𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐄𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐋𝐄

To my little boy

" It was what lex- your mother wanted" Kade tries to explain.

"So my mother wanted you to leave me in an unknown place with no source of comfort scared and alone?" Jace shoots back rhetorically.

Kade looks away with guilt and shame. " I love... loved your mother more than I will ever love anyone in my life. Leaving her there with all of those circle members, knowing there wasn't a good change she would make it out, was the hardest thing I will ever have to do."

"Then why did you?" Jace slams his hands down on the desk furiously. "How could you leave the woman you love to die!"

Kade stays silent as he watches the boy he raised for six years slowly unravel in front of him.

"Every memory I have of her is of her laughing or smiling, taking care of me." He begins to scream, feeling an onslaught of emotions wash over him. "Or with you. She was your best friend! Your parabatai! You just left her." He finishes by shoving Kade backwards into the wall.

Finally having enough Kade shoves the boy back with strength rivaling his own. "You think I wanted to leave her! You think I didn't want to fight beside her whether we died or not!"

Seeing the boys face slightly soften he whispers. "I did it for you Jace. We did it for you."

"Well you should've let me die then." Jace coldly says before beginning to stomp out of the office.

"You don't get to act like a spoiled brat!" Kade yells at the boy. "Your mother did everything she could to protect you! She sacrificed everything!"

Hearing the shouting Clary and Alec begin to March towards the office but they're stopped by Maryse. "No." She shakes her head. "He needs to hear this."

They both look at her in disbelief but Maryse can only think about Alexia Herondale in that moment. She was one of the most fierce, protective, and loyal people she had ever met. She remembers how frantic Kade was when he came to the institute all those years ago. She remembers telling Robert that they had to help him, but the man was too stubborn. Always jealous of his younger brothers skills.

Alexia Herondale didn't deserve what happened to her. And Jace was unfortunately caught in the cross fire of it all.

"You should be working your ass off everyday to work for the life she made sure you had. You think that if she had a choice she wouldn't be here? You think that you wouldn't be dead if you had any other mother?" Kade finishes.

When Jace makes no effort to respond Kade scoffs and mumbles under his breath. "Just like your mother..."

He walks towards Jace roughly pushing an envelope into the boys chest before storming out of the room to calm himself down.

Jace stays frozen for a few moments before looking at the envelope in his hands. On the front it's addressed to my little boy and his breath hitches in his throat.

With his hands shaking he slowly peels the paper out of the package. Hesitantly opening it.

To my little boy,
If you're reading this as a teenager or as an adult then you've gotten your memories back. I don't know if that's a relief or a burden to you, but I hope that the life you've lived has brought you more joy and love than this one has. When I first found out I was pregnant with you, albeit after getting over the bad circumstances, I was over joyed. I vowed to protect you with every drop of fight I had in me and more.

There's no easy way to say goodbye to your child but it's easy to say that I love you. That no matter what happens I will always be proud of you. You may be angry and confused on why I willingly let everything happen. So let me explain, Valentine still believes you have demon blood in you. He still thinks you're one of his experiments, but I can promise you that you're not. He wanted you more than he wanted me at that point, he would never stop chasing you unless he at least had me. Never blame yourself for my choices, protecting you was my greatest accomplishment alongside having you.

P.s. please don't be mad at Kade, what I asked of him was something no one should ever be asked. It was too much but it had to be done. He loved me, more than a parabatai. But your protection was more important to me than anything, no matter how much I loved him back. He raised you for six years, try to bring yourself to forgive him.

Try to bring it upon yourself to forgive me.

Love,
Your mother.

Jace harshly rubs the tears off of his cheek before running out of the office to search for Kade, ignoring everyone's calls from behind him.

His search is quickly over when he finds Kade rapidly hitting a punching bag. Kade instantly stops the punching bag in mid air and looks towards the boy with a raised brow.

He's shocked to his core when the boy suddenly pulls him into a hug. "Thank you." Jace whispers into the mans ear. "Have you read this before?" Jace questions after he backs up.

"No. She made me promise only to let you read it." Kades brows furrowed in confusion.

Jace sends him a sympathetic look before slowly handing the man the letter. "It's been fourteen years, I think you're free to break the promise."

"I can't." He immediately shakes his head and tries handing the letter back.

"She talks about you in there." Jace says. "And I think you're going to want to read it." Before walking away to give the man a moment.

Kade lets out a sigh before slowly bringing the letter up to his eyesight. He skims the letter before feeling the air drain from his lungs.

P.s. please don't be mad at Kade, what I asked of him was something no one should ever be asked. It was too much but it had to be done. He loved me, more than a parabatai. But your protection was more important to me than anything, no matter how much I loved him back.

A lone tear falls down his cheek and he smiles sadly to himself and whispers out loud. "She loved me."