All Things Mortal! (The Cruel Prince One shots/Fanfic)

Chapter 4 : I'm so punny!

(A/N)       

What happend to Jude at the end of Wicked king

wait for it ... SHE GOT THRONE AWAY!  (*cringes*)

There are 2 main types of people in this world. The type that laughs at puns, and the types that just makes this (-_-)  face. I'm the special type that makes bad puns and regrets it after. And now I regret making the weird pun metioned above. Comment down which type you are, and also any other puns you randomly wanna share, I'll enjoy reading them ;)

One more pun before we start:

Jurdan talking politics:-

Jude: Cardan, What kind of government do you think Elfhame should have?

Cardan: *winks* A Jude-iciary. Get it?

Jude: ...  

                                   ***************************************

"Welcome everyone to 'Cardan reacts to all things mortal!" This is your host, The idiotic King of Elfhame, Cardan Greenbriar!" I say gesturing to Cardan, who grins proudly at the camera. "Jude, my dear?" He asks me, "If you call me an idiotic king, then are you my idiotic queen?" 

I scowl, "Are you calling me idiotic?" He gasps, backing away from me, "I would never call you an idiot Jude, im just trying to subtly remind the audience that your'e my Queen." His lips quirk to one side in a sly half-smile, immediately making me grin. I sigh, irritated at myself for smiling at him and say, "You're reaaaally gonna like today, and i'm gonna hate it so much." 

"Well then lets get right into it!" He says exictedly, sitting down on his chair. I groan and sit down next to him, letting my head flop onto his chest. He looks at me questioningly, slightly patting my hair, his long fingers brushing through it, "What is it darling?" 

I scoff at the endearment. "Nothing," I say, "i'm just cherishing these last moments of peace before I tell you something i'm going to regret for the rest of my life" 

"That makes me more exicted for what you have in store for me today!" Cardan says, gently pushing me off him. I pick up the little flash cards and point them at him, "I want you to keep your mouth shut when i'm gonna explain this. No. Laughing." He looks at me innocently, zipping his mouth and throwing the imaginary key away.

"Today, we are gonna be looking at, Puns!" I say with fake enthusiam. I slightly smile at the memory of the first time I was introduced to puns. Oak had made a new friend in school who loved to make stupid puns. And from then I had to endure the tourture of new and even more idiotic puns everyday by Oak.

Cardan looks at me, "Puns? they dont sound like somthing you would hate." I raised my eyebrows at him, "You dont even know what puns are Cardan." He narrows his eyes, and then shrugs, "Then tell me what they are."

I look at the definition I found on google and read it out, "Puns, also called paronomasia, is a form of word play that exploits multiple meanings of a term, or of similar-sounding words, for an intended humorous or rhetorical effect. These ambiguities can arise from the intentional use of homophonic, homographic, metonymic, or figurative language."

I glance at Cardan and burst out laughing, his expression was priceless! He looked so baffled, the confusion almost comical on his face. "What?" he asks, "I seriously did not understand a word you said."

"I told you that you're really gonna like puns," I tell him. Cardan looks at me like i'm crazy, "You sounded like Noggel," he says, gesuturing with his arms, "using big words that makes no sense" I laugh at him as he pouts, "Please explain it to me in a way I can understand."