Never been touched...

Authors note: the same letter is in 3 parts.

Letter continued.

You came near me and tried to touch my hand,I reluctantly took my hand away.But you caught it I got stunned for once but tried to calm myself. Your touch was gentle enough but I didn't know what was wrong with me.You started moving your hands on my bangles slowly which produced the tingling sound from them.Your hand started moving up to the length of my hand, that was the time I couldn't explain myself it felt weird.You moved your hands and took out my dupatta,I was still controlling myself. Your hands started working to remove my jewellery I sat still not moving an inch.

Soon I was in front of you with my clothes except dupatta and no jewelleries.You had hard grip on my waist and tried to pull me closer,than you tried to kiss me, but I didn't allow I used my hands for resistance against your chest but your grip was tighter.You caught my hair but I pushed you, you were shocked.Frustated you slapped me!

"If you didn't like to be touched.Why the hell you married me,Mad woman!"

And you left the room.Hot tears covered my face.I was never been slapped, not even my parents.I collapsed on the ground didn't know what to say.I cried alot that night like there is no tomorrow and this was the end of my life.I didn't know when I slept on the cold floor.

The next morning I didn't see you and soon everybody called and I became busy in household works.I didn't see you for the whole day,I asked your sister and she declined saying she knows nothing about your presence.At night I waited for you and it was 2 in the morning and you still didn't come and I drifted into sleep.Soon I realized that you were sleeping in other room,Your family knew about this but did not budge to do anything.They didn't try to say you anything but always taunted me,

"Aaj kal ki ladkiyan,cannot even please their husband."

The words from your sister in law's mouth,followed by laughter of your sister and mother, it pierced my heart and slowly breaking my self confidence.A girl who had come  from her family only being dependent on her husband,and that person rejects her.What she should do then?

Was it my mistake that first I was told not to be touched and then I was told to get naked in front of a guy ,I didn't know ?

One day you were at home,when you were searching your clothes in cupboard.Your back was towards me and you were in your vest and towel tied around your waist,

Okay if you want this I will give you,Be bold tanu!

These words I said it in my mind and was ready.I came to you and hugged you tightly leaving all the concern about what you will think about me.For once your body reacted to shock but then you relaxed,

"I am sorry but I didn't mean too..."

I was not able to continue,you turned around and looked at me.Your eyes stared at me,I felt that you accepted my apology and I got you back.But that was the silliest thing I had ever thought.You cupped my face and brought it closer,

"You never allowed me to touch you for the first time and you will never be touched by me for lifetime."
And you were right,you never touched me.I tried again and again I came to you again leaving all self respect I had left.Seducing,I didn't know that word.But I learnt it,searched the videos on internet and tried to learn but what I got was your rejection.Your stupid male ego ruined my life!

2 years this was going on,thanks to your family as they did great work in supporting me by taunting daily and thank you to my family when I told my mother about it,

"Adjust beta ,you have to adjust.Men are like this only!"

I didn't know what to do whom to go ,there was nobody for me.I was so alone.Everyday I used to face insults I felt like maid in your house.A  woman's respect is made by her man and you took all of it.Your mother used to taunt me and your sister and sister-in-law enjoyed the show with their giggles.

"She's so sexy,Why Naren bhai does not touch her I wonder.I should get a chance with her."
These words came from your cousin brother's mouth who was just 17,My blood boiled to the comment I looked at him with my furious red eyes,ashamed he looked down and left.

My anti-depressants and tranquillizers started and starting making their negative effect on my body I started shrinking in size,nobody cared about me and talking to you resulted in vain efforts.

Thankyou husband for the beautiful time I had.