The Time Before Home

Chapter Twenty-Six

The wailing of ambulance sirens and the clinical, white walls of a hospital spelled the start and the end for us. As we clutched one another and Seb pressed his t-shirt into my bleeding wound, being hauled into safety was a bittersweet kind of feeling.

I wailed uncontrollably into a jumper as the feeling of my brother's absence tore my insides apart. I physically ached as I thought of his face, wondering how easy this all would have been if he'd just lived. This would be celebratory. We would have prevailed. But as ugly, loud sobs kept me awake for hours straight, I struggled to feel the weight lifting off my shoulders.

Separating us was hard for the doctors to manage. It took too long as we were pulled into separate rooms and Violet was taken into surgery to unbreak her twisted leg, leaving us fearful and alone. I barely winced as my shoulder was stitched back together and instead I thought of Finn, wondering how close he had come to joining my brother.

I didn't know what the doctors thought. We told them a tunnel had flooded, that Finn had nearly drowned with Michael. I told them something speared my skin in the madness and Violet weakly insisted that she'd felt her leg snap as the water hit her. We couldn't tell them that a demon latched onto us and destroyed our lives, trying to snatch everything away that we held dear. We couldn't tell them that perhaps gods were real, and we could be protected if only we asked for help.

We couldn't tell them anything. So as day turned into night, we discharged ourselves from the hospital against the wishes of the doctors, helping Violet into the taxi with her cast as we sat in the back silently, leaning on one another.

"You kids seem close!" the man driving had jested limply, but we couldn't find it within ourselves to reply. We thanked him quietly as we made our way back to the lodge, falling into the living room together and sitting in silence. Kira began to cry first, shaking her head as she implored us with her eyes.

"What if we'd asked for help sooner-"

"They wouldn't have come," I whispered hoarsely, remembering Theron's words, "Michael... Michael made us worthy of saving."

Finn winced at that, finally looking over at me. He hadn't dared say a word in the taxi, nor hold any kind of gaze in my direction. "Allison," he whispered, "I... I'm so sorry."

I knew it wasn't his fault. Rationally, I knew it. But I'd heard him utter the words which sent my brother to his death, and I'd pleaded with him not to. I knew he had to. I knew it. But he'd lied about being the chosen one, and maybe if we had just known then my brother would be alive...

So I said nothing, holding my head in my hands as I tried to imagine what I'd tell my Mum. My Dad. I knew they would have gotten the phone call by now, and I'd pressed the red button on mine like a coward. I couldn't deal with it yet. Not yet.

"It's over," Violet said quietly, "It's... it's so fucking awful But Vika - he's gone."

She was right. For the first time in years, I couldn't feel eyes on me anymore. I didn't glance into the corner of the room, certain I would see a rotting corpse grinning at me. I felt terrified, on edge. I didn't doubt I would have nightmares for years to come. But for the first time, it felt as though my nightmares just might not bleed into my real life.

"Michael did that," I whispered, feeling my face fall. Eyes landed on me, miserable and broken.

Kira nodded, lifting her glass. "We would not be here without that boy," she said, voice thick with tears, "None of us. He... he gave everything so we could have something."

The tears were hot, cascading down my face as everyone lifted their glasses into the air, right into the middle of the circle. There was a gap next to me where my brother was supposed to sit, and it ripped my heart in two.

"The best man I've ever known," Seb whispered, eyes on mine, "Michael Valentine."

"Michael Valentine," we chorused, holding a drink up to my brother.

***

"I've called the RV company," Seb said quietly, slipping into my room after we'd all said our goodnights, "Don't worry about ringing them, alright? It's all done."

"It's in Michael's name," I whispered, remembering with a sinking heart, "Thanks... thanks for doing that."

Seb didn't say anything, appearing to be on the verge of tears as he tenderly reached for my hand, perched on the edge of the bed. We sat like that for a minute, holding one another as we had done so many times up to now. It was hard to believe we couldn't exchange a single word when this had all started.

