A SECOND CHANCE WITH JAY [ONGOING]

JAY 7

"That's a nice bracelet hyung"

He gulped down his water, raising his left arm as we both gain access to see it clearly 

"Really? it's a promise bracelet. The girl I love used to have the same one as me"

My heart starts racing like crazy, I felt nervous and my sweat increases two times.

Is it really? I don't want to think it

Maybe it's just a coincidence 

We all had out last practiced and I messed up big time earning a bad lecture from Song Deuk-nim

I grabbed my toiletries and head to shower, I let the warm water slid down my body as I inhale the smoke just romaing from the bathroom stall I'm in

The way I see it, I never thought Renn could laugh like that, could talk like that, could be happy like that

She seemed different when she's with Jay, she's comfortable talking casually with him as if.........

As if they've known each other for so long

I don't want to think bad against Jay, he's my hyung and I trust him, and Renn too

I love her so I want to make this work

After an hour I got out from stall and fixed myself before exiting the room, I peeked again to their room seeing Renn asleep while the girls were on their phone

I gestured to them that I just want to be beside her while they agreed, I snuck in the covers and hugged her from behind

Moving closer to her I felt something hard in my waistline, I grabbed it and it was her diary. She always have one and I always respect her privacy

I reached it to her bedside table placing it until a folded paper dropped. I reached for it and it was a picture

I squint my eyes and to my surprise.......

My heart stopped the moment I saw Jay hyung's sketch

Wae? Why is this here? Why is Jay hyung's picture in her diary?

My eyes start to tear and I can't hold my breath to cry inside like a winner

It's hurting me inside like hell

As soon as Renn realized that I got the paper, she tried snatching it away from me as I cry even more seeing her face

"Daniel" she muttered panicking to be beside me ready to explain

But I can't... I can't stand to even look at her this time

I pushed the paper against her and ran outside, more tears start to follow and seeing some members see my state gave them a reason to cling more and heed my story

 I just want to be alone right now, I fasten my steps down the building to be alone in one of the practice room

I see Jay and Sunghoon discussing and my anger totally overpowered me as I clutch Jay's collar pushing him against the wall

The latter seemed shocked seeing my dreadful state, and the more I see look at Jay's eyes the more I fumed with anger

"Daniel" we all look at Renn who is on top of the stairs with a worried expression

I pushed Jay lightly leaving the scene as I spared myself from the crowd, I practiced and practiced until I was out of breath

They were right, to be young you need to feel the keen sting of love

But they didn't tell me it was this painful

A sudden knock was heard I glance to see Renn with puffy eyes, I ignored her presence placing my arm against my forehead

I felt her sit beside me holding my hand, I yanked it away harshly as I was not feeling okay yet

"You're right it is Jay that I met way before. He was my neighbor and we got close as a child. I never knew our paths would meet again that's why I agreed to be with you."

I clearly heard her but I still didn't want to talk, it was both hurting and frustration that it building inside me 

"I just didn't want to mention him to you or hs name because it still hurts, I still didn't get chance to heal properly, when I saw him on t.v for the first time after years. It still felt like the first time we first met"

I can feel my tears roll down the side of my face hearing my girlfriend expressing her real intentions to me

"I'm sorry Daniel I'm really sorry, I didn't mean anything for this to happened. I tried my best to not mind it, the more I ignore the fact that I still love Jay"

Her explanations were a pain straight from the heart that I haven't kept well hearing from her. That I want to stood up fro myself

"Then what about me Renn? How do you think I felt? You know you are too selfish to think about your feelings and you haven't thought once of mine? --"

"I did everything I can to help you move on from him and this is what I get?"

Renn tears up from every word I spat at her, I just don't care anymore for god sake.... I'm hurt

"I've been trying my best since the first time we've met Renn and I had to give up most things just to have you, just to be with you ---"

"I'm sorry Renn...I just can't seem to give you up... and I won't" it might sound selfish but that's the truth

I left the room with only anger forming against my head and I felt really betrayed by those two people I trusted the most

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Story updated October 6, 2020

The next update will be on Thursday, October 8, 2020