The Time Before Home

Chapter Nineteen

I found it often snowed when tragedy struck. Two years back when we were first tainted by evil, a sea of white fluttered down from the heavens, raining onto our heads as our lives started over. When I was fifteen, I failed my first exam to the flurry of a blizzard outdoors, keeping me distracted. Now, as I stood inside a house which didn't really feel like mine, I gazed out of the window to a rare October snow, lining the floor with a carpet of white.

The silence was deafening. It had been a week since Theron's death and after the screaming and crying and trying to figure out why, life had settled into a quiet sadness. The eccentric man with the affinity for chocolate coins hadn't deserved to be shut in a room with fire and evil, but we had ensured he had. The thought, as it often did, made me want to fall to the floor and sob, slamming my fists into any surface I could find.

I settled for sighing, sinking down into the sofa. The last week had been quiet. We'd actually briefly wondered if Theron had somehow freed us from this curse with his sacrifice, but then Violet had awoken with a scream and it became clear that no, hell was just busy. It meant I felt at least vaguely okay staying in the house by myself for an hour while everybody went to class. Michael thought Finn was with me, Finn thought Kira was here. Seb thought Michael was keeping me company. I lied to everyone - I just wanted to be alone. If a demon crawled across the ceiling and tried to pull the life from my body, so be it.

It was with that thought I heaved myself upwards at a ding sounding from the kitchen, heading to the cooker and pulling out the scalding tray. I let it cool for a little while, pulling out plates and setting up, adding finishing touches and then, finally placing it on the window sill backing out onto the woods.

A pork pie, surrounded by chocolate coins and decorated with a single flower. I held my breath as I pushed it towards the window, trying my very best to hold it together.

"Thank you, Theron," I whispered into the midday air, "Finally baked that pie for you."

It was a little burned, but I had been doing laps of the house, trying to figure out if I was alone. I was sure he'd sink his teeth into it, pretending it was fine. Or maybe he'd outwardly tell me it was trash, laughing as he spat it into the bin. I didn't know him well enough to figure that out, but I knew him well enough to know whatever it was would make me laugh. Some people simply didn't deserve to die, and he was certainly one of them.

When a door slammed it sent me flying, loudly dropping the tray I'd been holding. A cold rush washed over my body but a familiar voice called in a hurry, sudden and urgent.

"Don't freak out! It's just me!"

Seb. My shoulders sagged in relief as I moved into the living room, sending him a small smile as he entered. As time passed, I'd started to think things might never go back to the way they were between us. We were older now, after all. The air was always alight with something and this was the first time we'd been alone together since the kiss. It terrified and excited me all at once.

"I thought you had class?" I asked, brushing through my hair with my hands. He shook his head idly, looking around with a frown.

"Are you alone?"

I grimaced, "Maybe, but-"

"Allison!" he cried in shock, "Do- do you not learn? It smashed your car into a tree-"

"Technically I did that," I argued but he threw his hands up, frustrated.

"Do you want to die?" he asked, but the answer to that was a little easier. Or at least, it should have been. As I murmured a quiet 'no', surprise tears sprung to my eyes as I found myself gulping, hurriedly turning away from Seb.

"Al'- Al'?" he moved over to me, "Shit, I'm being an arse again, aren't I? God, I'm sorry."

I shook my head as he steered me gently to the sofa, sitting us both down. My stomach jumped at the contact, but I found the words.

"No," I said, furiously scrubbing tears from my eyes, "It's not you, I promise. It's so dumb, I barely knew Theron... but like... it just feels so awful."

Seb shook his head subtly, rubbing slow circles on my back with his thumb. "You were alone for a long time," he said in a whisper, "Years. It's okay to feel like you bonded with someone. Even a little bit."

"I'm glad you weren't alone," I said honestly, daring to look up at him. His expression was soft, worried. He looked a little sad at that, though. He didn't speak for a few moments.

"I felt alone," he finally whispered, head dipping. My stomach churned and instinctively, I found myself reaching for him, wanting to give him something. Comfort, the knowledge I was here now if he wanted that. I pulled him into a slow hug, relaxing as his hands wound around my body. We stayed that way for too long, breathing into the silence as a TV buzzed in the distance.

"I wish I could fix this for us," Seb murmured into my hair, so quietly I almost thought I might have imagined it. Tears still sped down my cheeks, racing one another to freedom.

"I wish I knew how."

Seb pulled away slightly, but not fully, so our heads lay next to each other, cheeks touching. I swore he might be crying, even a little bit, because it felt as though my tears were mixing with sadness that wasn't mine. When moments passed and he tilted his head ever so slightly so his lips grazed my cheeks, my heart rate increased tenfold. Instead of running, I leaned into it, breathing becoming shallow. His fingers continued to dance across my back, but it didn't feel lazy anymore.

The air was charged with something bigger than the both of us and perhaps bigger than the hell banging down our door. When my fingers traced the exposed skin underneath his shirt, I felt him start slightly at the contact, tensing for only a moment before his lips dipped into my neck, leaving him breathing into my skin.

