Loving You (Jearmin)

3

The squad decided to take a break as nightfall fell. They lay out thin mats for sleeping. Mikasa lay her mat closer to Eren in protectiveness. Armen lay in between Eren and Jean. He could hear the soft snores of everyone  around him. He let out a soft sigh and sat up from his mat, pushing his blanket off him. Quietly and slowly he walked away from his squad. He walked a bit and climbed onto a large rock. He rested his chin on his hand and stared off blankly into the distance.

He shivered. It was cold. Armin wished he had brought his blanket. Still he was just glad to he able to breath in the cold air. Eren's words were getting to him. He wanted to see the world but now he knew there was no peace on the other side of the sea. Who says there would ever be?

How much blood would have to be shed?

How many lives would have to be lost?

Armin had been on the brink of death before. It had been awful. Terrible pain, praying for it to be over, begging for his body to just give up and die.

He would go through it again for peace. That was a decision he made a long time ago when he joined the scouts. Still, his life was not enough and it would never be. Armin had been granted extra years of life that he didn't deserve. He knew Erwin deserved to be brought back. Humanity would have more of a chance with him. The glares he received from his fellow comrades weren't comfortable but he understood them. If he could take it back, bring Erwin back and have him buried six feet underground he would do it.

Armin let out a long, drawn out sigh. He hoped he could do it. He hoped to make humanity proud.

"Why are you so mopey?"

Armin looked behind his shoulder to see Jean with his arms crossed "Jean?"

"You hate sleep or something?" Jean asked, raising an eyebrow "this is the second time I've found you staring into space."

Armin shrugged and looked down at his feet. Jean climbed up the rock "shove over" he said in a gruff voice.

Armin pushed himself over and Jean placed himself beside Armin.

"What are you doing out here?" Jean questioned Armin.

Armin thought of an excuse "Oh just looking out for titans."

"Most of the titans we killed in the wall" Jean said "Plus it's night. Most can't move right now. Seeing one is a low possibility."

"There's still a chance" Armin said.

"That's fair but what are you going to do with no ODM gear?" Jean looked Armin up and down.

Okay so it was a bad excuse. Armin stayed silent.

"Wanna talk about it?" Jean asked.

Armin looked at him "What?"

"You've got something on your mind" Jean said "I saw you tossing and turning while you were trying to sleep. Wanna talk about it?"

Armin looked away from him, bringing his knees up to his chest "There's nothing to talk about."

Jean shook his head slightly "Fuck that fake hero."

"What?" Armin blinked.

"Don't pay attention to what Eren said" Jean said "You joined the scouts to see the world. To make the wonders in your books become reality. You're still gonna do that."

"Jean" Armin breathed out.

Jean's cheeks dusted pink "Things are bad. I won't lie to you... but that won't stop us from making it better. The Captain made a decision to bring you back Armin. You're here because you're important."

Armin couldn't take his eyes of Jean as he spoke. It was like he knew exactly what was going through Armin's head.

Jean paused from his speech and locked eyes with Armin "Not only to humanity but to me."

Armin could feel his cheeks reddening for a unknown reason. Jean hadn't broken the eye contact. The same tingles arose in Armin's stomach and he suddenly felt lightheaded. Despite that, Armin felt safe and secure in this moment.

"I mean uh" Jean sputtered, breaking his intense gaze "You're important to all of us. To your squad."

Armim smiled and nodded "Thank you Jean."

Jean kept his eyes away from Armin "No problem."

"Are you scared?" Armin asked "About what's on the other side of the sea that is."

Jean gave a dry laugh "We've seen a lot Armin so I wouldn't say I'm scared. I just wish things were different you know? We could be regular kids without everything on our shoulders."

"What would regular kids do?" Armin asked, trying to recall what teenagers at his home would do before the wall fell.

"I've got a few ideas of what it would be like."

"Tell me."

Jean shifted to look at him "Alright, well I could get a good night sleep for once, I could still be in school, decide on a future job and" he hesitated "... I could be in a relationship."

Armin gaped "A relationship? As in boyfriend and girlfriend?"

"Let's go with that yeah."

"If you want a relationship you can have one Jean" Armin said.

"Yeah right" Jean scoffed "In the world we live in? No chance. Especially not as a scout."

Armin frowned "That's ridiculous."

"What?"

"You can't let the world circumstances stop your happiness!" Armin exclaimed "If you wanna love someone do it! Anyone would be lucky to have you."

Jean blinked at him and Armin found himself flushing under his gaze.

"You're amazing Jean."

Jean smiled "So what you're saying is" he leaned closer slightly "I should go for it."

Armin fought the urge to lean in closer "Yeah go for it."

Jean smirked and leaned away "I'll do it soon."

"You've got someone in mind?"

Jean smiled fondly "I have for awhile now."

Armin felt his smile faltering slightly "That's cool. She'll say yes."

Jean stared at him "I hope they will."

Armin let his head drop to Jean's shoulder, he felt Jean shiver "How many constellations can you name?"

Jean winced "Jack shit."

"Want me to point some out?"

Jean leaned against Armin "All of them."

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They're in love your honour

I don't make the rules