“Yes, mom.”
“Ok, get ready and come down for breakfast before your brother eats it all up,” she said in a cheerful tone. Too cheerful, I noted, forced even, I made her worry again, a burden…
I slapped myself across the face, hard. The pain momentarily got me to stop thinking along that line.
Mama had asked me to do something and I must do it as soon as possible. I don’t want to disappoint her again.
I rushed through my morning routine, grabbed a pair of ripped jeans, white T-shirt and then pulled on a black oversized hoodie over it. I bolted down the stairs and into the kitchen only to see mama standing by the stove, just starting to make scrambled eggs and my brother was nowhere to be seen. He was probably asleep in his room right now.
I overdid things, again.
***
I pulled into the college parking lot in my low-key honda quite early actually. But then I just sat there trying to work up the courage to get out of my car and join the people walking towards the entrance.
So many people.
An intense wave of nausea hit me and I doubled over the steering wheel, gagging on thin air. I hadn’t eaten breakfast, even the smell of food was making me feel sick, I tried to swallow a few bites in front of mama then rushed to the toilet to empty out my stomach.
Later, I had thrown the rest of the food in the trash bin while mama wasn’t looking. I didn’t want her to worry about me not eating well. But the knowing look she gave on seeing my empty plate made me drown in guilt. She had found out anyway.
I wasted perfectly good food for nothing.
There are so many starving people in the world who would do anything for that food.
I have it but I don't eat.
I'm ungrateful.
I’m selfish.
I...
I can’t breathe.
What’s wrong?
Why
Help.
Mom.
Mama.
“Noah, Breathe.”
I’m trying.
It doesn’t work.
Nothing works.
I can't do it.
I can never...
“Noah, match my breathing.”
Slow.
Soothing.
A scent.
Sweet.
Smells good.
It’s so calming.
Finally able to match my wolf’s breathing.
The tight knot in my chest slowly undid itself.
I realized I had curled myself into a fetal position on my seat. Unwilling to let go of the warmth, I hugged my legs closer to my chest.
Taking in deep breaths I smelled fresh flowers.
So sweet and tantalizing.
Feels like home.
But my house doesn't smell like this.
Mine.
Mate!
...
Wait.
No
No, no , no.
This shouldn’t be happening.
This can’t be happening.
My wolf isn’t supposed to be active.
I had blocked him out with the suppressants.
Wait, I forgot to take my suppressants today.
Fuck
The scent was getting stronger, closer. I frantically searched through the items in the dashboard.
Despite being sweet, the scent held a dominant edge to it. A high ranking wolf...
Pls, God, help me. I don't want this.
“Noah, listen to me, don’t do this,” hearing my wolf’s voice after years was making me panic even more. I had suppressed him for so long. Was he mad at me? I blocked him out and continued searching.
My hands knocked into the bottle of suppressant pills. With shaking fingers, I somehow opened the lid and poured the pills in my mouth. I chocked and coughed while trying to swallow them without water but still ended up getting quite a few inside me. I sighed and slumped down in my seat to not be spotted through the window while the suppressants took effect.
My mate is here, in this college, in this parking lot and I am avoiding him, rejecting him.
Pathetic.
YOU ARE READING
Own Me, Save Me: Body, Heart & Soul (A Werewolf Story)
Werewolf(Male Omega and Female Alpha couple) Sajal, a rare female Alpha in a world dominated by males, and her journey to seduce her mate. Noah has issues, he knows that, but that doesn't stop him from wishing. His social anxiety leaves him a stuttering mes...
Chapter 1: Panic
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