Journey Through The Chakras

Joy

*Warning for character death*

Save for his pale blue tattoo running across his shaved head, Aang was completely covered by his emerald green blanket. He was alone and preferred it that way. Every time he tried to expel the air from his lungs, a forceful sob escaped out of his control. His cheeks and the covers were wet from his tears. He felt like he never was going to breathe again. He became aware of the loud, throbbing in his chest. His cries became hoarse, a marked improvement from the huge, silent cries that permeated the room some time before. He didn't know how long he had been in the bed crying uncontrollably. It felt like hours to him and he wanted to be closed off for as long as possible. He was not in his bed and this was not his room. The unnecessarily big room at the Earth King's palace in Ba Sing Sei did nothing to make him feel better. He had lost his last human friend from his time before the War.

Aang knew somewhere deep in the logical part of his brain that Bumi would die sooner rather than later. He died in his sleep at the age of 123, not in a war or a battle or even in a natural disaster. This was supposed to be the most expected way to die. But another part of his brain, the irrational part, wanted Bumi to live forever. He sensed his guilt and selfishness. He loves Katara and her family and everyone he has met in this lifetime, but a big part of him believed that he deserved to have someone who knew him before he was the Avatar. He thought that for being something he never wanted to be, and facing all of the trauma he had faced, that he deserved one friend to remain. He felt even more terrible when his mind flashed to seeing Bumi's casket. For all of the people who have died, this felt like the worst. He didn't actually have to see any of the monks or his other friends from the past die. Going to his funeral, this made it real. He groaned as the door slowly creaked open.

A very pregnant Katara walked in and closed the door. "Aang," she whispered as she sat on their bed. "Katara, please, I don't want to talk about it," he said hoarsely. "I'm not trying to make you talk about it, you'll talk about it when you're ready. I didn't talk to anyone about my mom for a month after she died. No, I came in so you could feel the baby. The baby started kicking," Katara whispered. His breathing sped up as he felt his heart flutter wildly. He pulled the cover away from his face, looking at Katara with red, stingy eyes. "Really, the baby is kicking? Seriously?" a smile crept across his lips but faltered quickly. Noticing this change in expression, Katara hesitantly asked, "Does this not make you happy?" "No! No, of course not. Katara, I-I felt guilty for feeling happy right then. I'm excited that the baby is kicking, but is it wrong to feel happy and someone you love just died?" Aang asked. His wife placed her hands on top of his, resting them warmly. "There's nothing wrong with that. I remember a young monk once telling me to let my anger out, and then let it go. I think the same could be said for grieving. I see that you are in pain and I know that you are angry that he's gone, but only feeling angry and sad won't make you feel better. Find your balance and focus on the now. Take the time to let it out, and then let it go. I truly believe Bumi would agree with that. I don't think he would want you to feel like you can't be happy again," she spoke softly. For the first time since she came in, Aang met his wife's eyes.

"Katara... you're right. I was, am, angry. I felt like I deserved to have my friend stay with me forever. That's not fair to him and that's not right," Aang stated quietly. After a few moments of silence, he kissed his wife on the lips gently. Breaking away from the kiss, he asked calmly, "Can I feel our baby?" Beaming a big smile, she took his hand and placed it on her stomach. He gasped loudly. She noticed color and a smile returning to his face for what seemed like the first time in days. "That was the most amazing thing I have ever felt. I'm so happy to have you...and the baby. Katara, have you thought about any names?" Aang asked. She felt the light return to her and her husband, enveloping them in happiness. "Ummmm, I have had a few but none that I love. How about you?" she asked. He made a crooked smile and asked, "What do you think about Bumi?" "Aang...I think that's a great idea," she said with tears beginning to fall from her eyes.

*1 month later*

Katara cradled Bumi's head and passed him carefully to Aang, making sure his blanket remained snug. He had been waiting to hold his son for so long, but wanted her to spend all of the time she needed with him. Looking into Bumi's eyes, he detected a pull that he had only felt one other time in his life. This emotion appears to be similar to how he feels about Katara, but it was more protective. He knew he never wanted to let him go. He was in love with everything about his son, from his pale blue eyes to his unruly brown hair. He looked from Bumi to his beautiful, exhausted wife. He didn't know how he could ever thank her. "Katara, remember when I held the baby after Serpent's Pass when Appa was missing?" Aang asked. His weary wife looked at her husband, smiling with the memory dancing through her head. "Of course I do! Is this bringing back memories?" she asked. "Yeah, I remember you telling me to not stop caring. For a time about a month ago, I almost did. But I see love and the love of everyone I care about when I look at Bumi. You reminded me of what's important, Katara. What matters is now," he whispered glancing back to his son.

Aang walked over to his wife and kissed her lips, "I love you so much, Katara." She returned his kiss before breaking away, "I love you, too. I'm happy and so tired, I could fall asleep right now. Can you bring Bumi out to everyone? I know they're excited to see him." Giving a smile to his wife, he walked outside the tent into the chilly, autumn air. Hakoda, Sokka, and Suki ran over to Aang. The gust of wind, smiles, and excited murmurs almost knocked him over. "Now, THAT, is a Water Tribe baby. Gonna be a warrior someday like me, I can tell," Sokka said, filled with excitement. Sokka, Aang, and Hakoda laughed, surrounded by the feeling of hope which they had experienced only sparsely in their lives.

Aang gave a crooked smile and warning, "Sokka, I'm happy with that, just no meat please." Pouting with his arms folded across his chest, "Aww Aang, come on, that's not fair! Water Tribe babies need meat!" Suki elbowed Sokka in the ribs, quickly ending his rant to the delight of Aang and Hakoda. "Alright, alright. Can I at least show him how to use a boomerang?" Sokka pleaded with his brother-in-law. Aang sighed, his smile not falling for a minute, "Sure, Sokka. Just a wait a few years, okay?" Sokka jumped in exburenance, hugging his father and his wife in tandem. Aang felt the joy he had thought he lost a month ago. He reminded himself that love never goes away because of its energy, which is then reborn into new love. He was so grateful for the family he has now. He felt weightless.