The Adjacent Room [h.s]

Chapter 39

When I got back, I left a note on the fridge door. It would have just been easier to text him, but the idea of actually having to read his reply seemed too personal, so I left a note. That way I wouldn't have to see his response.

H,

I'm going to Paris tomorrow. Please take care of yourself. If you were wondering, I kept my promise and I'm still wearing the bee necklace. As you said, 14 karat gold for everyday wear. Your fridge is now full too.

I'll call you as soon as I'm home. I love you and I miss you.

I missed him more than I could even comprehend, because it was like he was everywhere but nowhere, yet I just couldn't bring myself to speak to him. I know we need to talk, and I desperately want to, but it all feels too fragile. If I speak, the whole thing might just shatter and I'd rather it be broken and untouched than shattered. For a long time it just felt rocky, but the second Niall opened his mouth, it became broken. If one more person opens their mouth then it might become more than just broken, and I'm not strong enough to let this fall apart more, even if that means just letting it sit in its broken state.

By the time we were at the airport to leave for Paris the next day, the stress of Paris had miraculously started to take over the parts of my mind dedicated to Harry. My anger towards him was finally gone now, just the dull ache, but it was being silenced with the noise of the plane engines and airport anyway.

We're in Paris now, after the 11 hour flight. Our flight left at 2 this morning, and because of the time difference, it's 11pm here now. YSL was kind enough to provide us with a driver to take us from the airport to the hotel, but after his first words, I realise he only speaks French.

'Bienvenue à Paris! Sophie Lawson, Kelli-Anne Lawson et Eleanor Calder, ici avec Yves Saint Laurent? Welcome to Paris! Sophie Lawson, Kelli-Anne Lawson and Eleanor Calder, here with Yves Saint Laurent?

'Absolument, c'est moi.' Absolutely, that's me. I smile, excited to use my French skills but exhausted for a multitude of other reasons. Eleanor and my mom are refreshed after their sleeping on the plane, and currently completely distracted looking around the airport. I, on the other hand, completely failed at sleeping on the plane. The no sleeping thing is starting to become an issue for me, but I'm putting up with it by drinking more coffees than I should. I can't think of anything better than sleeping in a bed with Harry right now, but then that leads to more problems than just not being able to sleep.

'Je comprends. Alors, à l'hôtel? Nous sommes près de la voiture, suivez-moi.' I understand. So, to the hotel? We're close to the car, follow me. He nods, and begins to lead us through Paris airport, Paris-Charles de Gaulle. The airport is designed in a very interesting way, but there's something fascinating about it. As we walk through, I notice people taking photos and videos of us. Neither Eleanor or I are very interested in being filmed right now, but my mom seems to have prepared for the occasion with a big smile, and looks quite thrilled at the situation.

Once we make it to the Ritz Paris, we're taken to our rooms. Each of us have our own room, and it's impossible to believe how well we're being treated. I would've been happy to stay on mattress at the train station, and I really don't think one post on the blog pays for all of this. My room is really only one room with a bed and bathroom, but it's gorgeous. There's a crystal chandelier and a canopy bed in the middle of the room, facing a marble fireplace. The room looks like somewhere fit for royalty, and there's a balcony that opens out to a view of Paris.

I've been to Paris many times with Harry, including when he's toured and when he came for the Dunkirk premiere, but I definitely haven't stayed in a room this nice. If he were here, I can imagine him walking straight over to the balcony and opening the doors, taking a deep breath in and spreading his arms open wide like in the Titanic. He does that whenever we arrive in a new country. I miss him a lot, and I'm so used to being in new countries when he's with me. It feels like I'm a child leaving the nest, as they say.