Certain That I'm Yours

Moving in Reverse With No Way Out

How many nights does it take to count the stars?

That's the time it would take to fix my heart

Oh, baby, I was there for you

All I ever wanted was the truth

~~ Infinity by One Direction ~~

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a/n: So I'm not quite sure what happened...well I know what happened, I'm dumb and I edited last chapter for a week and didn't realize that I had left in a portion of what was essentially the first draft of the chapter. I'm a mess and I'm sorry for not catching it sooner! (Shoutout to @DBKfan for their comment that clued me in to my mistake!!! xx) I can honestly only laugh at myself I'm just such a spaz. 

That said, please enjoy this chapter, it'll be better edited this time I promise!! It's an emotional roller coaster for Mark as always poor bb, someday he'll feel better I swear! Happy reading and stay safe everyone xxx

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No, no, Mark scolded himself. He was fine. He'd been through so much that he knew he could do just about anything. He'd impressed himself enough in this past week alone and seen Aim so randomly with his friends just now without freaking out, he could do this. He could stand in front of him and not panic. The thought alone calmed him down.

As that happened, he noticed Aim taking a couple steps in his direction, he saw the way his brows were knitted together and the down-turned corners of his mouth. Either he was trying not to freak out too or he hadn't gotten out the frustration he'd been feeling that caused him to leave the lab. That wave of thinking made him feel bad all over again. He really didn't want to but he couldn't help it, James always said he was too decent for his own good. Even way back when, he should've hated Aim but he didn't. He hated the things he did and how he treated him sometimes but even at their worst, he loved him still. Which he only realized after it was over, was really fucked up, it wasn't love the way he had it now but he had to go through that to show him that it was wrong. Had to see for himself what was what, develop standards and build walls to keep himself safe. He had and so far, recently those things hadn't steered him wrong. 

But still. Aim was standing right there and Mark hated the things he'd done, hated the attitude he had about everything but didn't hate him. He felt bad for him. If it was anyone else, he would've felt bad for them too, to be sitting in a room with people who were formerly friends and be ignored completely. To be scolded when you opened your mouth, to be glared at for existing, Mark couldn't help the sympathy he had for him in this moment. Maybe that was wrong, maybe he should try harder to despise him, Vee did it so easily but Mark knew he didn't have it in himself to be completely apathetic towards Aim. It took a lot of effort to remove his emotions from a situation and even with everything he'd put him through, he was angry with him, hurt by him but he didn't hate him. 

He couldn't change that. Wasn't it a good thing that he was self-aware enough to realize that? He at least, knew better than to waste energy being nasty to Aim when he could just talk to him, get it over with and move on. 

He shifted and cleared his throat, reminded himself one more time that he was still fine, it was his choice whether or not he stayed that way, not Aim's. 

"Hi," Mark said when Aim was a couple steps away from him. 

He inclined his head towards him, to show he was listening or return the greeting without having to say anything. Still following the rules, then. It made Mark smile a little which seemed to startle Aim because he reeled back, eyes wide.