kakalimutan na kita (brightwin)

introduction

WIN'S POV

10 years, 8 months and 24 days. That's how long I've known my best friend, Bright Vachirawit Chivaaree. He is all I've ever known. The first best friend, first friend who slept over to my house, first friend my family met. If I'm being honest, my parents treat Bright as their child more than me. 

If anyone asks if I could live without Bright, the answer is plain and simple-- I can't. He's already part of every single thing in my life. We're like a married couple without the fighting. A day in the life of Win Metawin spent without Bright Vachirawit is a day wasted. You would think I'm exaggerating, but no. Don't believe me? Ask Bright. We'd say the same thing and I say this with a hundred percent certainty cause that's how confident I am of how much I know him. 

5 years ago I discovered something about myself. I found out I was capable of loving a man romantically. I was confused and my anxiety was at an all time high. I was scared how my family would take in this new information, scared of being judged by the people I consider my friends and worst if they wouldn't accept who I was. 

Yes, you've guessed it right. My best friend, the man who made me realize I could be in love with a man as well, Bright Vachirawit Chivaaree was the first person to know about my big secret.

It was a Monday afternoon. Usually Bright and I would go home together since we lived across each other. See? Even the house we live in is inseparable. It's been a week since I realized I was in love with the man I call my best friend. In that week I kept avoiding him. Let's go to class together? Sorry, I have to go to class early because of a project. Lunch together? I'll go to the library for lunch! I'm trying to study in advance. Let's go home together? Go ahead! My groupmates and I still have to finish something. For every invite from Bright, there was an excuse ready from me. I couldn't face him without getting the urge to cry. 

That afternoon when I was sure he was already home, I left school earlier than I usually do because I miss going home before dinner time. 

To my surprise when I got home, Bright was in the porch of our house waiting for someone. Waiting for me. 

I was about to go back to my car and leave but he called out for me. 

"Metawin!" I closed my eyes in exasperation and when I turned to see him I had a smile fixed to my face. Okay, Win. You've got this. Just act normal. 

"Hey! What are you doing on our front porch?" I asked feigning surprise. He immediately got up and walked towards me.

"Are you avoiding me?" He asked directly. Wow, straight to the point. 

"H-huh?? Why would I do that? You're my best friend, classmate and most of all we live across each other hahaha." I slapped his arm and laughed hard to show him I was unaffected by his presence. 

"Exactly. We're so close to each other but I barely saw you all week! I missed you, Win." He said while pouting. It was so unlike Bright to pout and because of that I felt my cheeks instantly heat up. 

"You're so clingy, Vachirawit! It's only been a week. I told you I was busy, right? I'll make it up to you." He looked unconvinced. He squinted and pointed at me. 

"Then why did you go home early today? If that's the case we should've just gone together. I really think you're just making excuses." After saying that he smiled sweetly to show that he was just teasing me. He ruffled my hair and pinched my left cheek. "I really missed you. I thought I did something wrong. I was really getting worried na." I smiled and looked down at my fidgeting hands. If I continued looking at him, I know I'll cry. 

I was shocked when he started hugging me and caressing my back. 

"Even if you don't say anything I feel it, Win. You're going through something. I won't force you to tell me what it is but I just want you to know that whatever it is, I'm with you. I'm here for you, Metawin. You have me." I started crying my eyes out and hugged him back. My whole body was shaking and he hugged me tighter as if wanting to keep me up. 

"Shh shh it's okay, Win. Just cry it out." We stayed like that for a good 10 minutes. Just me crying and him hugging me tightly while patting my head. 

"Bright, I like men." I blurted out. He stepped away from the hug to try and get a look of my face. 

"And what about it?" He smiled sweetly and lifted my chin so he could see my eyes. "Is that why you've been keeping your distance from me?" I nodded. 

Hands on his waist, eyes looking up at the sky acting like he was thinking of something deeply. "So I missed my best friend the whole week because he thought I would judge him for being a perfectly normal human being?" After asking that he looked at me again. I nodded. He lifted his arm and pinched my cheeks again. This time hardly. "Ouch!"  

"You owe me lunch for the whole week! You made me miss you for the whole week for nothing! In the whole world, Metawin, I'm the person you shouldn't have to hide anything from. I accept you wholeheartedly and nothing can ever make me change my love for you. We're soulmates at this point. Next time, tell me okay?" He hugged me again and this time I hugged him harder. No place has ever felt as safe as in the arms of my best friend. 

After that day if before Bright and I were inseparable, now we're basically one person. We do almost everything together. The only thing missing is us showering together. There are no secrets between the two of us. 

2 years ago, I let Bright know about my feelings. It was at our block's Christmas party. Sleepover in Bright's house. It was 3 am and most of our blockmates were passed out drunk. It was just us 2 in the pool area dipping our feet in the water. 

I was tipsy, but not dunk. Bright could hold his liquor well, he usually never gets drunk except for this day. He was more drunk than I was. 

His head was resting on my shoulder and I was finishing off my last bottle of beer enjoying the peace and quiet. As I felt the hit of the alcohol, I felt myself getting braver. 

"Bright, do you know how I realized I like men as well?" He shook his head that was still on my shoulder. 

"It's because of you. I realized I like my best friend 3 years ago." He didn't say anything and I wasn't expecting him to. I wasn't expecting anything from him cause I know he was straight. 

After a few minutes of silence he faced me and kissed my forehead. I was taken aback but he just smiled at me.

We proceeded like normal after my confession. He didn't stray away from me and I didn't make things awkward. It didn't make anything weird between us because we chose to always choose our friendship before anything else and to this day, we are still close as hell. 

There is nothing in this world that could make me stay away from Bright. As I've said earlier, I can't live without that man. But if there comes a time that I would become a hindrance to his happiness, without question or any second thought I will happily let him go. Even if it ends up hurting me.