After hours

Chapter Twenty-Five

Daniel's phone kept ringing, and ringing, and ringing as he drove me home.

"Are you going to answer that?" I asked with my elbow on the center console leaning over into the middle of the car. I was too exhausted to sit up right but I wasn't in the mood to press my head against the door of the car, that's what I had hit my head on last time.

"Didn't you just learn your lesson about talking on the phone while driving?" He tried to joke but I could tell it was strained.

I thought back to the moment in the hospital. I don't know if he had spoken to me or not, but I snapped upright and he was suddenly there. I would never in my entire life forget the way he had looked at me. And when our bodies connected for a moment all of the pain I felt had vanished, momentarily of course. There was no one else in the entire hospital, no, the entire world, in those moments we were connected in the most intimate of ways. It was as if the line that divided Daniel from Ryan had vanished and for one deliriously beautiful and brief moment we were one.

And then the way he'd ushered my mom out. The possessive tone he'd taken with her. The way he'd wordlessly dressed me. A very painful realization had struck me. I loved him, which I already knew. But I realized suddenly that I loved him so much I wanted to spend my life with him. And not in the way of two people who happened to be sharing a child together. No. I wanted to be a family together. Build a house and buy a stupid dog. I wanted a life together.

It was a sickening realization, as they always were with Daniel. The idea of actually settling down with someone was frightening, I had always sort of assumed I would. But I always expected it would be more out of obligation rather than actual want, or God forbid need for someone else.

But once we had stepped out of the hospital we were in the real world again. The world where I couldn't just marry him because he got rid of my mother, the world where he had already built his house and bought his dog, the world where I was on the outside looking in.

"Is it...?" I asked knowing I had no need to finish my sentence.

"I can't be certain, but probably." Daniel said not seeming to be concerned at all. He took one hand off the wheel to dig in his pocket and pulled the phone out handing it to me.

My heart literally stopped as I took the vibrating device in my hands. "Y-you want me t-to answer it?"" I asked with a gaping mouth.

"No I wouldn't go that far. But you were worried about who it was. Is that who it is?"

Relief washed through me. I loved Daniel, and I did want him to leave Victoria for me, but I could not be the one to deliver the message. I looked to the phone just as it stopped ringing. With shaking hands I hit the button centered at the button and the screen lit back up. There was no passcode required to unlock it so I was free to scroll through the call log. "She's called you quite a few times." I told him and watching to gauge his reaction. He didn't appear to be worried.

"What about texts?"

"You want me to read your text messages?"

"I'm telling you that you can. Not necessarily that I want you to. I'm not going to be angry if you do, but I probably won't be jumping for joy either." I watched him carefully for a few more seconds. "I'm telling you Ryan, if you're curious about anything to go ahead."

It seemed odd, for someone who was so persistent about hiding our relationship to be so open about anything.

"Go on." He urged this time so I turned my attention back to his phone.

I looked at him one last time before closing out of his call log and opening the messages. I couldn't decide if I wanted to do this or not. If Daniel and Victoria were still very much in love, did I want to know? Would I feel scorned if I opened his phone and saw that we had no text messages between the two of us? Not that we actually texted often, nor sent anything racy. But still.