𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑑 - 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿

ii.

"I just feel like lately everybody else around me is happy —happier than before. Ron's a prefect now, Ginny's got herself a boyfriend, Sirius is finally free, living his best life at home. I can't help but feel angry at life for making me so miserable."

"But are they? Happy, I mean. You only know what people tell you. Just because they seem happier than you doesn't mean they don't have problems of their own. I understand you feel pain and sorrow, but I don't think this is the best way to deal with it."

Zara looked at him intently. When had he become so wise? "I know. It's my fault, I didn't mean to snap at her. She doesn't deserve this. Wait for me while I look for her, will you?"

The green eyed boy nodded and called for her attention one last time. "Zara? I know I only met him for a year but— Cedric was a great boy. I'm sure he would've been proud of you, you know, coming back here again, I think it would've meant a lot to him."

The Gryffindor girl wanted to say something, but since she didn't know what to say without sounding strange, she preferred not to say anything and simply leave the small room. She knew Harry's intentions were good, that at no point did he want to broach a sensitive topic for her but, after months of trying to convince herself that she was okay, she finally realized that she was not.

Perhaps it had been the loneliness and isolation imposed by herself, spending the mornings, afternoons and nights thinking about things far from that topic, or the number of times she had lain in her bed staring at the ceiling, thinking about things far away, like if Cedric had suffered in his death, or what were the things he had felt during his journey through the maze of the last task.

She felt deeply guilty for not having been there to help him. They had told her countless times that Voldemort had killed him with the Killing Curse, that there was nothing she could have done to stop him —just die alongside Cedric. For weeks she thought that perhaps that would have been the best option, to stop her head from so much torture and from so much thinking that it was her fault and only hers.

She leaned against the wall of the train for a moment, which vibrated as it traveled on the rail, and when she opened her eyes Cho was looking at her with apparent confusion on her face. "Zara? Are you okay?"

The girl felt like everyone was asking her the same question lately, but she forced herself to nod. "Just resting, I was feeling dizzy before." Zara lied. She cleared her throat, uncomfortable that the moment when she had to confront Cho had finally come. "How are you, Cho?"

The truth was that she and Cho Chang weren't the best friends in the world. They weren't even friends, despite being the same age; Cho was in Ravenclaw and she was in Gryffindor, they had barely shared a few classes since their start at Hogwarts. Cho was a popular girl, everyone liked her, and she was always nice to others, and that's why Zara hadn't minded that someone like Cho dated her best friend. They got along just for it; if Cedric hadn't shown up, the two girls probably would have just waved at each other in the hallways.

And it wasn't that Cho was a bad girlfriend or adviser to Cedric, quite the contrary. It was just that Zara couldn't see a friend in Cho, because she thought they were very different. However, now that Cedric had been murdered, she understood that the young Ravenclaw was looking for some support in her boyfriend's best friend.

"I'm fine, really," Cho nodded, distraught. "It's still hard sometimes, but I like to think he would've wanted me to get through this, not being sad constantly. What about you? How was your summer?"

"Numb," was the first thing that came to Zara's head, so she said it. Cho frowned. "Painful. Faint. I barely remember what I did, to be honest. Everyday lying on my bed, trying to leave my mind blank, trying not to remember, not to think. And that's when I fell asleep, when all the memories came as nightmares." Zara realized that perhaps she was being too sincere when she saw Cho's face, and cleared her throat again, coming back to reality. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be this blunt. But, yeah, I guess when time passes we'll recover from this. Won't we?"