Hogan Penis And The Really Big Rock

trapped in da kloset

A/N i plan 2 make dis a 7 book series jsut like Harry potter!! Suck it JKR u transfobbic poopoo head!!😈

18 YEARS AGO

"ooh baby ur rlly fuckign good at sex" screeched Charmaine Penis as he straddled his husband Heinz penis's marsaive elephant cock like a cowboy riding a cow.
"No u r baby i love ur moist sideways sloppy joe!!" moanmed Heinz as he thursted in2 his hubsand. (oh btdubbz Charmin is transgener and he gived birth 2 Hogan himself so deal with it!!🖕)
They den both had rlly good orgasms that where great so then they layed down on their bed. "I love you so much Hienz and i love our baby son hogan" whispered Chamrain romanticacatically 2 him husband.
"i lov u 2 Champagne and Hogan is an amazing adorable and fucking epic baby!!!1!!" yelled Heinz with a huge grin.
"yes im glad we got gay marryed" said the beautifull Charmiane as Henz runned his big manly golden brown hands thru his sexy husbnds long tangerine colored hair.

Suddently a loud xplosuon happend!!
"BOOM!!" it went.
"WHERE IS THAT FUCKIGN OBESE BABY!!" screamed a voice loudly from outside.
"hoggan is not obeast hes big boned!!" yelled Hienz as he rushed out the door, his magic eruptign in turkwoise sparkles from hishands.
Charmaime cryed. Hogan was a cute baby! how cuold such a meanie say sumthn so evil?
"AAAAAA FUCKING FUCK NO DONT MAKE ME EXPLOADE IN2 GOLDEN FIREWORKS I HAV E A HUSBAND AND A BEAUTFUL BABY WHO I LOVE A HOLE LOT NOOOOOOO IM DYING AAAAAAAA-!!" wailed Heinz rlly loudly.
"oh fuck" yelped Carmain as he grabbed Hogang and runned outside. mayb he beautiful husband could at leest see his son 1 last time...
"I hope Heinz not dead...😥" said Chmaime.
Heinz was dead!!
His burned corpse lyed down on the grass, and standign above him was a 10 foot tall man!
The man cumpletely naked except 4 a purple glitter kinomo and a dark black thong. His skin was gold like a Oscar and him hair was long flowing curly and rose gold.
He looked at Charmen with hsi peircing red eyes and smiled evilly.
"i am the dark lord Elon Ferocious prepare 2 die u stupid baby!!" The bad man screeched in his deep scary voice as he kreated more gold fireworks of death.
"NOOOOOO!!!" screaned Charmaine as he throwed baby Logan off 2 da side and got turned in2 a xplosion by Elon Feriocous.
"hahah ahaa now i have you you fat baby" laughed the dark lord Elon.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAA" cryed Hogan.
Sdudnly Elon felt his body get sucked in a random direktion!! "No!!" he yelled.
B4 elon got succed away he scratched a imverted cross on the kute babys 4head.

"WAAA WAAA WAAAAAAA!!" wailed little baby Hogan Penis at this.
suddnly Elon Ferrocoius got sucked up in2 a water bottle liek a genie in a lamp!
A sexy milf with half black half white hair and a bright yellow pntsuit capped off the bottle.
"thatl do it" she said.
As she wuz about 2 drink it, suddenly Elon flyed out but he wasnt as powerfull!
"he hee ill get u you bitch" said a super weak ghostly versoin of Elon ferocious as he flyed rlly far away from where they where.
"o fuck no" wept the milf.
"You stank as s hoe u look liek a fart!!" shouted the lady shaking her fists.

PRESNET DAY

Hogan Penis's life sucked!
First thing, he lived in Ohio(barf).
2nd, he lived with the Doodleys, whitch were the worst shittiest fucking family ever.

