Fade Into You

Ch. 2: Scintilla

Haida peered up into the bathroom mirror, his dull sage eyes staring back at him. He leaned forward and turned on the sink, his long back aching slightly as he rinsed his face. The cold water rejuvenated him from his drowsy stupor via staring at a computer monitor for nearly eight hours. His cheeks were flushed already from his first beer, which made his freckles—god, he hated his freckles—stand out even more against his skin.

The gangly accountant sighed, glancing down at his dripping hands. A scar had formed over the past several months on his right palm, where he had been slashed by the box cutter. It had faded but would always be there, the redden flesh a constant reminder of...that night.

Haida shuddered, wishing he could forget the incident. Going with his gut had never been his strong-suit but seeing Retsuko's face tucked into her winter scarf, clutching her phone worriedly to her face raised his suspicions. It didn't help that, after nearing her from behind, he could make out the party on the other line who was in near hysterics, repeatedly asking where Retsuko was and if she was safe.

He ripped a paper towel from the hanging dispenser, recalling how it felt to hold Retsuko's rag doll-like body, her eyes never once opening to assure him that she was okay, as his greatest fear seeped into his core.

After that incident his nightmares had returned.

He didn't tell anyone about them, not even Fenneko. Then again, he wasn't sure if he would be physically able to describe them. Each time the memory...no, the memory gone bad, had disturbed him from his sleep, Haida would awaken to wet cheeks and utter panic clenching at his chest. He even had experienced stirring himself by his own cries, her name falling off of the tip of his tongue and lost into the night of his empty apartment.

He never could lose Retsuko.

And yet a part of him felt like he already had. After a grueling six months of limited contact with his fellow accountant, albeit the occasional text message, Haida felt as if their encounter at the karaoke lounge had never even occurred. Sure, Retsuko was back to work but she still appeared to be having trouble adjusting. She refrained from eating with others and was extremely quiet...at least, much quieter than usual.

Even Director Ton was noticeably less eager to assign tedious tasks to her; once he even stopped calling her 'Calendar' for a whole three hours.

Haida continued to watch his reflection in the mirror, running a hand through his untidy hair.

'She wasn't even yours to lose in the first place, asshole.' he thought, watching the spikes at the top of his head spring back into place as he removed his hand from his roots.

Yet the way she had looked that night, her death growl amplified by the microphone she wound around her delicate fingers and her wide bob of red hair appearing to float around her face.

She was radiant. And he was the only one there to witness her splendor.

To find out the girl he had adored for this long was an angel from heavy metal heaven was enough to render his pulse erratic.

He watched as his face redden even further, cursing under his breath. 'No...you don't know her. And remember your decision.'

Never happy with his self-image but satisfied at his efforts, he stepped back out into the dining area of the bar. There were strings of lights overhead that flickered during occasional intervals; it made Haida feel even dizzier even though he had only downed a single glass of alcohol. He sauntered around the countertops over to where Fenneko was still sitting at a booth, sipping at her second (or third?) beer while scrolling nonchalantly on her phone.