Down For The Count

I'm Trying

But Sebastian quite literally picked out a can of peas for Vanessa's Mother's Day present. That was the only thing that made him stop crying. Which...is a little ironic that that's her present because Vanessa hates peas. But I'm pretty sure Sebastian could give her a stick and she'd adore it.

"You're not actually getting her peas as a present...are you?" I asked, watching as Lin picked up two cans and put them in the cart.

"Oh, but we are. Isn't that right, Seb?" Lin asked the small boy in his arms.

Seb wiped at his eyes, his face still stained with tears, but now a big smile was on his face. "Peas for Mommy."

"Peas for Mommy." Lin repeated, looking over at me. "Trust the process, Paisley.

"Right." I laughed a little, not wanting to ask anymore questions about the can of peas. Vanessa's reaction tomorrow would be priceless.

We continued to walk a little, Lin stopping every now and then to pick up a few more things for Vanessa other than just a can of peas.

"Hey." Lin said after we had been walking for a little while, clearing his throat. "Are you gonna be at V's dinner tomorrow?"

"I don't know." I responded honestly. Mother's Day was always a weird day for me, and probably my least favorite day of the year, right up there with Father's Day and Mom's birthday.

It's always just really hard. Feels like the universe just being mean, kind of like a "Here, have a whole day devoted to celebrating your mom! Except you can't, because yours is dead."

Not fair.

"Why?" I asked when Lin stayed quiet. He only shrugged.

"Just wondering."

Last year I missed Vanessa's dinner. Which wasn't intentional at all, but I had spent all day at the cemetery with Mom and I guess I had lost track of time. Vanessa said she wasn't upset, but I still felt bad.

"Are you gonna go down to Queens?" Lin asked, referring to where my mom is buried. I nodded as we walked, causing Lin to nod too. "That's really nice, P."

I nodded again, not saying anything. We continue to weave through the aisles of the store, the silence between us heavy and gloomy.

"Oh, also, my parents are coming tomorrow. And it definitely doesn't matter how long you're at the cemetery. But...if you could be back at some point to see my parents, that would be awesome. They really want to see you, that's all they've been talking about." Lin grinned. I smiled a little, nodding.

"I'll try and be back in time, I promise."

"They'll love that. So will Vanessa, I know that would make her so happy."

I smiled again, hoping I would be able to keep that promise. I wouldn't intentionally break it, it's just...seeing Mom is always really hard, and it's always so hard to leave. I miss her.

We turned the corner, and of course right there was the service dog from before. Lin and I both exchanged panicked looks, but before we could get the now calm toddler away from the area, he squealed out.

"Puppy!"

*************

"Guys, I'm fine. I swear I'm okay." I tried to reassure them from my spot on the couch. They worry way too much.

"No you're not!" Lin yelled from the kitchen, currently attempting to make dinner. "Tell her she's not, V!"

"Your neck is purple, Paisley, you're not okay. Please, at least put ice on it." Vanessa frowned, holding the small bag of ice cubes out to me.