Laments of Broken Strings (Arte del Amor #1)

Chapter 17

Suminghap si Jiro at tinapik ang balikat ko bago naglakad palayo.

Mula sa pagtanaw kay Jiro ay ibinigay na sa akin ni Ashriel ang atensyon niya habang ako ay kanina pa nakatitig sa kaniya.

His hair grew longer and his eyes were tired. I have never seen him like this. Kung nanghihina na ako dahil sa nakikita kong kalagayan niya, paano pa siya?

"I'm sorry..." nagsimula siyang umiyak at lumuhod sa harap ko. He held my knee with his right hand. I feel like if he lets go, he'd collapse. Agad din akong umupo para daluhan siya at pantayan ang mga mata niya.

I should be asking and shouting at him right now for explanations but I can't bear seeing him like this. Hindi ko kaya. I want to know what or who did this to him.

Halos hindi ko na maintindihan ang mga namumutawing salita mula sa mga labi niya dahil sa malalakas niyang paghikbi. "Lyrica, hindi ko alam. Hindi ko sinasadya. I'm sorry."

"Ashriel!" I shouted, but my voice is too soft for it to do anything. Inalog ko ang mga balikat niya sa pagsubok na ibalik siya sa tamang wisyo pero patuloy lamang siya sa pagluha.

Niyakap ko siya. "I'm ready to listen to whatever you have to say. Pakikinggan kita, Ashriel. Kaya please, tahan na..."

I ran my hands through his hair as I cradled him in my arms. Ilang minuto ang lumipas bago siya kumalma. I heard him sniff before shifting to sit beside me.

Nakayuko siya at nakatingin sa sahig at nagsimula, "My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer."

I was struck. I couldn't say anything that could be of help to him. "She's my everything... you know?" sabi niya.

Namumula na ang mata niya pero bumabalik ang luha sa mga ito. "Nahihirapan ako kasi kailangan ko maging matatag para kay Ashantelle... kahit na ako mismo kailangan ko ng masasandalan."

Ashantelle is his younger sister. I've seen her in pictures and she's just eight years old. May pumatak na luha mula sa mga mata ko habang iniisip ko palang 'yung pinagdadaanan nila, lalo na ni Ashriel. "My dad never left my mom's side so I had to take care of him too. Magkakasakit din siya kung h-hindi." his voice broke at the last sentence.

"You should have called me." If only I knew what you were going through, I would have rushed to your aid. Hindi ko hahayaan na umabot sa ganitong pagod ka na.

Umiling siya, "I didn't want to share the burden to anyone, lalo na ikaw... Ayaw kong dumagdag sa mga iniisip mo."

Halos mainis ako sa sinabi niya. "Inisip parin kita! Hindi mo dapat sinarili, Ashriel!"

He shrugged. "Siguro nga."

"And about the picture, Lyrica..."

Here it comes. Halos lumabas mula sa dibdib ko ang puso ko dahil sa sobrang kaba. Mariin kong ipinikit ang mga mata ko habang inihahanda ang sarili ko sa mga posibleng maririnig ko mula sa kaniya.

"I'm ready for what you're about to say."

Huminga muna siya ng malalim, "Dianarys' mother is my mom's doctor. They are friends, and that picture was taken the day my mom was diagnosed."

"She was comforting you..." Tumango siya sa sinabi ko kahit sinabi ko lang 'yon para sa sarili ko, trying to absorb it. "She was there when you needed someone." I whispered.

Hinawakan niya ang dalawa kong pisngi at hinuli ang tingin ko. "Sa'yo lang ako.. You should know that by now."

Hindi na tumitigil ang luha ko, lahat ng sakit na dinala ko noong nakaraang buwan ay inilalabas ko ngayon sa harapan niya mismo. "Sana sinabi mo agad, nabaliw ako kaiisip..."

