Why We Broke Up || YeonBin

Letter #15

Yeonjun, I didn’t mean to. I swear I didn’t but I had no choice.

I don’t know how my dad found out and how he did it but when he made me stay on the dining table after dinner I knew it wasn’t going to be good.

His expression was unreadable at first, like an illegible scribble that I couldn’t figure out. He sat there on his place, nonchalant as ever but when I realized his gaze was following my every move, I suddenly felt like there were strings connected onto me once again and he was the one in control.

I tried to break-free, hyung.

Because I hate feeling helpless like I used to and I do not want to go back into how I was before. But then he brought out this one fucking envelope without missing a beat and threw it across the table into me.

I was confused and curious so I did what was expected and opened that damn thing.

And just like that, I was back to square one.

The sickening invisible wires tied around my figure I thought I had already loosened tightened back up once again. This time, it was even tighter that I felt like I couldn’t breathe anymore.

The wires kept on tightening and tightening, making sure to keep me in place and away from moving. They were sharp and made up of rusty irons with spikes digging onto my skin and I could feel all of them right at that moment.

And it was maddening because it was my own father behind all of that tormenting pain.

“I made someone do a simple background check on this man named Choi Yeonjun.” I heard the bastard talked while I was staring at the papers filled with your personal information. His voice was calm, casual like he wasn’t planning anything hideous but I know for a fact that there was a threat behind the tone he used.

I was so mad then, Yeon-ah, even until now. I had to muster all of my self-control not to impulsively throw the table onto his face. My hands were shaking and I was so tempted to beat the shit out of him but I couldn’t because if he carelessly showed your info to me, then he was definitely ready to do something I won't like.

And like the fucking marionette I was made to be, I kept to myself and waited until I was told to move. I was so fucking enraged but I was more scared because I don’t know what he could do to you and my thoughts were running wild and my head was spinning because there was also a few pictures of you taken from afar that I’m sure was taken without your knowledge.

This sick bastard sent someone to stalk on you what was I supposed to think?

And when he said that he could always do more investigation on you I couldn’t help anymore but to interfere.
I can't have him hurt you because of me.

I can't.

So I denied I know you.

I’m sorry hyung. I didn’t want to but I had no other idea what to do.

I felt like I was held at gun-point and he had fired the bullet straight into my head.

It killed me to say I know nothing of you. It tore my insides apart to deny you and my love for you but I had to because it was my only way to rid his thoughts of doing something to you.

I had to pretend you were nothing but a mere stranger to me so he wouldn’t have to use you against me.

Yeonjun-ah, I’m so sorry.

Please understand I’m doing this to protect you.

It’s hurting me too.

I love you, hyung, so much. But they can't know that.

It’s the only way to make sure you won't be involved in this mess.

I don’t think I can handle that.