The Serpent's Enigma

37 | Anything in the World

She shot him an annoyed look. "I know that I've been fairly obvious about it, but could you at least give me a moment to say it directly?"

Cal tilted his head, confused. "Alright...?"

Gigi took his hand, entwining their fingers, before burying her face in his shirt. She took a deep breath before gazing up at him. "I love you, Sire."

"...What?"

"I never got the chance to answer you when you left. I know it's supposed to be more romantic, but I've wanted to get it off my chest all week."

She loved him. She loved him, but at the moment where he's supposed to rejoice, he felt a familiar sensation trying to hold him back, binding him to that godforsaken place.

He was soiled, damaged.

"Wait a minute, Gi—"

"After I recover, I'll figure out something better." She ended, kissing his knuckles. But after seeing the look on his face, she concluded that it wasn't the answer he was expecting. "...You don't look very pleased."

He shook his head calmly. "Gi... I don't deserve that yet."

"What do you mean 'yet'?"

Cal chuckles bitterly. "I have not earned it. I am not a very good husband... I've hurt you before. I dismissed you on our wedding night, I ignored you for weeks. I have not given you what you wanted, I couldn't even kiss you..."

Gigi's expression quickly twisted into a scowl. "Sire, it disheartens me to know that you think so shallowly of me... Do you think that those things would repel me? I said I'd wait for you, wasn't that enough for you?"

"No it's not you, Gi, it's always been me. I didn't come into this marriage all in one piece. I projected my damage onto you. You have no idea how many times during our marriage have I thought that you deserve someone better."

"You need to stop acting like you know what is best for me! It's not up to you to decide how I feel! How dare you to even wish me off with someone else, while all I ever want is you!" She screamed, and for a second it took a toll on her, as she reached to clutch the bandage around her head.

"Sire, if you truly have my best interests at heart, you need to hear me out. If you really meant to look out for me, then you should start by listening to me!"

Cal didn't say anything, as he knew anything that came out of his mouth would only make things worse. He locked his gaze with hers, signalling that she had his full attention.

"That first night I thought I had made a terrible mistake, that I had disgusted you so much that you would never sleep with me again. The weeks after that I thought that you hated me. You barely spoke to me, and you couldn't even bear looking at me. For a moment when I had given up, I was so happy and relieved to have found a friend in Junior. It was a lonely time."

"I admit, I had given up initially. I thought if you hated me, then I would leave you to your business and try to make do on my own. But as I spent time with Junior I kept seeing you as well, and gradually you seemed to warm up to me. You would smile and talk, and you weren't so cold as before. I kept telling myself that it was foolish of me to hope things had changed, but I treasured every single moment we spent together, no matter how brief. Sometimes I wished you would kiss and embrace me. Sometimes I just wanted you to hold my hand."

"It would lighten up my day, just seeing you smile. My heart beats faster whenever I'm with you. I stayed up at night craving for the warmth of your skin."

"There were times when I wanted to touch you and express my feelings for you in a more intimate manner but I thought, no, he didn't like it last time. What if he hates you this time? And I could never be too sure whether you actually loved me, whether you really care about me or were just toying with my feelings. You were a mystery. A mystery that I couldn't seem to unravel. Sometimes mysteries are fun but after so long you get really tired solving them."