Pinapatahan niya ako, he's caressing my hair as he flashed his softest smile. "I didn't know... Hindi ko alam na may ganoon. I don't even remember what was happening that time. I was too busy trying to survive."

Tumango-tango ako, completely believing in him. "The post was already deleted, nakausap ko na si Dianne. But still, I'm very sorry for that."

I looked away and hid my face because I probably look horrible right now, tapos pinakalapit niya pa 'yung mukha niya. "Lyrica..." he gently made me face him again, his hand on my chin.

Pinunasan niya ang luha ko gamit ang hinlalaki niya. "Stop crying. Were you really that worried about me?" Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin at tumango.

Ngumisi siya at may maliit na tunog ng tuwa na nagmula sa kanya bago niya ako niyakap. "I wanted to be the one to hug you like this when you needed it." nakasimangot kong sambit.

Tumawa siya, "We're getting vocal, are we?" hinigpitan niya pa lalo ang yakap niya sa akin. "Don't worry, your embrace is the only thing that keeps me grounded. I don't mind not having all the hugs in the world if that means I get to receive yours."

Humiwalay ako sa yakap at pinunasan ang natitirang luha sa mga mata niya. Kinuha niya ang kamay ko at pinagsalikop ang mga daliri namin. "I am proud of you, Ashriel."

Hindi na mapawi ang ngiti sa labi niya at tumingin sa itaas. "Grabe... Bawing-bawi."

Indeed. My heart is finally at peace now that I know the truth. Lahat ng paghihirap ko ay napawi ngayong nakausap at nakita ko na siya ulit.

I was expecting for the worst but here we are. It is the first time I've ever been vocal about my feelings for him. He deserves to know that. At natatakot na ako na matapos 'ito nang hindi ko man lang nasasabi kahit papaano.

We stayed at the empty parking lot for hours sitting closely, side by side and told each other what we have been through for the past month. I learned that they spent three weeks in the hospital before his mom was allowed to go home. They stayed at their rest house in Tagaytay to help in his mother's recovery.

"Ashantelle wants to meet you, actually." natatawang sabi niya habang kinukuwento ang kapatid. "Talaga? Bakit kilala ako?"

"Kapag kasi wala na akong makausap, napapakuwento ako sa kanya tungkol sa'yo kahit hindi niya pa naiintindihan."

Nagpatuloy siya, "Gusto mo ba sumama sa akin sa Tagaytay?"

Nalungkot ako bigla nang maalala na aalis ako ngayong Christmas break. I wanted to go with him kahit suporta lang.

I shook my head, "I'm leaving for Manila tomorrow."

It's almost Railey's second death anniversary and it pains me every time I remember it. Pero ayaw ko munang sabihin kay Ashriel. "It's my turn to visit my parents."

He nodded, understanding why I have to go to Manila. He still sulked, though, and it's evident in his small pout. "Bukas agad? Kababalik ko lang."

Tinawanan at inasar ko lang siya na masyado niya akong namiss. "How about we spend Christmas together? Are you back by then?" proposal niya. Hindi talaga sumusuko.

"Saan naman?"

Nag-isip siya, "Tagaytay."

"Inisip mo pa kunwari. Kanina mo pa gustong sabihin 'yan, eh." sabi ko sa kanya.

He chuckled, "Yeah. I really want you to meet my family."

Bumalik ako sa realidad nang makita ang mga kaibigan namin na nakakunot ang noo at nakatingin nang masama kay Ashriel.

Yes... It took a while for me to realize or even admit it, but now, I'm sure of it.

These people are my friends.

I do not plan on losing any of them, ever.

"It's your time to explain and clean your name, Mr. Zuniga."

Natawa ako nang tumayo si Ashriel at nakataas ang dalawang kamay sa pagpapahiwatig ng pagsuko. Sigurado ako na napansin na nilang inosente ang kaibigan nang makita akong maayos naman kaya natatawa na sila Keann pero nagpipigil.

And just like that... all is well.