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I walked into the locker room and said to Eddie
" am I handling this wrong "
" what "
" I mean it's like I still think she's going to come home that she's going to walk in for her shift but I know she won't why am I so numb to this "
" maybe it's because you're keeping it together for Jake and you don't want to make him feel worse I mean when Shannon died it was hard because she had just come back into our life's and she made promises of change and it was so sudden with no goodbye "
He almost sounded mad
" Are you mad that I got to say goodbye to her "
He looked at me that said yes but he said
" no I just think you're lucky is all "
He walked out. I got changed and grabbed the papers I printed with her note. I walked upstairs Artemis by my side and I was rolling the paper slightly in my hands and when I got up there they were setting the table for breakfast
" hey "
My voice cracked so I cleared my through
" Hey guys I have something "
They all looked at me and I quickly handed them the paper and they read it and when it looked like they were all about to finish it I sent the voice memo that she left in the group. All there phones went off
" Jake helped me get it so I could send it "
Bobby was the first one to hit play and when she spoke I could hear the sharp intakes and the holding back of tears
" umm I'm sorry it took me so long to give these to you guys it's was just kinda hard ya know "

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