ALEX | a. hotchner (sequel to BLAKE)

4

"What are you doing, Alex?" He asked, his jacket tightly shut and hair plastered to his forehead, but I couldn't answer him. "Alex?" He shook me gently.

"I don't.. I don't remember."

"You don't remember what?" He looked at me with concern in his eyes, concern that I didn't really deserve.

"We had to cremate her because I couldn't afford a headstone," I let out a long breath. "I suck, Spencer, I. fucking. suck."

"No, you don't, Alex," he said softly. "She wouldn't have wanted you to spend all your money on this," he comforted me.

I tried to wiggle my way out of his grip, but he was stronger than me. I kicked and turned and punched, but all he did was pull me to his chest and held me tight.

"Let me go," I pleaded to his chest. "I need to find her, I need her," I whispered.

Spencer turned me around and held my back to his chest," she's right there, Alex," he pointed a few feet in front of us. "She's right where we left her, remember?"

And I did, I did remember. I fell to my knees and I cried, I cried my heart out and if Spencer hadn't been there to hold me, I might've never stopped.

"We need to go to the hospital," he said then.

"No, Spence, I'm fine," I dried the tears on my cheeks.

"No, it's Garcia."

***

When we arrived at the hospital everyone was already there, everyone except Morgan who came just a few minutes after us.

"Where were you? I tried calling you," JJ said.

I could see Spencer opening his mouth in the corner of my eyes, but I was quicker. "Sleeping," I said through gritted teeth and he quickly shut his mouth.

"What happened?" Morgan asked.

"She was shot," Aaron said.

I took in a sharp breath, Spencer had filled me in on the way here, and I managed to have another breakdown before entering the hospital, hopefully nobody had noticed.

"By who?" I asked.

"By whom," Spender corrected me.

"Not now, Spencer," my hands curled in fists and I could feel heat rising to my cheeks.

"Sorry.." he murmured.

"We don't know," Aaron said.

"Has the police got any leads?" Morgan asked.

"I spoke to the lead detective, he doesn't think we'll get anything from the scene," Aaron answered, putting his arms over his chest.

"Alex?"

I turned around and came face to face with, "Scott?"

"Hey, how are you?" He smiled.

"Well, I'm in the hospital so things could be better," I sighed. "What about you?"

"Great! Things are working out with Lindsay," he said cheerfully.

"Lindsay?" I frowned, then realized, "oh.. Lindsay," I nodded. Of course her name's fucking Lindsay, goddamn it.

"Yeah," he let out a breath. "Wanna sit, catch up?"

"Sure," I said, I didn't want to, really, but I couldn't say no, the night's been a fucking nightmare, anyways.

We sat down on a couch, a bit away from the rest of the group. As soon as I hit the couch, I could feel entire night weighing on my shoulders. It was hard to keep my eyes open, and a loud thumping began to grow in my head. I took a few deep breaths to calm down, but I couldn't ignore the panic I felt in my chest.

"You alright?" Scott asked, eyebrows raised.

"Yeah, fine."

"You cut your hair?" It was more a statement than a question.

"Oh, yeah," I hade almost forgotten about it, no one on the team had mentioned it, although I'm sure they all had noticed. "I needed a change."

"Looks good," he smiled.

"Thank you."

"So, you and Aaron are still together, huh?" He asked and leaned back comfortably on the couch.

"Oh, no," I shook my head, "why would you think that?"

"Come on, he still looks at you the same," he smiled.

"I don't know what you mean."

"It's the same way he looked at you when we were going out," he explained. "He looks at you like you're the only person in the room."

I shook my head, "no," I said, "Aaron does not look at me anymore, trust me."

"He's looking right now," Scott smirked and nodded towards the rest of the team.

I turned my head only to catch Aaron looking in the other direction.

"Penelope Garcia?" A doctor said.

"I gotta go," I said to Scott.

"Yeah, of course, it was good to see you," he smiled. I smiled back before joining the team.

"The bullet went into her chest and bounced into her abdomen, she lost a lot of blood, and it was touch and go for a while but we were able to repair the injuries," he started. "She can actually walk out of here in a couple of days," the doctor said. Aaron and Morgan thanked him, and then he was on his way.

"I'm gonna find this piece of shit, and I'm gonna kill him," I said, feeling hot and dizzy.

"No," Aaron answered. "Dave and I will go to the crime scene, the rest of you should be here when she wakes up."

"No! I don't want to be here, Aaron, somebody hurt her," I pointed to the room where P was, "and I need to be out there and find out who it was," I narrowed my eyes at him. He narrowed his eyes back and there seemed to be a spark of electricity going between us.

"Whom," Spencer whispered.

"I'm this close to ruining your life," I warned him.

"Calm down, Alex," Dave put a hand on my shoulder.

"I am fucking calm!"

"Where were you?" JJ asked Morgan, probably to diffuse the situation.

"Uhm.." he started, "I was at church"

"Well, God is dead Derek, and soon that son of a bitch will be too," I turned my back to them and made my way to the door.

"Where are you going?" Spencer asked.

"To find that asshole."

"And what are you going to do then?" JJ asked.

"I'll burn that bridge when I come to it," I answered.

"That's not how you say-"

"Whatever."