Aftertaste (Sin #2)

X.

Amelia gives us the cards. I haven't played this game in years and it's pretty nostalgic.

We go a few rounds before I catch Alexander peeking at my cards. "Hey!" I say, putting the cards against my chest to hide them. "Stop looking! That's cheating," I exclaim.

Alexander, not guilty at all, just raises a challenging eyebrow. "Yeah? And what are you gonna do about it?"

I just give him a dirty look.

Amelia actually ends up winning the first round. Lena wins one, too. And then it basically becomes a battle between Alexander and Sam because they win the most rounds and they started competing and we were just there to make it a little more interesting for them, nothing else.

˙˙˙

Alexander and I take our things to his room because we're staying here for the weekend. It's been quite some time since we stayed overnight and we decided to take this weekend completely off and spend it with the family.

This house will forever have a special place in my heart because I carry so many good memories with me that were made here. And on the rooftop where Alexander and I are sitting and watching the stars with a blanket around us because it's chilly outside.

"Do you remember when I first got here and we met unexpectedly here on the rooftop? You were losing it whenever you saw me."

"Yeah. I was just being an asshole," he speaks above my head.

"Yes, you really were," I say, recalling my first moments when I got here. "You were being rude and mean to me for no reason."

I feel him sigh. "I was just fucked up. What can I say? It's not easy living with someone as hot as you, either."

I'm quiet for some moments. Alexander and I have never really fully talked about our enemies-to-lovers relationship. We just jumped right into it. "Why did you really do it?" I ask him.

He moves his head, looking down at me. "What?" he asks.

I lift my head off his chest and move away from him so I create just a little distance, as much as this blanket will allow. I tend to get easily sidetracked because of him. "Why did you act like that towards me?"

He lets out an incredulous chuckle. "I acted like that towards everyone, Gabrielle."

He takes out a pack of cigarettes and my lips press together.

"Are you mad?" he asks.

"No," I say.

"You sure? Because you sound mad to me."

"I am not mad, Alex!"

"Okay, you're mad," he decides, nodding and looking forward,lighting his cigarette up.

I grit my teeth together.

"Why are you mad? We can talk about it if you want ..."

I let out a loud sigh. I pull my legs up, bending them, and I hug them, putting my chin on my knees, looking down at the street. "No, it's in the past anyway so we can leave it there."

Alexander looks at me and keeps looking for a long time, yet I can't bring myself to look at him. He puts his hand on my leg, trying to comfort me. I can't help and I flinch at his touch for some reason, completely unprepared for it.

Alexander is in front of me, his hands on either side of my head. He slams me against the wall again, not as hard as before, but just enough so that he scares me. And he scares me a lot. He's staring at me with hard look and cold eyes.

I put my hand against his chest, trying to push him away from me, but he doesn't budge. He steps even closer to me, intimidating me with his height. I drop my hand down in fright.

''Listen here, little one. Pull a stunt like that again and you see what happens,'' he breathes on my face, his breath smelling of smoke. My eyes water, hating that smell.

Tears unwillingly fall down my face now. ''I wasn't trying to ...'' I choke on words, coughing. ''Alexander ...'' I say in barely a whisper, trying to catch breaths. ''Please ...'' I lightly press my hand on his chest again, not even trying to push him off, just showing him, begging him to release me.

He leans his face closer to mine. ''I'm tellin' ya. Make your little brain remember this warning. The next time it won't be just a warning anymore.''

With a final dark look in my eyes, he releases me and lets me crash down on the floor while he walks away as if nothing happened. I can't stop choking and breathing hard, tears spilling down my face, even though I don't want them to.

"Babe?" Alexander asks, his face panicked.

"Sorry, I ... I was just thinking about something."

He grimaces, knowing fully well what I was thinking about. "Gabby, come on ... you know I regret that. I would never ..." He licks his lips. "I would never hurt you."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah," he says immediately.

"You regret it now. Did you regret it then? And you wouldn't hurt me now. What about then?"

Alexander rakes his hand through his hair. "I regret it now and I regretted it before. I knew I was a jackass, but that was how I made sure you would keep a distance because I was too fucked up. And if I wanted to hurt you, I would have. It was never about hurting you, more about scaring you." He rolls his shoulders. "Look, can we leave this in the past?"

I look at him, tilting my head to the side. "I mean ... yeah, sure." I don't even know why I brought it up in the first place. It's probably because this place often makes me overwhelmed and brings back some old memories, unfortunately those who aren't welcomed, either.

It's amazing to see how far I've come, though. In emotional meaning. I've grown a lot as a person and, yes, Alexander had something to do with it, yet it was still in a way that I don't want to remember.

Now, though, I know I wouldn't let him treat the way I did when I came here. No one, actually.

I lean my head on his shoulder and he wraps his arm around me. We both grew a lot as individual people; together. We've both changed a lot and that's important. We both keep growing and we're here to support and help each other in a way we know it's the best for each other.

And that is my definition of love. Him. 

*

I'm way too tired to think of anything funny to say to finish this chapter so.... yeah. Shit storm's coming. That's all, bye