Sweet Nothing (MHA Staff AU Fanfiction)

Chapter 11

"YOU GUYS DID WHAT?!" I shrieked at Aizawa as I made it to his place after the hospital.

The man looked more annoyed at me then at the thing he just told me. "I didn't do anything."

"I was gone for just the second half of the final round, and you guys tied up a student IN FRONT OF NATIONAL TV MIGHT I ADD. Wasn't the Sports Festival supposed to show how we were handling things after the attack?" I had my hands on my hips as I looked down at him while he had his arms crossed sitting on the couch.

"Can you stop roping me into this? I just said I didn't do anything."

I huffed and crossed my arms, raising a brow at him. "You didn't stop it." He just glared at me. I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration, "You know what, I had an eventful day, I don't even want to unwrap all of that right now. I'm going to use your shower and try my best to destress before I even try to find a logical reason why the school thought handcuffing and muzzling Katsuki Bakugo was a good idea." I started to walk away into the hallway as I took my hair out of my bun and took off my sweatshirt.

"How was the Iida family and Lily?" I heard Aizawa call out as I continued to undress and put my clothes in the hamper.

"As good as they can be since everything with Tensei just happened." I started the shower and grabbed the shower caddy I made for myself as I stayed here. "Tenya just looked like all his ideas about his brother were shattered along with the Iida legacy. The poor kid just looked broken. Yua and her husband were holding it better than Lily, but that's because they knew long before she and Tenya did." There was no response, "Tensei tried talking to me after speaking to both Tenya and then Lily. But it's too long to talk about, so let me shower, and I'll come back." I heard a faint okay crack through the pounding of the flowing water as I stepped in. I hoped the warm water would shower off the day's events. But it probably wasn't going to. It doesn't help that while I felt like I couldn't help, Iida or Lily, the school decided instead of calming Bakugo's outburst. They decided to chain him up like a rabid animal and embarrass the kid on television while I was gone. Or that Todoroki lost it and used his fire quirk after feeling he couldn't beat Midoriya in a match. Or how Ochako felt that she didn't have what it took to win and prove to herself that she's good enough... I slammed a fist into the shower wall. I'm really feeling useless as a counselor and friend right now. Heck, you were even yelling at Aizawa like it was his fault that they did that to Bakugo. I started sobbing quietly so that Aizawa couldn't hear me. I can't make all of this about myself. I'm not responsible for others. Tensei's injuries are not about me. Tenya and the Iida family aren't about me. My student's problems aren't about me. Aizawa's injuries aren't about me... Toshinori's injuries weren't my fault; Oboro dying wasn't my fault. My mom's life not being normal or safe wasn't my fault. Gemini's assault wasn't my fault. Nothing was my fault... Shit... Thoughts of all the negative occurrences surrounding my life came flooding in like a tidal wave trying to tug me away from shore. Next thing I knew, I was on the shower floor, hugging my body as I sobbed into my knees. If nothing was my fault, then why do I feel guilty?

I was too busy listening to my cries that I didn't notice the shower stopped, and a towel was draped over me. I looked up slightly to see Aizawa sitting on the edge of the tub next to the shower, just glumly looking at me. I pulled the towel tighter around me and averted my eyes to my feet.

He reassured me, "You don't have to talk about anything right now. Just know it's okay to feel whatever you're feeling." Here I was naked and vulnerable, just like I was twelve years ago. Only this time, I felt like I was safe. I always felt safe with Aizawa; I think deep down, we both knew that.

"I just feel useless." I replied, still looking at my feet. "Tensei is not the first person I know to have his whole life and career potentially taken away. The only difference this time, I wasn't anywhere near him to stop it from happening. So I don't know why I feel so guilty. He's not Oboro who died because of some debris I missed, or All Might when I made the wrong call and didn't listen to his instructions as I should have." I dug my nails into my arms as I held myself tighter. "I just minded my business at the festival; I didn't agree with sitting and having to be reminded that I can't be doing my job as a pro while my friend is out dying."