Bandit (Smokey and the Bandit Part IV)

Act 2, Scene 7 & 8

BOOKER DARVILLE

Could I get a table and some duct tape, please?

Clementine flails her legs around. She laughs as she tries to free herself from Booker's grasp. One of the guests notices Booker's truck.

RESTAURANT PATRON

Is that the truck that's been all over the news?

Booker sets Clementine down and frowns. He turns and looks outside, squinting his eyes.

BOOKER DARVILLE

Uh, no. I don't think so. Why would a wanted man stop at a place he knows he'd be recognized? That's crazy.

Another guest pulls out their phone and goes online. He holds his phone up and sees that the picture is the same as the truck outside.

BOOKER DARVILLE

Oh, would you look at that? It's a dead ringer. I can't believe that someone would have a truck that looks just like... mine.

CLEMENTINE SNOW

I don't think they're buying it, Book.

BOOKER DARVILLE

Come on, guys, we're just here for some food.

EMPLOYEE

We're not gonna serve criminals.

BOOKER DARVILLE

Well, that's alright, well just eat somewhere else.

Booker turns to leave followed by Clementine. A third Guest stands between them and the door.

GUEST

You're not going anywhere, not until the cops get here.

The guest nods at the employee behind the counter. They grab a phone.

CLEMENTINE SNOW

Well, it looks like you've got this, I'll see you later, Sonuva Bandit.

Clementine starts walking towards the door. The guest reaches for her and grabs her firmly by her shoulder.

GUEST

You're not going anywhere either!

BOOKER DARVILLE

Oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you.

GUEST

Why not?

BOOKER DARVILLE

Because she's got a mean right hook.

Clementine grabs the guy's hand and squeezes as hard as she can. The guest falls down to a knee. Clementine rears back and hits him across the face. The guest falls to the ground, knocked out. Clementine points to the employee behind the counter.

CLEMENTINE SNOW

You'd put that damned phone down if you know what's good for you.

The employee freezes as Clementine stares him down. We can hear a 9-1-1 operator on the other end of the line. Clementine shakes her head.

EMPLOYEE

We need police to Suga's Diner in Tallulah, that black silverado is here...

Clementine runs over to the counter and slams the employee's head into the counter. The other guests start heading towards her. Booker grabs onto one of them and pulls them back onto the floor. He turns another guest towards him and hits him across the face. The guest he pulled to the floor jumps on his back. Booker lets out a yelp as he is brought to the floor. Clementine takes the phone out of the employee's hand and smashes it on the counter. She turns around and hits the person that Booker hit earlier. Booker elbows the person holding him in a chokehold. He reaches out for Clementine.

BOOKER DARVILLE

(choking)

Tag in, tag in!

Clementine taps Booker's hand and the reaches down, grabbing the hand of the person holding Booker. She bends their thumb backward and they scream.

CLEMENTINE SNOW

Let him go.

BOOKER DARVILLE

Yeah, let him go.

CLEMENTINE SNOW

Let him go or I break it.

BOOKER DARVILLE

She will.

The person let's go of Booker. Clementine pulls the guest out from under him and hits him square in the face. Booker sits up, wheezing.

CLEMENTINE SNOW

I'm beginning to think that food was a bad idea.

Booker nods.

BOOKER DARVILLE

Yeah... yeah, that's my bad. We should get out of here.

They hear sirens in the distance. Booker waves for her to go.

BOOKER DARVILLE

Go. I'll be right behind you.

Clementine nods and then leans over and kisses Booker on his forehead. She stands up and goes outside.

CLEMENTINE SNOW

Thanks for having my back, Sonuva Bandit.

BOOKER DARVILLE

Anytime. Thanks for saving my ass, Snow Angel.

Booker forces himself to his feet and heads for the door.