"I shouldn't be doing this," he whispered, leaving me shivering. I nodded, voice hoarse.

"I know."

Somehow, that translated into him tilting his head a little too far, crossing the line as he left a light kiss on my neck, drawing a gasp from my lips. I gripped him a little tighter, more so when he moved his lips closer to mine, getting a little braver with each passing second. It wasn't long before he was hovering in front of me, the most intense air suffocating us. My heart pounded and my stomach did flips, hands shaking as he stayed there, forehead pressed to mine.

"I need you," I whispered to him, words leaving my lips without permission. It did something to his eyes as they burned up in front of me, suddenly full of raw intensity. It snapped the string and he closed the distance, pressing his lips to mine as I gripped onto him, hot tears still falling down my face as we clutched at one another for dear life. We didn't stop for air as we fell deeper into the sofa, lips moving as his hands held my waist, firm and deliberate.

"I shouldn't-" he said desperately but he still did, the kiss deepening as I clutched at him, body alight. He moaned deeply as I pulled him into me, breaths coming out more shallow as we tumbled backwards and suddenly I was on top of him, being pulled down as his hands found their way under the hem of my shirt, hot and frantic. I wasn't in control of myself as we moved like that, kissing desperately with hands on skin and right as he was about to yank my shirt from my body and my nails dug into his back, he stilled, breathing heavily.

"Seb?" I panted, pushing my hair from my face. His eyes met mine like a deer in the headlights as his eyes raked down my body, the lust clear in his face. It wasn't just that, though. I really didn't think this was just about that.

"I... " he held his eyes closed, leaving me cold as his hands moved from my skin to his own face, "I'm not this guy. Fuck, I'm not this guy."

He was right. I nodded, swallowing as I removed myself from him, tugging my shirt back down and attempting to steady my erratic breathing. The room around us was alright and so were we, but we were wrong. He knew it and I knew it, guiltily sinking back into the sofa as our skin burned from the contact.

"I can't keep away from you," he whispered, gaze trained on his lap. Sincerity danced in his eyes and I was forced to nod, finally wiping the tears away.

"Yep," I laughed through the feeling of loss, "I get it."

So when the door opened and our friends flooded in, we were forced to straighten ourselves out, putting distance between us as we greeted them with as much normality as we could. In his hand, my brother clutched the piece of paper we'd been avoiding, right up until this very moment.

"It's time," Michael murmured, "This thing... it attacked Finn."

When I glanced up in surprise at Finn, my mouth dropped open. His eyes had dark rings around them as though he hadn't slept and on his arm, just visible underneath his shirt, was a bandage. Seb leapt upwards, heading for his friend.

"Shit, Finn- what happened?"

Finn shrugged with a smile, "Ah, you should see the other guy," he teased, "Honestly, I only got a little burned, it's nothing."

"Let me see?" I asked, "Does it need anything?"

Finn shook his head quickly, "No, no, it's fine. Honestly, I just want to forget about it."

When I glanced up at Kira and saw a similar look of tiredness on her face, accompanied by a series of deep scratches on her hands, I realised I'd maybe gotten lucky in the last couple of days. We hadn't seen each other much, as schedules meant we passed each other by a bit, but even in different bedrooms I swore I'd heard the odd yelp in the night. I'd put it down to my imagination or restless demons torturing me, but it seemed my friends had been experiencing what I hadn't

"Alright, back to sleeping in the living room together," Michael said simply, "At least until we can do this... ritual. Thing."

"I think we need to hurry up with it," Violet murmured, "Everything slowed down a bit, but now..."

"I feel eyes on me all the time again," Kira whispered, rubbing her arms. I could see it. I could see evil wearing us down, stealing our sanity away. I'd only had a few bad dreams, but my friends hadn't. Perhaps Vika felt the car crash was enough for me, for now.

"Okay, first thing's first," Seb said authoritatively, "No more hiding how bad this is getting for each of us. Finn, you clearly haven't slept. Kira, you're shaking-"

"One of us is 'the chosen one,'" Kira said in quotation marks, "I don't think anybody is gonna volunteer that things are getting shitty for them-"

"Forget that!" Michael exclaimed, "Okay, cool, one of us might get spared and... and have to decide who dies. Cool. That's not for right now. Right now what's important is honesty and staying as a unit. Alright? How bad are things getting?"

Kira exhaled, shoulders slumping, "He's in my room every night," she whispered, eyes full of tears, "He watches me, hour after hour. He... he grabbed me."

"I've been alright," Violet whispered, clutching on to Kira's hand, "I just... I dunno. I hear things. Sometimes."

"Alright, we're doing this stupid ritual," Michael sighed, defeated, "I know we're scared-"

"I just don't want to die doing it," Finn laughed quietly, shrugging, "Feels like... feels like everything will just go wrong. Like maybe it's safer just to keep going, keep praying..."

"It's not," Kira whispered, holding her eyes closed, "It showed me something. I'm not marked, don't look at me like that! But... it kept whispering over and over again that it was going to burn us. Then, I saw..." she squeezed her eyes closed.

