Certain That I'm Yours

Moving in Reverse With No Way Out

He left that hanging there, till Mark acknowledged it by blinking at him. 

"And if you're not ready to talk to about all this, if you're not there today, you don't have to be, I...I want to get past this with you but only if you're ready,"

Mark sucked in a breath and kept looking at him.

"That's where you're heading right? An awful conversation with me to move past this?"

Mark swallowed, it surprised him how much Aim sounded like his therapist. He could hear her saying that healing was incredibly painful, it sucked but it was worth it when it was over. He knew, from their many sessions that forgiveness was a part of healing and he'd never feel better if he didn't talk to Aim, hear what he had to say and make sure he heard him too. 

He nodded after a moment, to make sure Aim knew, even if he wasn't there today, he wanted to be one day soon so they could be done with this.

"You sound like my therapist,"

That made Aim smile, "I sound like my therapist," 

That knowledge made him feel almost as good as the apology had. Knowing that Aim had been talking to someone, working on himself and his issues was really comforting. And it made him realize that he probably meant it when he said he wasn't that guy anymore. That was...honestly a little jarring. It left him unbalanced like Aim typically did but not necessarily in a bad way. 

And most of the things he'd thought, the names he'd wanted to throw back at Aim or the less than flattering comparisons he had for his ex, didn't seem super fitting right now, which was jarring in a different way. 

Mark used to think he was a lot like a cockroach. Something slimy and indestructible, that could survive the worst the world had to offer. Or maybe he himself was the worst the world had to offer. Except now, Aim didn't seem too much like a cockroach, if his changes of heart and personal growth was to be believed. And he didn't seem like the worst of the world anymore either. 

He kind of just seemed like another person who regretted choices they'd made and was hoping for a chance to prove that they meant that. 

It made Mark think of Vee. His wonderful Vee, who'd grown and adapted and changed his tune to keep him. He must've started smiling or made a happy noise because Aim looked a little startled, asking, "are you alright?"

Mark hummed, sad to be ripped from his comforting thoughts of Vee, but glad for the momentary reprieve from all that he'd felt in the last 20 minutes. 

When he opened his mouth to tell Aim that, yes he was alright, he was exhausted and maybe needed to go home for some sleep, he noticed how close they were standing. He thought he'd backed up more than that.

His head craned back to look at Aim, had to, to be able to see him, that's how close they were. He heard Aim make a noise as his hand lifted to brush across his cheek. 

"One day, I promise, I won't make you cry when you talk to me,"

Mark didn't know what to do with that so he said, "It's just...a lot,"

Aim hummed.

"Lots of feelings and bad memories and-"