Bandit (Smokey and the Bandit Part IV)

Act 1, Scene 1

You knew she was coming?

CARRIE DARVILLE

Who do you think she called to tell you she had an offer?

Carrie and Baby Enos sit down and watch Booker as he continues to stare at them.

BOOKER DARVILLE

Why didn't you call me?

BABY ENOS BURDETTE

Because I knew you'd hang up.

Booker looks at Carrie. She nods for him to take a seat across from them. Booker shakes his head and does so.

BOOKER DARVILLE

Okay, you have my attention, what the hell do you want?

BABY ENOS BURDETTE

Your grandfather's car, Trigger, I know where it is.

Carrie gasps.

BOOKER DARVILLE

Yeah, so do I. It's sitting outside... because grandma drove it here... today. You didn't see it when you walked in?

CARRIE DARVILLE

That's 'Son of trigger'. She's talking about the one he used to make the Texarkana run with.

BOOKER DARVILLE

They're not the same car?

CARRIE DARVILLE

No, Bo sold Trigger when he started... Bo lost Trigger.

BOOKER DARVILLE

OK, so what does that have to do with me? Woop-dee-do, you bought my granddad's car. Put it in a museum or something.

BABY ENOS BURDETTE

I said I found it, dummy, I never said I bought it.

BOOKER DARVILLE

Still haven't gotten to the part where I care.

CARRIE DARVILLE

Booker!

BABY ENOS BURDETTE

Your grandfather was a legend, boy, show some respect.

BOOKER DARVILLE

Yeah, a legend, that my dad was obsessed with living up to, and look where that got him.

CARRIE DARVILLE

Booker, your dad got caught because he couldn't... drive like Bo. But me and your father have seen you behind the wheel. It's like seeing Bo behind the wheel again.

Booker looks from Carrie to Baby Enos.

BOOKER DARVILLE

I know what you're getting at, and it's a terrible idea.

BABY ENOS BURDETTE

I want you to go in and steal your grandfather's car back.

BOOKER DARVILLE

And there it is. Yeah, not happening. You want me to commit grand theft auto, for what?

BABY ENOS BURDETTE

Well, you'll get to keep the car and... Let's see Big Enos paid Bandit 80,000 dollars for the Texarkana run. I'll quadruple it. 320,000 dollars.

Booker sits forward a little bit, interested.

BOOKER DARVILLE

Alright... what's the catch?

BABY ENOS BURDETTE

Nothing major.

BOOKER DARVILLE

Bullshit, there's always something when it comes to Burdette's.

BABY ENOS BURDETTE

Okay, fine. There are two... the first is that you have to get it from the owner's house in Canton, Texas and back to Enos Manor in Atlanta in... We'll say 24 hours—

BOOKER DARVILLE

Doing everything you can to up the ante this time, aren't you?

Baby Enos shrugs her shoulders.

BOOKER DARVILLE

What's the other catch? You said there were two.

BABY ENOS BURDETTE

The owner of the car. He's the Chief of Canton Police and Buford Justice's grandson.

BOOKER DARVILLE

(Laughing)

You have got to be shitting me.

CARRIE DARVILLE

Booker... you've got to get it back.

BOOKER DARVILLE

What, no! If Chief Justice wants a reminder of the one that got away, far-be-it from me to take it away from him and embarrass him even more. I think that family has suffered enough of that for a few generations.

CARRIE DARVILLE

That car has more memories in it than you could possibly understand! I'm not asking you to get it back, Book, I'm begging you. Do this for your dad, do it for me, please.

BOOKER DARVILLE

You're seriously trying to send your only grandchild to prison?

BABY ENOS BURDETTE

Only if you get caught.

BOOKER DARVILLE

You, stay out of this, Satan.

Carrie goes over to Booker and grabs his hand, shaking.

CARRIE DARVILLE

Booker, please!

Booker looks from Carrie to Baby Enos for a beat.

BOOKER DARVILLE

So that's why you called her. When does my time start?

Baby Enos shrugs her shoulders.

BABY ENOS BURDETTE

Right now.

BOOKER DARVILLE

Son of a bitch, fine!

Booker stands up and heads towards the door.

BOOKER DARVILLE

I'll call you from jail, grandma.

Carrie and Baby Enos watch Booker as he leaves and then fist bump each other.