For You ( Riansh ff)

Chapter 2

Vansh

'I am so tired, not physically but mentally. I just do not get it. She is doing or more like finding a way to end her life. Why would she do that?' I thought as Angre, my most trusted man, broke the trance.

"Boss, where are you lost?" he asked with visible concern.

I looked at him, he was waving his hand. "I am ok, Angre, it's just that... " I said with loss of words, he quickly understood, what I was going to say and tried hard to change the topic.

"Boss, I think we should focus on our next project, it was left abandoned, I am sure, that place is best for a new hotel to be constructed-" I cut him off.

"It is ok, Angre, you do not have to be so preferential, it is just that, I don't understand, she tried to cut her wrist first, the other time, she took an overdose of the sleeping pills and now... she tried to jump down twelve floors..." I said with worry and concern.

He nodded, he looked down, feeling guilty for bringing such a soft topic up.

I kept my hand on his shoulder, it is not his fault that I wavered off the topic. I spaced out of which, he thinks is his fault, "Angre, it's not your fault, and I completely mean it, you should not feel guilty for something you have not done" I have been thinking of what happened a bit too much, maybe that is the reason.

"And what about you?" a voice followed my words right after I ended, I recognized who the owner of the voice was, I waited till he started, I looked at him with all seriousness I had that moment.

He continued "What happened to Riddima? Was it much likely to be your fault?" he questioned, his question sent a chill down my spine, I was at loss of words, my heart, suddenly, felt real heavy and what made it worse was the question which he had asked.

"Stop it, Aryan, you are crossing your limits, I warn you to not say-" Angre started, which was cut off by my hand on his shoulder, he did not spare a second look, but he surely gave Aryan a good glare.

Angre went off anger filled in his eyes, the both of them have no grudge amongst themselves, but, Angre, really takes me and my reputation seriously.

As for Aryan, he put on a poker face, I could not even answer what he had asked. He looked at me for a good moment and left out a sarcastic chuckle. He then left.

I felt broken by the question and I do not understand why? I am bothered by her health more than necessary and I do not know how she could get any better.

I walked out of the main hall and walked the steps up. I tried to shrug the question out but still it was there, I do not know how I can erase that question, it bothers me more than anything.

I walked towards my shared bedroom where I know Riddima is there, maybe sleeping or crying or I don't know.

I tried to pull the door knob, I was hesitant to face her and I do not know why, I, at last, opened the door to find a crying Riddima, trying to hide her face while hugging her knees tightly.

I did not dare to speak but I wanted to ask if she was ok "Riddima," I said with a shaky voice. She looked straight up to my eyes and for some reason, I was getting nervous, it seemed like she stared through my soul.

Her deep brown eyes filled with tears had got me well guilty enough for me to cry my heart out.

The sight of her crying made me want to cry, my heart shattered to a million pieces.

I spoke after gaining a little bit of my confidence, "I understand-" her eyes shot up at me and she gave me the glare reminding me that I had just pressed the wrong nerve.

"You understand!?!" she shouted, I flinched at her sudden angered tone, I was taken aback and at the same time I was shocked "You understand how I feel!?! You know how it feels?!!" she shouted  "I feel so wronged! I feel disgusted! I am disgusted at my own self"
I was shocked at her words.

She feels disgusted

She feels wronged

She feels disgusted at herself

Just because of me

Her eyes were filling and flowing out, she shouted "You don't understand!" I now was getting angry "You don't understand anything!" I got really angry "You-"

"I don't understand!?!" I shouted and she flinched "You should be at my place, you don't know how I am holding myself, and you are saying, I don't understand!?! Seeing you in this situation makes me feel guilty, seeing your health, I feel so bad, damn! because-" I stopped.

I looked at her, I was shocked at how I just behaved in front of her. I walked out of the room. 'What did I just say? I should have not behaved like this! What is wrong with me?' I thought.

I do not know what happened, I was just maddened at the fact that she said I do not understand how she feels. What is wrong with me? I should have never said that. I literally shouted at her so bad, she is already so tensed and in a stake situation, Why am I acting so stupid!? What is up with me?