"Saw what?" Finn pressed. Kira breathed in, struggling.

"This house. On fire, crumbling. Everything was silent, apart from us. Screaming. It was a warning."

I slumped back into the sofa, miserable and confused. Why was it doing all this and not just killing us? Were we still too strong? Was it still hoping we'd sacrifice ourselves as Theron had said at the beginning? Was it just trying to scare us so intensely we'd turn on one another and it could take all of us at once?

"Alright," Michael said determinedly, "I'm starting to think this doesn't end well for us. Theron said that Vika struggles when we're together and strong, so that's our main focus. I feel like he'd have already killed all of us if that wasn't the case."

"Why's it eased off so much for some of us?" I whispered to my brother. He shrugged.

"I don't know- maybe Theron's sacrifice for us was like a bullet to this demon or something. If all it's managing to do now is scare the shit out of Kira and Finn, maybe it needed time to regroup. Honestly, I don't know. I study bones, not demonology." He smiled weakly, looking apologetic. We all just nodded, accepting we knew nothing of what we needed to. If what Theron had said was true, I believed it. The demon had weakened temporarily with his sacrifice, but now he was likely coming back angrier, more determined. The time was now.

Michael knew it too as he unwrapped the paper, finally reading what we hadn't dared. "Theron died for this," my brother said quietly, "Which means whatever it says, we do. Deal?"

We all hesitated before one by one putting our hands inside the circle, holding one another. When we raised them, we murmured 'deal.'

"To end the reign of suffering," my brother read from the pages, "From the puppetmaster, named Vika thousands of years ago. Weak only to heart and satisfied only by sacrifice, torture and death, the gods devised a ritual for humans to free them of the curse."

"Well, shit," Kira murmured, echoing my sentiment.

"Vika left uncontested will slaughter any group within..." Michael trailed off, hands going slack. We all spoke over one another, asking what the problem was. He swallowed, steeling himself. "Two months." Panic echoed around the room as we all tried to work out how long this had been going on for. A week before I arrived, and I'd been here around a month. We were over halfway through.

"This all makes no sense," Violet said desperately, "He just watched us for two years-"

"It says that too," Michael said, face pale, "Vika is a hunter, a torturer. It says... it says he was probably off attaching himself to other groups, and just... just returned to us for fun. Then when he was ready to destroy us, came back. Properly."

"Okay," Seb nodded, "Okay. So what do we do?"

"It's a ritual, like Theron said," Michael's eyes scanned over the page, "It... it's sacrifice, Theron said that too - that Vika is all about sacrificing love and... and good for his entertainment. That's what it says here, that the ritual involves us all sacrificing something huge to us, big enough that Vika is satisfied without having our bodies."

"But we don't..." Violet waved her arms, "Die?"

"It... it lists offering ourselves up as an option," Michael murmured, "It's the only way to guarantee he'll leave us alone. That it's enough of a sacrifice to placate him."

"Then..." Seb said slowly, "This really will all just end? If one of us-"

"No," we all chorused at once, "No human sacrifices."

"The idea is to live," Michael said, eyes turning back to the page, "That's why Theron gave this to us, so we could. It says if we offer up enough of ourselves to Vika, that the gods will offer us backing, and... and Vika will relent. But we bind ourselves into a blood contract..." Michael trailed off, rubbing his head, "This is insane. This is all insane."

"Give up what?" I pleaded, "If not us, then what?"

"Love," Michael said, emotionless, "It says love is the strongest sacrifice. We'd... we'd have to give up our love for someone. Leave them. It says... happiness. Ditching material possessions, showing our commitment. Family. Giving up family. Something that will hurt us for Vika's sake, and showing commitment so the gods can... intervene. The gods. Jesus."

"Can't they just intervene anyway?" Kira grumbled, "I mean, fuck. We're drowning here!"

"We need to do it," Finn shook his head, voice strained, "It's either this or we die."

"It says the sacrifice cannot be false," Miachel told us, "That it can't be something we think sounds like it would work. It needs to break us. Vika needs to witness us suffering enough that losing us won't be a real loss to him."

"And this will work?" Violet whispered, voice unsteady. Michael nodded.

"I believe Theron. He... he wanted this for us. And I think with only a month to go till... well, we're at 'last resort.'"

The room felt as though it was closing in on me as I poured over what I was supposed to do. It had become clear if we left this to keep hurtling down the hill, a hellish monster would tear us to pieces. I'd started to believe he hated us so intensely that none of us were the chosen one, and we'd all perish within four short weeks. If there was a way for us to make a sacrifice large enough that it would placate a demon, we had to. We simply had to.

"I don't know what to give up," Kira muttered, looking up at us with confused eyes. We all stayed silent for a moment, before Michael spoke, choked up and hushed.

"Just... think of what you love. What you want. What it would break you to lose... and be willing to lose it."

As I realised my life would never be the same, I sank into the seat, holding my eyes closed. When I opened them again, I was still inside my nightmare. But this time, maybe it had an expiry date.