The Christmas Princess (Princess Diaries Fanfic)

Chapter Twelve

I could see on Michael's face that this was not the greeting he imagined.

"Well ... your dad called me about a month ago and asked me if I could come to Genovia for a few days this Christmas ..." he was looking at me as if he was surprised I didn't figure it out yet. Seriously, when do I EVER figure this stuff out? "Why, you so sad to see me?"

And OF COURSE I couldn't just leave it at that and kiss him.

"My... Dad?"

Some time ago I was worried that Rocky might be suffering from slow development. Well, then I don't know what should I say about me.

And yes, I am dating a genius inventor of robotic arm-something that will save thousands of lives.

And no, I don't know how that happened either.

"Yes, your dad," Michael said rather impatiently and leaned closer to kiss me. But my eyes went all wide and I totally didn't feel like characters in the movies when the love of their life appears in front of them.

I think I kind of looked like those characters that get robbed in a dark alley.

Why Michael didn't just turn around and went back to Japan, because, I mean, what kind of a greeting did I give him, is beyond me. The next thing I did was just scream out 'DAD' , turned around and ran after dad who was disappearing in the distance.

He looked rather surprised when he saw me following him.

"Michael said .... Why did you invite Michael here?" I said and tried to sound relaxed and cool but I was pretty much the epitome of panic. I mean, come on! Ever since June I tried to hide the fact Michael and I were back together, risking Tina to hate me forever and now ... well, apparently everyone knew.

At least Dad did.

And that basically equals everyone.

I don't even want to think about how Grandmere will handle this. Is there a royal family that has more Princes that the Saudi one? I will totally have to learn all their names.

Or maybe she'll pick a family from some exotic country whose surnames will be like a mile long and I will have no idea how to pronounce them!

Dad started laughing.

"Well, I don't know, Mia. I guess I thought you might like to see him?"

He knew. He totally knew. And he found it all super amusing.

"But we are ... um ... like ..."

Seriously, what have I ever done to deserve this misfortune? I am a good person, I really am. I mean, I am super concerned about global warming and I am saving stray cats! What else should I be doing?

"Really, Mia, give me some credit, I am not stupid. I knew something was off when you came to Genovia in the summer ... it wasn't exactly difficult to figure it out," he winked at me.

Remember how once upon the time I excelled at lying?

Is there ANYTHING I excel at nowadays? I mean, besides getting on a front cover of gossip magazines for my alleged wedding to RENE? Oh, and dying my hair ORANGE and, most of all, when I saw my boyfriend, I basically ran away from him.

I wonder if there's a college I could graduate from all this?

"But ... But Grandmere will..."

"Your grandmother will have to eventually realize life does not always go according to HER plan," dad rolled his eyes, then his eyes narrowed and became very focused. Which, of course, is never a good sign. "But to tell you the truth, Mia, I think your grandmother's preferences will slightly change now that Michael ..."

But I never got to find out what he meant because Natalia appeared out of nowhere and reminded him that they were late for their spa appointment (why can't he see she is a GOLD DIGGER? WHY?).

I felt Michael's arms around my waist.

"Now do I finally get a kiss?" he whispered and, well, I am not that dumb to let THAT pass me by.

And of course my oxytocin levels went through the roof. Which actually explains everything about my life, including the reason for Dr K being on the payroll of the Genovian Royal Family. You know, oxytocin results in this increase in dopamine which is basically the neurotransmitter that makes us happy (totally, the antidepressants' job is to make us feel happier and what they do is maintain the level of dopamine). And this is basically what someone who is addicted to drugs experiences. The same brain chemicals and the same brain pathways and structures are active when in love, and when being high on crack cocaine. Therefore, this leads to the belief that addictive drugs affect the brain in ways similar to love which can help explain the painful, withdrawal-like symptoms of a breakup.

Which, of course explains the following:

a) Why it is not my fault that I got stuck in therapy, and

b) That Lilly is actually right every time she says I act as if I was on crack. I AM on crack – only that the crack is her brother!

I don't think Mom or any of her feminist friends would be too happy if they knew I was basically addicted to my boyfriend but you know what? Since it is not my fault but rather the hormones' fault, I will totally not care about it.

Accept the things you cannot change and pray for the courage to change things you can, as well as the wisdom to know the difference.

Why waste energy obsessing over something you cannot change? Seriously, even my shrink says so.

Michael broke the kiss way too fast for my liking.

"OK, I gotta ask," he said with a grin, "what have you been doing since the last time we spoke? Why does your grandmother keep screaming tree? Where did you disappear off to yesterday? Why did you dye your hair orange? And why do the newspapers say you married Rene?"

Which, if you really think about it, says many worrying things about my life. I mean, look at all the messes I found myself in less than a week! COMPLETELY unintentionally, may I add.

I need to change something.

I just don't know what.

But I do know this is not normal.

So I told him about the wedding but was very careful to avoid the topic of a tree (he does not need to know his girlfriend climbed the tree in a long dress and high Gucci heels and almost killed herself while trying to save a stray cat. I know he knows I am not sane but he doesn't need to know just how INSANE I am).

Before he could ask any more, I just kissed him (it is rather fascinating, the power ladies can possess over men, isn't it? Sadly, the opposite is also true ...) and told him he HAD to see our winter garden.

Which he does because it is just so pretty.

And, not to mention, a great make-out place.

So, yeah ... I really have no idea why I am cooped up in the bathroom writing this while...

Well, while Michael is here.

MICHAEL.

AND WINTER GARDEN.

THIS IS EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED.

Welll, besides Louie when I was 6, I mean,