Great Loss (a hotchniss story)

aware (emily's POV)

Kate sets down her food. "Do you want to talk about it? I'm here to listen, not only as your mommy friend, but as your friend."

"I'll keep it short. I was in love with my boss, Aaron Hotchner. He told me how I got this offer. We confessed our feelings and we made it official. But I made a decision to come here because it's one in a lifetime. He was angry that I didn't tell him earlier and he said something that really hurt me. So I confided in my best friends. They agreed with him. And I made the decision to come here early. So I here I am." I conclude, tearing up. "And I didn't even know I was pregnant till the day before I left." Kate opens her mouth to talk. "And the father doesn't know. I hope to keep it that way. You can talk now." I look at Kate.

Kate sighs, "Oh Emily, I'm sorry that you had to go through that. I really am." She takes my hand. "Do you think he was the love of your life?"

I stare at my food. "I think he was. He was different from the other men I dated. I mean we were close because we worked together, but aside from work, I saw a different side of him. He's usually very strict. But he had a wife but they divorced, she died because of someone who was targeting them." Kate gasps. "They had a son too, Jack. And he loved me. And I loved him. He called me mommy in his sleep. I was happy."

"Did you want kids? Before everything happened?" she asks.

I look over, to the children playing on the play set. The moms, teaching their babies how to walk by holding onto their hands. "Before, it was all about my job. It took up most of my time. And I loved it. But yes, I've always wanted kids. Maybe when I settled down." I look at Kate and then back at the kids and moms. "I mean with Jack, I was kind of in his life, not for long though. But when I was, I felt content. I could finally care for someone else, other than myself."

Kate rubs my hand, as she still has it on her lap. "I get it." I look at her. "I practically raised my sister's daughter." She looks off to the same people I was looking at. "My sister and brother-in-law died on 9/11. They left their daughter and I couldn't let her go into the foster system. So I adopted her. We're happy, with my husband Chris." Kate sighs. "She's almost a teen now, but she started to act out, at school, and ignoring me at home. I mean I understand where she's coming from but I thought she would be happy. I don't know how she feels now." Kate tears up.

"I'm sorry Kate. You and your husband are welcoming a new life. Maybe you can reassure her that you won't favor the baby. You'll love her as much as you love the baby." I explain.

As both of us are in tears, we laugh and wipe them away. "Well, we should get going." We clean up and out our leftovers in the bag. We walk into the car and Kate drops me off at the house. It's 4:00pm.

"Thanks again Kate, I really appreciated today. I'm lucky to have such a nice mommy friend." Kate leans in for a hug.

"Keep the leftovers, and I will be taking that advice for my daughter." She yells out through the window as I walk up the sidewalk. I get out my key and I open the door. I walk in and walk towards the kitchen. At the table is Elle, working on some files. She glances at me for a quick second and then her eyes go back to her files. I prop the food on the counter.

"There's leftovers if you want some. One of them's Kate's but she said it's all ours." I take off my shoes and bring them into the closet full of jackets and shoes. "I'm taking a nap."

I walk upstairs and close the door. I change into more comfortable clothes. Before sitting in the bed, I walk to my purse grabbing the ultrasound pictures. I admire them and I hop into bed, getting underneath the covers.