"Al'..." he whispered, expression vulnerable. When I looked into his eyes, they were fearful, honest. I tilted my head, murmuring his name. He gazed at me, taking in a shaky breath. "Did... did you mean it? When..." he trailed off, clearing his throat, "When you said you love me?"

My heart hammered so noisily I thought perhaps I could hear it, watching as Seb caught himself and shook his head quickly, moving to stand. "Sorry, I'm sorry, that was stupid-"

"No!" I halted him, grabbing his arm and yanking him downwards. He fell onto the bed with me and we were face to face, locked into the dance we'd found ourselves in so many times. The air sizzled around us as the universe ached for me to reach for him, to grab him. If everything else was wrong, this was right. This one thing. "Addie?" I asked quietly, watching as he cast his eyes down.

"I... I broke it off. Before we came. I knew I'd be giving it up anyway and..." he held his eyes closed, "She... she wasn't you. I needed something and I latched onto her and it was so, so wrong..." he trailed off because his face had twisted into the purest pain and when his eyes open, they were alight. Staring into my eyes, the room singed with the tension, leaving my stomach twisting inside my body. "I never stopped loving you," he whispered, causing my breathing to become more erratic.

"I don't think I was myself for one minute when I left," I told him, bunching the covers in my fists, "I... I think the reason that my sacrifice was rejected - when I said I'd leave - was because leaving would hurt more than staying this time," I whispered, looking him straight in the eye, "I... I meant what I said."

The space closed between us as we moved at the same time, Seb's hand on the back of my head as he pulled me in for the first kiss we were allowed. It was impossible to describe the feeling as we held onto one another, lips moving as though we would never quite manage to get enough of one another. His breathing was ragged and I could barely concentrate as he wound his arms around me, holding me as though I would break. When I found myself on his lap and fighting my skin heating up, he pulled away momentarily.

"I can't believe I get to have you," he murmured, staring up at me in wonder. I couldn't believe he wanted me as we shed the evil following us around, allowing us this. Finally allowing me to trace kisses across his collarbone as he moaned underneath me, allowing him to drag his hands up my thighs as I whispered breathlessly in his ear. But right as I moved to tug his shirt off, he held my wrists in his hands.

"What-"

"Allison," he said, pupils blown and lips the deepest of red, "I... I'm not letting this happen, not like this."

"Like what-"

He tilted my chin, shifting my weight so we were looking at one another. "Like this," he said tenderly, pushing a piece of hair out of my face, "I... I want you. A lot. And I love you and god willing we have all the time in the world. You need to grieve and I need to be here for that. I... I want to hear what you did in New York. I want to hear what you want to do here. This isn't some small thing for me," he whispered, "I've wanted you since you left, and now you're back. We're doing this right."

I felt the tears as I nodded silently, wrapping my arms around Seb Morrison as he tugged me into him, sighing into my hair. We fell asleep like that, waking up over and over again in the night to our own nightmares on repeat.

But this time, instead of waking up alone, I woke up in his arms. At one point, Violet hobbled in with Kira in tow, all of us basking in the darkness of 2am and the absence of evil. Not long after, Finn poked his head round the door, looking nervous.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I can go-"

But I halted him, pausing as I looked at the boy who wouldn't hurt a fly. I thought of the times he patched my wounds as we flew off our bikes as children and how he'd fallen for me quietly, refusing to step in and interrupt anything between Seb and me. I saw his eyes bright as we'd spend our days at the beach and his face crumple as anybody around him got hurt. Finn was a victim of circumstance. He was no more responsible for Michael's death than I was.

"Come in," I told him, "There's a massive space on this bed with your name on it."

And I didn't think I'd ever seen him look so relieved. As we piled on the bed together, I realised there would be one day where we'd have to stop sleeping together and perhaps learn how to function without being in each other's pockets. But that was wasn't today, and so I relished in the feeling of being here with my friends, and not under the watchful eye of hell.

As we fell asleep - probably into years worth of nightmares - I smiled. Not because I was happy and not because my chest wasn't hurting with an intensity I'd never felt before, but because there was hope. Tomorrow would hurt and the months which followed would ache with my brother's absence, but he'd opened up the world for us. He did that.

And I'd never forget that.