Chosen

Death

Edited as of 9-2-16

Death:

           I lay on something soft. I can faintly remember where I once was, in a hard chair, on a stiff table. But now I am on the softness of death. My eyes are closed to the brightness. But I stay here. So this is death. It is kind of boring though, not going anywhere, or doing anything. Am I going to stay on this softness forever? I wish death would take me wherever it goes soon because that's where people go right? Well this sucks, not doing anything, just left alone with my thoughts. . .

Why do my sides hurt? I open my eyes to the sun- it's the real sun too- which I have to admit is a nice touch by death because the sun is nice and warm. But why is this soft stuff damp? It is making me wet. I lift my head, and it goes spinning. This is death I have nothing left to fear now. Do I?

Wow.

I see green as far as the eye can see. I struggle to sit, and groan as I look down and see my tattered shirt bloody and ragged. I lift the shirt and see the five holes. This just keeps getting worse. I thought in death you were suppose to be as you were in life . . . I guess they don't really tell you which part of life you are being.

Wait, why does it still hurt? I let the balloon go! Damn, I must still be alive. Wait. . . Holy shit, I'm still alive! Once I remember, my sides flair up in agony and pain. Well, what good is that? To be alive and in pain?

I look around grimacing. Where am I? Where should I go? I can see nothing but this green field, and a forest in the distance. I try to stand, but it hurts too much so I crawl to the forest. I rest there, my head pounding and my whole body numb with fatigue. Why do I have to suffer? This torment! At least I am not in that room-with that sick jerk! I hope he dies in a hole, alone. It would make my day to see the bugs eating out his eyes and larva crawling up his nose.

Am I going to die alone? At least I can see the sky- no clouds, but still a blue sky and much better compared to darkness or the bright light. I look into the woods and then the field. After a while I stop caring. The pain across my body is intense and I wonder why I should fight, because fighting is too hard. Life is too hard!

But I can't let the sicko killer win. Maybe I can give something useful to the police. He has brown hair! Yeah, like that would help. I laugh, even though it hurts my sides to the point where I am crying instead of laughing. I calm down and control my breathing. I need to help myself as much as possible if I am going to still try to live. I take off my shirt and even though I am now just in my bra, I press the cloth to my wounds and scream to the sky as I do. I use my belt to keep the shit in place.

I can't give up now. I have taken too much pain, too much suffering to give up now. I turn towards the woods and crawl because, that is the best anyone is going to get out of me, no way am I able to stand. Rocks cut into my hands making them ache, which is a little funny, considering that I am in so much pain already. I imagine a coach standing just a few paces away from me, and being a coach, she is yelling at me with whistle in hand.

"You push yourself harder! You can't give up now, I'm not going to let you!" She says pulling the whistle away from her lips so she can speak, but as soon as she finishes this sentence she begins to blow it again.

"I'm trying coach." I crawl another foot.

"Try harder!"

How much longer do I have to go? I love the woods, but I just want to get out of them already. Ha, how ironic would it be if this killer sets you free knowing you would have to crawl for miles and miles to get to... a road. Yes, a road! I crawl faster, this must be the same road that the college dude found, maybe I will actually make it! I scoot up a small hill onto the road, maybe I wasn't even in Colorado anymore but like Texas. No, Texas is too dry to have trees.

What now? Where do I go now? I touch my shirt and flinch, I am still bleeding, the shirt is soaked.. Well, if this is a good enough place for the college dude to die, then I might as well lie down because I can't make another move. I am so tired, so very tired. I lie down smack in the middle of the road so that if anyone is coming, they will have to run into me. I turn my head so I look into the green pines and mossy trunks. I wonder if he is out there now, watching me, to see if I die.

"Leave me so I can die alone with my sky, my trees and my road you sick cold hearted asshole. Go die alone! I hope no one can hear the last words you have the audacity to breathe!"I scream into the woods. I imagine him coming out and finishing me off just for that, but no, it is only me and the road and the killer who just waits for me to die. I know he is there somewhere watching, laughing maybe, at his handy work.

"You sick bastard," I whisper as I black out.