn town was invited to this party!

As I pass a group, I catch sight of a long, thin stick protruding from one of their back- hanging loosely from someone's fingers. I pluck it out and he twirls around with a yelp of surprise, staring at me incredulously. I wave the guy off and continue with my mission, ignoring the snide comment 'What a fuckin' freak, bro'. Yeah, I'm that fuckin' freak that's breaking Jamie's back tonight.

Swinging it back and forth, I test the strength as I wack it against a nearby tree and it doesn't snap. Perfect, I smile down at it.

Focusing on Jamie with a cold glare, I imagine pulling him from the shoulder and hitting him on the head as I turn him to face me. Stepping over branches and little rocks, I watch myself- I don't want to fall in the middle of the woods, in front of everyone, especially in front of Jamie. That'll be double the humiliation.

His head falls back and his laughter is barely audible over the loud chatter of the party. It's still soft, intense and contagious- just like I remember it to be. With one more swing of the stick in the air, I shout out "Aye!" Pointing the stick at his back, "Jamie, you freakin' whore!"

Sarah steps into my view with a hand out before her. Her eyes are stern as I halt in front of her "Don't- Don't you even think about it, Baden." She says "He's not worth it."

I clench my jaw, if she wasn't my best friend- she'd be on the floor, crying from a hit by the stick. "Move," I order her instead, pushing past her. Her hand flies out and grips around my arm. Pulling me back, I fall back against her sturdy, round shoulder. I look up at her, my ears ringing with rage. Furrowing my eyebrows, I try to pry her fingers off of me but she doesn't budge.  "Let go of me, Sarah," I demand, challenging her as I stare deep into her dark, chocolate eyes.

"No" With a shake of her head, Sarah refuses, the hair in her tight ponytail caressing the sides of her neck as  moves her head "Trust me." Leaning closer to my face, "You're going to embarrass yourself, Baden and everyone will laugh" She says, looking around the large space.

People dance to the beat, laugh around while some trip over their feet, vomit behind a tree or make out by the fire. No one is interested or is even aware of what's going on.

I may be who I am but I don't care. I've cared for so long that it took too much energy out of me that I started to learn how to not. No one here and I mean no one at all affects me. Too bad to think that Sarah is all about that, she's terrified of others judging her.

"I don't fuckin' care Sarah." I exclaim, pointing at his back "He brought another girl-" I shove a finger in her face, "It's been one month Sarah, one freakin' month and he wants to walk around with another girl- acting like a whore? I'll show him." I try to move out of her grasp but it tightens. "Sarah," I warn, tugging on my arm. I'll push her off of me if I have to.

"I know, I know" she pampers. Slinging an arm around my shoulders, Sarah turns me away from him. "He's a dog, it's true but don't let that hit you. This is our night, our night. Your dad could pop up anytime and if he does, you're done. I am too so let's have fun, forget about Jamie and focus on each other."

Peering over my shoulder, I try to push down the overwhelming feeling as it burns in my chest. Watching him, I can't help but grind my teeth. He always did this, always made me mad, did everything to make me jealous. He knew I was here and he wanted this. He wants me to overreact and cause a scene. I shouldn't give him that. It's not worth it but oh my god, I can't let it go. I can't!

"Breathe, Baden- just breathe in and out" And the pleading is evident in her tone, her eyes frantic as they search the crowded forest.

"I shouldn't fall for it," I tell myself, as much as I thought it would help- it didn't do much to dim the feeling down, "He's a jerk and I shouldn't give him the satisfaction". Closing my eyes, I blow out through my mouth and breathe in, a deep and drawn out breath from my nose.

"In and out, slow and smooth" She encourages, hugging me closer as she cups my shoulder in a warm embrace. "This is our night. Don't let it go to waste because of him." Sarah coos softly.

I can't help it, I literally can't! and I don't want to. He deserves whatever comes at him. He deserves it, he deserves it, he does!

I glance up at her and watch as her eyes sparkle with hope. Knowing Sarah, she knew something like this might happen and that it'd be hard to stop it but as resilient as she always were, it'd never work out for her in the end. She shouldn't have stopped me from finishing it off.

I duck underneath her arm and narrowly miss her reaching hand. Jogging toward Jamie to create some distance between Sarah and I, I raise the stick in the air over my shoulder and cry out like a woman in a battle "Jamie- Hey! I'm calling you!"

Looking over his shoulder, Jamie's eyes widen in fear as he sees the weapon in my hands. Before I could swing it, the ear-piercing cop sirens echo throughout the forest and people begin to scatter like ants. My heart stops dead as I pause abruptly, I look to the side and shake in panic as the Sheriff's car rolls down the winding path of the forest.

I'm dead, I'm done. My dad's going to kill me.

People run away, even Jamie does so as he follows after his new girlfriend and hops into his car. With one last, shock filled glance at me, he drives off- speeding down the road. I hear Sarah shuffle behind me, "We're meat" She mutters in my ear.

And we are.

Cars leave the premises as if a fire were on them while Sarah and I stand in our spot- waiting for doom. For my father to climb out of his car and to kill us both. Instead, it's not him dressed down in his uniform but my mum. Stepping out with one foot after the other, my mother looks like a storm as she slams the car door behind her and strides across the rocky open space with her face twisted in fury.