Bellis perennis

He Is..

 As she pointed her finger towards him saying he's the one whom she loved. They just looked at him and stayed still for a while . Hannah and Elora exchanged a surprising look with each other  and then sudden started laughing looking at Loe.

"Of course , you love him.. we do too.. , who doesn't ?" said Hannah.

"No, you didn't understand me , I'm saying he's the one!" said Loe.

"We know ! But  we're talking about Nhuja here , the one whom you kissed!" said Elora.

"I.... I thought... he was someone else , I... my mind was all over the place...I felt kind of lost ...I don't know.." said Loe.

"What? You thought he was someone else? You have to be kidding me !" said Hannah.

".. I don't know.. I don't remember what I thought at that moment .."replied she.

"You still don't get it ? You love him! , you fool !" said Elora.

" I said I don't !! , why don't you understand ? How would you know whom I love ?"she said in frustration.

They couldn't say anything as they felt guilty for not being able to understand her. 

"Let's not talk about it anymore..  , Please" said Loe.

" Okay " they replied in a sad voice.

They all went to bed , Loe stayed awake all night thinking if she really doesn't feel anything for Nhuja . She wondered what she was  thinking when he kissed her . Hannah found out that Loe couldn't sleep and asked her in a small voice ," You can't sleep?"

"No!! You?" asked she.

"Me neither !" she replied.

"I'm sorry about earlier, I shouldn't have something like that ."said she .

" It's okay ! Would you mind if I ask something ?" asked Loe.

"No " replied she.

"Were you ever seriously in love with someone ?"asked she.

"..Ah .. I guess I was " she replied.

"How did you feel then?" asked she.

"Oh.. what should I say about it.......  everyday felt new and different , I felt at ease whenever I saw him, I felt irritated when I couldn't see him, I felt cold and jealous whenever he was with others but when he was with me , it always felt warm and safe .. I felt somewhat like that I guess...." she replied.

"Did he know how much you loved him?" she asked.

"I guess he did." she replied with a sigh.

"What happened to you guys then?" asked she .

"What has got into you , you never asked such things ?" asked she.

" I just feel like asking you , you don't have to say if you don't want to ." she replied.

"Later he said he doesn't love me anymore and when I asked him reason he said there wasn't any , he just fell out of love he said.."she started sobbing.

"Oh..honey... I'm sorry.. " Loe said  and hugged her.

After she stopped crying Hannah asked ,"Do you love someone?"

"If that's what love feels like then I guess I do.."she said.

"Can I ask you who is he ?" she said.

"I have already told you." she replied.

" Who? Nhuja? But you said you don't .." said she.

"No ,not him.." Loe said.

"Then who ?" asked she.

Loe didn't say anything and sighed deeply. 

"Wait ! You mean YJ ?" She suddenly pulled herself out of bed and looked at her with thousands of questions on her face.

" Ah.. he is the one ." replied Loe.

" Wait !... You are just confused , you are just a fan of him , all fans feel same but that doesn't mean you can't be in relationship ...... I understand you , being a fan myself but that doesn't mean you love him like you know to be in relationship type.." she said.

" You also think I'm crazy , don't you?  I feel the same myself , so I have nothing to say to you.." replied she.

"I understand its's your first time.... , but you can't get confused between the feeling of being a fan and actually being in love you know ..in real life . We are also fan of them in fact more than you know of but we don't actually involve them in real life relationship.. you get me?" she asked.

Loe wanted to say she now knows what feelings are called love and what she actually felt was not a feeling that a fan gets , she knew it was something different , something peculiar but she knew no one would understand her , understand how she feels so she thought it would be better to just agree with them.

"I get you.. " she said in a low voice.

"Then what about him, Nhuja? "asked she.

"I don't think I will ever fall in love with him , I jut better let go of him before I hurt him even more . I never should have agreed to stay in relationship , I feel so guilty..... I don't even have right to feel sorry for him , I'll never be able to forgive myself for what I did to him..." she said with teary eyes.

"What? , No!, You just  don't realize you love him ! You just think that you're not in love with him , but your heart already does, why would you do nothing when he kissed you otherwise ?" said Hannah.

" I already said , I just got blank when he came so close to me .. but I would never let him if I knew it were him , I just saw a different person in him..." she replied.

"You mean you saw YJ in him and kissed him because you thought he was YJ ?" said Hannah with a look of utmost  surprise in her face.

" I guess I did...." replied she.

"Do you even realize what you're saying ? You are just imagining things , you have to come back to reality ..you can't just stay away from Nhuja imagining such dreams with YJ , you know he's never gonna know who you are , you are just confusing yourself by doing such things.." said Hannah.

 "I'm not imagining things, I just love him and it's not like I even expect him to love me back what's wrong in loving someone , I can fall for whoever I want to ... you said you're sorry for acting like you understand me ..."

" You don't understand yourself now, please don't do this .. You're making me afraid...Loe.."said Hannah .

As Loe looked at her face though in the dark she saw a scared look  . She looked as if she's going to cry so she couldn't say anything . She knew she had a lot things to say but knew they would never be able to understand her.