His uncle Palin was a abusive douche who looked and acted like Donald trump but way worst. Palins favorite things 2 do where watch Fox News and yell at black ppl. Palin hated Hogan bcuz he wuz pansexual, had a transgedner dad, was half Indonesian, he had a inverted cross on his fourhead, (the Doodleys were hardcore Kristian republicans) and bcuz Hogan was way hotter and sexier than him.
Aunt Arugula was a whiny Karen with stupid hair who made Hogan eat only stale bread, saltines, (and the ocasional Mcnugget) bcuz he throwed a bowling ball at her head when he was 7. Arugula didnt let Hogan watch SpongeBob but she let Brayden watch shitty cartoons like Uncle Grandpa (Hoggan hated Uncle grandpa).
Brayden was da worst tho. He looked like a potato had sex with a ballsack and had a ugly ass loser son. Brayden called Jogan "stupid" and "gay" 10 times a day and spit on his face a bunch. Plus he wuz a massive Nazi and had a giant poster of Hitler in his room.
Hogan wished they would all get disemboweled by a bumch of ravenous bloodthirsty crocodiles, wolverines and polar bears.

"Hey homo if u don't stop doing ur gay roof karate moms gonna give me ur dinner!!" yelled Brayden at Hogan, who was doing awesome parkour on the roof of the Doodleys house. "what is it, raw chicken with mayo?!" said Hogan with a smirk as he did a epic backflip off the rooftop. "HEY DONT DO THAT!!" yelled Palin, his face a bright tomato red. Hogan wanted to crush it right theire.
"why because I'm Black?" said Hoggan rolling his eyes. "thats it no dinner 4 u!!" roared Palin. "strait 2 the broom kloset!"
Hogan scowled at his abusive homophobic relatives as he went 2 his shitty broom closet were he was forced 2 live.
"I hate them..." Hogan said angrily as he fiddled with a coate hanger in his large manly hands. Suddenly he have a idea!
Hogang bent 1 of the coat hangsrs so far that it became straight and sharp. Rhen he keeped twisting all the coat hangers until he had somethign resembling a dangerous weapon.
It was time.

"mom this Mac n cheese is too ethnic 4 me!!" screeched Braiden, his inbred face turning pink. "Oh no!! ill skrape the pepper off my sweet Braydey baby" said Arugula, tears welling up in her small rat eyes.
"That's why I love only eating raw chicken and mayo!" puffed Palin.
"Repulsive..." sneered Hogan, his weapon close at hand. "What did you say, you little weener?!" Screamed Pallin off in the disrantce.
"RAAAAAAAAGGHHHH!!!" bellowed Hogan as he jammed the mass of coat hangers in2 Palins neck.
Hogan smirked as the mass of blood spurted and bubbled from his evil uncles neck.
"it's what you deserve you dirty ogre" he said.
He then did a sick flip over Palins corspe when Arugula pulled out her phone.
"Help, police!!" She wailed as Bradyen screeched and squawked. " i new never 2 tru/st your stank ass!!" said Braden as he pulled out an AK-47 from under the table.
Hogan began 2 panic. That weppon was all he had. And it wouldnt work agianst a gun!
"Die you fucking assclown!!" skeeamed Brayden as he aimed the gun at Hogans sexy handsome and chiseld face.

Suddenly a cyborg with dreadlocks covered in blue sparlking light emerged from da sky and picked Hogan up!
"are you ok mon?" He said with a smile.
"Well...now i am" said Hogan as he smirked at Arugula and Brayden, who where shocked.
"Let me have that, child." Said the Jamaican cyborg as he crushed Braddens AK-47 in 1 of his massive robot hands.
Brayden and Arogula were speechles.
"let's go Hogan. These people r not Irie." Said the cyborg as he flyed away with Higan thru the roof of the Doodleys house.

"Dude what the fuck is ur name?!" pouted Hogan, as he did not like being lifted by some1 else. "My name is Monolith Marley" said the man. "why did u rescue me?! Im just a average boring dude!!" whined Hogan.
"because you are special, Hogan. You are the Boy Who Didnt Die." said Monolith. "That's why you have that scar on your fourhead!" As Monoliht put Hoggan down on the ground, he traced the inverted cross on his head. "You have 2 come 2 this magic school called Morgans Community Colage!! We need u 2 save da world from Elon Ferrocious" said Monolith as a tear welled up in his right eye (him left one wuz a robot eye).
"wuts in it 4 me?" Hogan said.
"youll be super duper poppular and get lots of bitches" intoned Monolith.
"Ok im in" sayed Hogan smugly. "But I can't do magic"
"Yore a powerful awesume wizard Hogan" said Monolith as he looked super deeply in2 his eyes. "whoa cool" said Hogan as he cryed.

"Now lets go 2 In and out burger." said Monolith as he gave Hohan a fist bump.
Hogan smirked.
This wuz gonna be good.