Beauty to Ashes

Chapter 5

She said, "That day, I was dragged out alive right under his nose. He never once stopped them for my sake. Whether I die or whether I live, he simply does not care. 

Hence, Chen Lan did not say a word for a very long time. 

After an unknown amount of time passed, he asked in a low voice. "Then, do you want to leave with me?" He told her that Chen Ruo had bestowed upon him the title of Prince Wu, and left him in charge of a piece of land near the borders. He would have to head over in a few days. 

Jin Xiu fell into a trance.

Many years ago, someone had stretched out his hand to her and asked her if she wanted to leave with him in the same manner. Now, it was still him, and he had asked the same question yet again.

Since the day she met Chen Lan, he had seen her in her most miserable state, he had seen her at her ugliest. That man would always remain silent as he stretched out a hand to her.

Chen Lan was just that warm.

She gradually laughed again. When she turned her head to look at him, her innocence and guileless nature were heightened. Chen Lan stared at her and suddenly felt decrepit.

"The one she most likely despised is him, right?" 

Back then, he was the one that had brought her to Chen Country in a moment of impulse, causing her to suffer such torment and humiliation. If he had not brought her over, would she be in that resplendent palace enjoying the glorious life she was meant to live now?

He lowered his hand and asked her in a soft voice, "...Do you hate me?"

Jin Xiu widened her eyes in astonishment. Strange, why did he think this way?

Back then, every single decision was made by her, what did it have to do with Chen Lan? Why would she hate him?

"... Really?" Chen Lan responded with a single question, before abruptly keeping mum. On the other hand, Jin Xiu raised her head up and grinned at him.

"Ah Lan."

"Mm?"

"Do you like me?" When she asked this, she raised her head, her thin and fair neck mirroring that of a swan's.

"!" 

Chen Lan's eyes widened the instant she asked that question. Then, he sighed, before flashing a bitter smile. "... Yes, I like you. Since the first time I met you."

Jin Xiu nodded her head. She replied saying, " Ah Lan, I'll follow you."

In the end, we all need to live on, right?

Wuzhou was located at the borders, close to the Great Wall. There, armored horses and frothing rivers abounded, and the scent of metal permeated the air. Wuzhou was established at the foot of a mountain - it was easy to defend and difficult to attack. The Prince's Mansion had been constructed halfway up the mountain, with a white and silky waterfall in the back garden that flowed continuously, generating mist akin to jade.

Jin Xiu liked this place. Even in the winter, she would bundle herself up in a fur coat and sit beneath a pavilion to listen to the sound of flowing water.

Once, Chen Lan asked her why she liked the waterfall so much. She only shook her head with a smile, staring fixedly at it instead of giving an answer.

At that moment, Chen Lan could once again sense that she was doing her utmost to put on a façade of calm.

The girl before him had never walked out of her nightmare. She was only pretending, pretending that she had already escaped from it.

Time flew by, and the seventh month arrived once more. Chen Lan was afraid that the circumstances would evoke her sadness again and carefully followed her the whole day. Jin Xiu, on the other hand, was more or less indifferent to it. She explained that she was fine with a smile.

Nobody in the Prince's Manor knew of her origins, but since Chen Lan treated her so well, everyone also regarded her with respect.

However, when it was time for the yearly feast, she did not appear.

Chen Lan went to find her, and just as he guessed, she was sitting under the pavilion near the waterfall.

Dress in plain clothes and jet-black hair. The girl who stood with her back facing him seemed to be basking in the moonlight. With the sound of water trickling in the background, Jin Xiu's voice appeared to possess an unexpected trace of clarity.

"... Every turning point in my life always occurred in the seventh month." She said this with such calmness. After this, she turned her head and even flashed a smile at Chen Lan.

"... Ah Lan, you like me, right?" This was the question she had asked him one year back. After asking him, she had followed him to Wuzhou.

Chen Lan looked at her, and after a long, long time, the youth who looked frighteningly similar to Chen Ruo finally answered her slowly. "I don't need you to reciprocate. Even if I can't do anything about it, I won't be so shameless as to force your feelings."

"... You are completely different from him." Jin Xiu had a blank expression on her face, and when she said this, she couldn't help but laugh.

Chen Lan shook his head. "Talent, ambition, and wisdom. I would never be able to compare to my royal brother."

Jin Xiu gestured for him to come over. She stood shoulder to shoulder with Chen Lan, facing the gushing waterfall that brought forth a cloud of snow-white mist. Then, he heard the girl's gentle voice drift over.

"Ah Lan, you once asked me why I enjoy looking at the waterfall. Let me tell you why. I feel like the waterfall is just like me." 

When waterfalls are overflowing with water, they are empowered with the strength of a thousand forces, able to overcome anything in its way. But when it is dried up, the few drops of water are still able to penetrate stone with perseverance. But in truth, even if it can do so, it would never be able to produce a pool like this.

That pale and beautiful girl stared forward fixedly with eyes that could not see. She said this while Chen Lan remained silent at the side, quietly listening to her analogy.

Ever since she turned seven and met Chen Ruo, her life had become a vast wilderness. Ever since that day, her world only contained Chen Ruo. 

What about now? 

She was still trapped in Chen Ruo's world. She pretended to forget and have no care for him. She pretended that it no longer hurt, and forced herself not to shed tears for him. 

Now, she was so fragile that she could collapse at any time – This was the price she had to pay.

"I want to stand back up. I want to walk out." She said it like this.

She was the daughter of the Xiao Family. The princess of Dayue.

Jin Xiu turned her head over to look at him. Suddenly, she smiled. "But I'm still not strong enough. Alone, I would not be able to walk out of this wilderness. And Ah Lan, you like me. You said that you were not a shameless person, but I, Xiao Jin Xiu, am one. This girl here wants to use your love for me in order to walk out of this fatal trap. How despicable."

Chen Lan did not reply. He only stretched out his hand slowly to hold her icy cold and fair finger.

The corner of Jin Xiu's lips twitched slightly.

"... Currently, this girl doesn't love you."

"Mm." He nodded his head and tightened his grip slightly. 

"... It is possible that she would not love you this lifetime." 

"Mm." Still, he nodded his head and tightened his grip even more.

"She's only using you."

He already had a firm grasp over her fingers.

"I only want her to rise up from her despair, and then see her smile at me. I know how much sorrow she is in. So please, use me." As he said this, Chen Lan planted a kiss on her forehead.